Ugh.
Today is a bad day. I can tell already because I slept until almost nine o' clock last night and that's always a sign. I've been in my room all night, not wanting to socialize with anyone. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep and sleep and sleep. That sounds good right now. My nice, heated blanket, my comfy pillow, and sleep. Hopefully with dreams that are better than the life I am living right now.
I hate being miserable. That doesn't stop it from happening.
People are going to read this and tell me to stop being emo, to deal with it. I am. If I wasn't dealing, I'd probably be in the hospital from starvation by now. Eating has become a chore that I do because I force myself to do it. So has waking up, getting dressed, taking a shower, and brushing my hair. It's all a system of chores that I have to do, that I make myself do, so that I seem normal.
Just another routine. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Wake up. Breathe. Sleep. Repeat.
My mind is such a mess right now that I can't think straight. Everything is a blur of images all mixed together, dull colors splashed together like a child's watercolor painting, just a jumbled, ugly mess.
Get me out of here. I'm losing it.
I hate being miserable. That doesn't stop it from happening.
People are going to read this and tell me to stop being emo, to deal with it. I am. If I wasn't dealing, I'd probably be in the hospital from starvation by now. Eating has become a chore that I do because I force myself to do it. So has waking up, getting dressed, taking a shower, and brushing my hair. It's all a system of chores that I have to do, that I make myself do, so that I seem normal.
Just another routine. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Wake up. Breathe. Sleep. Repeat.
My mind is such a mess right now that I can't think straight. Everything is a blur of images all mixed together, dull colors splashed together like a child's watercolor painting, just a jumbled, ugly mess.
Get me out of here. I'm losing it.