decent
ok, so everything works out all right in the end usually, its just the waiting for it that kills me. Although it seems to be ass backwards in my case as my closests know... oh well, play the hand your delt i guess. So i should, and should means hopefully, get the boot off my car this week finally. Its been booted for like 3 weeks now. im still undetermined as to what to do with myself concerning this summer, housing, and after this summer. There are alot of things i could do, some more desireable than others though. I could work this summer and join the reserves in august and they would send me through my masters for fire science as well as give me a leg up and a perminent job. But id have to move to mass, and would have no place to live after boot camp and would have to try and swing apartment rent in boston after basic as well as look for another job for food money and all. I could stay up here and look for a perminent job over the summer and start work and make enough to pay rent and whatnot and stay up here for a bit while i take a year off from school. I could also work this paintin job and then move to mass or virginia in august and find a job down there. In mass id have to swing rent and everything, virginia id be living with the rents. Draw back with that is id be going crazy down there plus the south isnt a notoriously gay-friendly place to live. For living arrangements... I could either share a room in pland hall this summer for about 400 a month, or half that for anyone that wants a roomate. Or if i decided to stay in maine and could, i could rent an apartment. But that would entail looking for a roomate or two, lookin for an apartment and trying to swing rent like last summer, all over again. personally im all set on one can of soup every two days food wise. Duno, all i know is that i need this painting job to come through and start soon or else im not gona even have the housing deposite for a place at usm come may. i dont think that for a person like me, there is anything more frustrating that not having stability in my life. Right now theirs none of it and in a weird way i feel like im falling fast but not going anywhere all at the same time. I dont think I ve hit rock bottom yet though, which is also scarey. Atleast when youve hit the bottom theirs only up left to go. For me, i still have room to fall. Its never the fall that kills you, its the ground you hit. And i hope im not too nieve to wish for a water bed to land on.