hodge-podge

[shanaeden]

So now that my bipolar is doing better the other things come out to play. I just left an uptown music festival, in which I was with people who care about me, and I was seeing lots of people I know, and everyone was nice, because the anxiety got to be too much. (and when I got a ride for Rachel, the only reason left to stay was just for me, and that

Comments

[charis19]

operant conditioning?

(stole the definition from the dictionary)

[shanaeden]

A process of behavior modification in which the likelihood of a specific behavior is increased or decreased through positive or negative reinforcement each time the behavior is exhibited, so that the subject comes to associate the pleasure or displeasure of the reinforcement with the behavior.

in my case, my therapist believes that I've spent so long being anxious and hyper-aroused toward social cues when going to a social event, that my brain is in a sort of feedback loop about it. I go, and I sure as heck WILL get that way because my brain knows that it will happen. So she thinks if I take the ativan prior to doing the social event, the chemical will lessen the arousal of my brain and I'll start "learning" that I'm not going to feel that way.

Re: (stole the definition from the dictionary)

[charis19]

i see. makes sense.

i'm sure there are mental exercises you can do to help the ativan do it's job too, right?

bipolars tend to be much more perceptive (often over perceptive and too trusting of their feelings/'instincts') and thus shove themselves over into anxiety and overthinking things.. which naturally leads right into social anxiety as well. it's very frustrating.

Re: (stole the definition from the dictionary)

[shanaeden]

yeah, over-perceptive and too-trusting is right! Rationally I knew that tonight people were being kind and it was a good time, but irrationally I kept wondering, "Did that person just blow me off and not say Hi even though he said hi to 2 people around me?" and other ridiculousness.

I do need to figure out some good mental exercises that work for me. Good reminder.

Re: (stole the definition from the dictionary)

[charis19]

i just try to remind myself constantly when interacting wtih people now not to read between the lines. i always try to see more than i need to see. if something is blatantly obvious, then fine, but if it's not, and i'm just fishing, i have to stop myself 'cause it can cause some major problems.

and when something is blatantly obvious, then i just let it go these days. most of the time if someone walks away from me or tries to hurt me i just let it go because i don't have the time or energy to deal with relationships that aren't as valued to others as they are to me.

Re: (stole the definition from the dictionary)

[glitterophelia]

"bipolars tend to be much more perceptive (often over perceptive and too trusting of their feelings/'instincts') and thus shove themselves over into anxiety and overthinking things.. which naturally leads right into social anxiety as well. it's very frustrating."

Very well said, that totally sounds like what I go through!

Re: (stole the definition from the dictionary)

[psychogranny]

Actually, that's what I did with my klonopin, and it really worked. I started taking it before I would go to things where I knew I was going to freak out. I felt more comfortable, so I felt more free to be myself, and I've started to need it less and less. Of course, I do have a tendency to slip back into old patterns if I'm not careful.

[shanaeden]

Thanks for letting me know you have had this experience! It's nice to hear that my therapist is on the ball about this. It would be nice to go out and not keep analyzing everyone's reactions toward me until I'm finally whipped into a panicked frenzy.

[psychogranny]

Why do we DO that to ourselves?? The thing is, our own behavior when we get that way is what causes other people to react negatively towards us.