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Ugh I have to write right now cuz like something is really bothering me. Last night Rob had an away message up and at the end it said for "marina" to IM him when she got back and he had a heart after her name so like I asked Tim who marina was and he said someone that Rob has wanted for a while and that he probably liked her even when we were going out. Then I told him it made me sad how easily I was replaced and he said that i was never replaced and that hes wanted her all along and that he probably just went out with me to say he had a girlfriend and to just make out but like we didnt make out. And Tim still likes me and Ashlee thinks hes just making up stuff to get me to hate Rob and like focus on him more. Like two nights ago he tried to say stuff about Rob that had to do with me to like make me not like Rob but I talked to Rob about it and he said none of it was true and I guess I believe Rob but I dont know. It just hurts seeing marina's name there cuz like I'm sure shes nice and everything but I really did like Rob and I was just replaced so easily. I know he was always replaced with Devin but any other guy besides Devin will be replaced with Devin cuz hes always in my mind. I dont know. I guess things just get to me easily. Last night Ashlee and Shannen decided they were gonna clean my closet and all my drawers and they didnt realize what they were taking on cuz my room looks like a bomb went off in it lol. But we kind of got through it. But Shannen said I have a problem letting go. And I guess I do cuz like I couldnt let go of clothes I KNOW im never gonna wear. But like its just this thing in my mind I guess where you feel like everything/everyone always leaves you no matter how hard you try to hold on and like I guess I just hate letting go. I dont know. Life just gets me sad/confused I guess. I want schedules to come home really bad this week. I'm hopeing like thursday or Friday.
Well im going on vacation with Shannen and Ashlee to Virginia Beach from the 27th to the 30th only four days but like it should be fun cuz we have a room by the beach and theres like a surf competition I guess and it just seems fun. It's a way to get away from things though. Even though I'll wish I could talk to "certain people" but like just time to get away and think is good I guess. I'm kind of ready for my eye operation now. I know it will be fine. Well I hope. I just have to stop worrying and like know that im not the only one whos gone through it and that if he didnt think I could handle it he would do something different or he just wouldnt have me get it. So I guess im ready. I'm just happy this eye thing will stop. So for vacation I wont have it hopefully. I hopy its healed by the time we go on vacation though. I guess ill just take life as it comes.
I love you...wishing you would ask me out and just give me another chance <3
Well im going on vacation with Shannen and Ashlee to Virginia Beach from the 27th to the 30th only four days but like it should be fun cuz we have a room by the beach and theres like a surf competition I guess and it just seems fun. It's a way to get away from things though. Even though I'll wish I could talk to "certain people" but like just time to get away and think is good I guess. I'm kind of ready for my eye operation now. I know it will be fine. Well I hope. I just have to stop worrying and like know that im not the only one whos gone through it and that if he didnt think I could handle it he would do something different or he just wouldnt have me get it. So I guess im ready. I'm just happy this eye thing will stop. So for vacation I wont have it hopefully. I hopy its healed by the time we go on vacation though. I guess ill just take life as it comes.
I love you...wishing you would ask me out and just give me another chance <3