My Life of Privilege, on Hold, Sorta
I'm opening the backlog of accumulated mail. So many markers of procrastination.
Some of this is due to my habitual tendency to put off making decisions. I am finding making decisions even more difficult because I am looking for work. My time is so unstructured, and there are so many possibilities. On the other hand, i have no money. Well, not no money. But little enough money that I feel that there are many decisions that might usually be among the ones I could make that I can now no longer make.
Like buying opera tickets, for instance. I'm getting all of these reminders that now is the time to renew my subscription. I'd like to. They are doing Fiedlio, and I'd really like to see that.
I also wish it didn't hurt, didn't feel like a major purchase, when I go to Marshall's to pick up a decent pair of size 10 Wide shoes for Butternut.
Because my life was not supposed to be like this. I was supposed to go to college, get a job, work hard, at a fulfilling and challenging job, buy curtains for my house, put my kid in a good daycare, take a long-weekend once in a while.
I want colleagues. Dental insurance would also be nice. I played by the f-ing rules, damnit.
Okay. Time to get the Boy.
Some of this is due to my habitual tendency to put off making decisions. I am finding making decisions even more difficult because I am looking for work. My time is so unstructured, and there are so many possibilities. On the other hand, i have no money. Well, not no money. But little enough money that I feel that there are many decisions that might usually be among the ones I could make that I can now no longer make.
Like buying opera tickets, for instance. I'm getting all of these reminders that now is the time to renew my subscription. I'd like to. They are doing Fiedlio, and I'd really like to see that.
I also wish it didn't hurt, didn't feel like a major purchase, when I go to Marshall's to pick up a decent pair of size 10 Wide shoes for Butternut.
Because my life was not supposed to be like this. I was supposed to go to college, get a job, work hard, at a fulfilling and challenging job, buy curtains for my house, put my kid in a good daycare, take a long-weekend once in a while.
I want colleagues. Dental insurance would also be nice. I played by the f-ing rules, damnit.
Okay. Time to get the Boy.