burning bridges
The tarot card reader told me that I was doing everything right, that I'm on the path that I should be on. He also said that this time in my life is a new beginning, a big change. He was right about that.
The calm after the storm isn't all that calming after all. I feel busier than ever before, and there are so many people that I have to answer to, that I have to satisfy. My mind keeps going back to that Dexter episode, where he wonders "Can I have it all?" I too wonder, can I have it all? Creativity has dropped to the wayside as I have struggled to keep up in this new beginning.
Whenever I pick up my guitar, which isn't all that often, I strum the same old chords in the same old rhythm. I have no impetus to change, even though I hate the sameness. When I was at Tobie's show, I was so impressed. I've always felt that music is the closest we can get to meaning, to truth, to who we are inside and how we understand the world. There was a time that I would stop in the middle of the sidewalk to scrawl down a lyric, or an entire song, when I would stay up til 3am just exploring my ability to make noise. How can I get back to that place? When I see people playing music together, I get a little sad, because I am afraid that I will never experience that again.
The calm after the storm isn't all that calming after all. I feel busier than ever before, and there are so many people that I have to answer to, that I have to satisfy. My mind keeps going back to that Dexter episode, where he wonders "Can I have it all?" I too wonder, can I have it all? Creativity has dropped to the wayside as I have struggled to keep up in this new beginning.
Whenever I pick up my guitar, which isn't all that often, I strum the same old chords in the same old rhythm. I have no impetus to change, even though I hate the sameness. When I was at Tobie's show, I was so impressed. I've always felt that music is the closest we can get to meaning, to truth, to who we are inside and how we understand the world. There was a time that I would stop in the middle of the sidewalk to scrawl down a lyric, or an entire song, when I would stay up til 3am just exploring my ability to make noise. How can I get back to that place? When I see people playing music together, I get a little sad, because I am afraid that I will never experience that again.