(no subject)

[shama_mama]

Trapped in my mind
Stuck in my heart
Full of emotions,
Purpose-less feelings,
And chaos
I am lost in the constant
Confusion
That occupies my soul
Unable to break free
From the words that
Put me in this cell
Even though
Each word
Is my own
I have in-validated my own
Opinion to keep myself safe
From the criticisms of others
I am constantly at war
With that part of myself that says
"You ain't so tough on the eyes"
And I always win
But the victory is only truly a victory
When someone throws an insult my way
Because I already think so little
Of myself
That it cant hurt me
My prison cell
Is lined with the barbed wire
Of my own self doubts
And the walls are made
Of the words I have
Turned inward
Allowing them to fine
Their sheath
Their final resting place
In my soul
There is no room for
Positivity here
There is but one small
Crack in the wall
Where self-love
Sometimes shines in
But I quickly push her away
She does not belong in this
Self-made torture chamber
Where I
Batter and abuse myself
Where I cut myself so deep
That my soul
Not blood
Seeps through the wounds