Fuck.
I feel fucking defeated.
Saturday is veggie pickup day for the CSA that was donated to me, but Jonno amd my parents were out of town and couldnt drive me. At first I thought I'd try Lyft for the first time, my brother keeps encouraging that. But then I looked at the weather report....high of 75 around 1 but it was gorgeous at 9:30, and my knees have been doing so well so I decided to see if I could do the walk. It's about 2 miles round trip, all flat. I made the first 3/4 mile or so without using my cane, pulled that out,and by the time I got to the veggies I was out of breath but exhilarated. This could be a Thing! I could maybe do this once a week and build up to more, it is such great great joy to not have to ask permission from anyone to leave the house. I got some water and started back, realized I was missing a few ingredients from anything I wNted to cook, but I saw thw nearest grocery store was actually on my way! I had never noticed it before because its not visible from rhe street, and following car directions made it look further than it actually is. So I stopped in briefly for corn and cilantro and fruit and canned tomatoes...feeling slightly silly about the tomatoes since I have about 8 pounds of heirlooms right now...and continued on my way. Wish it was a Lion/Fresco instead of a miPeublo, because then I could do 99% of my groceries there in walking distance.
It had started to hurt when I passed the school the first time and Id brought my cane out, but on the way back when I hit the school the pain came in sharp mocking bursts. 4 blocks from home, fuck you body! And I noticed the heat was coming and I wasnt sweating. Neighbors are looking at me strangely. The rolling grocery bag is feeling like lead and my joints are convinced they are full of peppery sand and sweats rolling into my eyes and my lungs are burning fuck fuck fuck. I was not going to call a fucking taxi for two blocks. I barely made it in the house and passed out in the doorway. Housemate helpfully put a cold soda next to my neck, went back to his video game and asked if I picked up milk. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck all of you.
About 30 minutes later I scooted on my butt to the shitty mew fridge to unload my new stuff, and discovered half my tomatoes are frozen. I guess its good I got the canned stuff.
I turned the temp down in the fridge again. Wish there was a way to check for sure if it was still safe for meat etc?
I feel like every time I try to make this house more livable I get shot down. It sucks because the neighborhood itself is lovely.
Saturday is veggie pickup day for the CSA that was donated to me, but Jonno amd my parents were out of town and couldnt drive me. At first I thought I'd try Lyft for the first time, my brother keeps encouraging that. But then I looked at the weather report....high of 75 around 1 but it was gorgeous at 9:30, and my knees have been doing so well so I decided to see if I could do the walk. It's about 2 miles round trip, all flat. I made the first 3/4 mile or so without using my cane, pulled that out,and by the time I got to the veggies I was out of breath but exhilarated. This could be a Thing! I could maybe do this once a week and build up to more, it is such great great joy to not have to ask permission from anyone to leave the house. I got some water and started back, realized I was missing a few ingredients from anything I wNted to cook, but I saw thw nearest grocery store was actually on my way! I had never noticed it before because its not visible from rhe street, and following car directions made it look further than it actually is. So I stopped in briefly for corn and cilantro and fruit and canned tomatoes...feeling slightly silly about the tomatoes since I have about 8 pounds of heirlooms right now...and continued on my way. Wish it was a Lion/Fresco instead of a miPeublo, because then I could do 99% of my groceries there in walking distance.
It had started to hurt when I passed the school the first time and Id brought my cane out, but on the way back when I hit the school the pain came in sharp mocking bursts. 4 blocks from home, fuck you body! And I noticed the heat was coming and I wasnt sweating. Neighbors are looking at me strangely. The rolling grocery bag is feeling like lead and my joints are convinced they are full of peppery sand and sweats rolling into my eyes and my lungs are burning fuck fuck fuck. I was not going to call a fucking taxi for two blocks. I barely made it in the house and passed out in the doorway. Housemate helpfully put a cold soda next to my neck, went back to his video game and asked if I picked up milk. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck all of you.
About 30 minutes later I scooted on my butt to the shitty mew fridge to unload my new stuff, and discovered half my tomatoes are frozen. I guess its good I got the canned stuff.
I turned the temp down in the fridge again. Wish there was a way to check for sure if it was still safe for meat etc?
I feel like every time I try to make this house more livable I get shot down. It sucks because the neighborhood itself is lovely.