A Heartwarming Kitten Story
So this morning, I was lying in bed, not wanting to get out because I agreed to come in at 7 a.m. per my boss' request (my usual hours are 8:00-4:30), and I kept hearing this odd yipping noise. At first I thought it was a bird noise, but on second thought it sounded more like a cat noise; I've had a cat all my life, and I know cat noises when I hear them. So I thought, "God damn it, Oliver," and rolled over.
Except Oliver doesn't yip. He howls when he gets stuck in the basement, and normally he just kind of mumbles; he doesn't even really meow the way most cats do. He trills to say Hi (and also to say HELLO FRIEND PLAY PLAY PLAY! GO PLAY FRIEND PLAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY~), but that's pretty much it. We have feral cats who run around fighting and making love in our yard; I figured the noise was probably coming from outside.
So I staggered downstairs and realized, as I drew closer to the source of the odd yipping, that it was coming from inside the house. I had just woken up and didn't have my glasses on, so as I meandered into the kitchen, my first thought was, Why is lolmom torturing that rat? Concerned about both the rat's safety and lolmom's personality apparently doing a 180, I drew closer.
The small yipping creature was not a rat. It was a very tiny kitten, so tiny in fact that the fur had not grown in on its paws yet and its eyes weren't even open. It can't have been more than two weeks old or so, if that. The size difference between it and Oliver was kind of amazing; Oliver is still technically a kitten, though he's nearly grown (we think he was born in August or September), and he's not a big cat as such things go, but next to this kitten, he was huge.
The din in our kitchen began to resemble this:
Kitten: I WANT MY MOMMY I WANT MY LITTERMATES I AM HUNGRY AND I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING THIS IS ALL VERY CONFUSING SOMEBODY HELP
Oliver: HELLO FRIEND! WHY HAPPENING? MAKE STOP
Lolmom: lol hi i haz dun sthg v. foolish plz u holdz kitteh nau :D
Kitten: I DO NOT WANT TO BE HELD I WANT MY MOMMY I AM HUNGRY I AM HUNGRY I AM HUNGRY WHY ARE YOU STARVING ME
Oliver: WHY HAPPENING? MAKE STOP FRIEND
l33: ...Yes. You have done something very foolish. (At this point, I was trying to hold the kitten without squishing its tiny ribcage while it flailed helplessly around on the counter, and also without allowing it to plummet over the edge. This was a two-hand endeavor, and the kitten was unhappy all around.)
The story, as I got it out of lolmom, went something like this: There was a family of feral cats living near the factory where lolmom works, too close to the road where the semis come up for safety. The mother cat had moved the other kittens out of the way, but over a period of four hours, failed to come back for this kitten, either because she smelled people or because she met her fate and could not return. The co-worker's idea was to put it in a box and leave it at the Humane Society's doorstep, which wasn't evil so much as thoughtless (hello, it's a baby. Its eyes aren't even open yet). So the kitten came home with lolmom, who was trying to get it to take some milk from a damp rag; when this proved fruitless, she decided to go to Lol-Mart for a syringe.
l33: They sell kitten bottles, Mom. And formula.
Lolmom: lol rly?
l33: Yep. In the pet section.
Lolmom: lol du u think i shud taek kitteh w/me?
l33: Well, I don't think Oliver would hurt him, but he could fall off the counter. I'm not going to be here when you get back, so I won't be able to watch him.
Lolmom: ...lol ya, wil taek w/me
While I was at work, lolmom gave the kitten a bottle, after which it quieted down and went to sleep. Oliver sniffed it, hissed at it, sniffed it again, and then decided it was okay and settled down to watch it. (Due to his childhood on the mean streets of Carthage, Tennessee, Oliver is afraid of cats.) And lolmom started calling around to see if anyone could take it in.
The Humane Society in our county, while a no-kill shelter, is not accepting new cats and kittens due to overload. Lost, lolmom called the vet, who suggested she try PAAWS, who told her that there was nobody fostering kittens right now but that they did know a guy named Rob...
Rob is a terribly sweet guy, and he and his equally sweet wife had a cat who had had a litter. The kittens were weaned and given to homes, but the momcat still had milk and seemed pretty uncomfortable, so lolmom drove over to their place to drop the kitten off. The momcat sniffed and licked the kitten, the kitten latched on, and everybody was happy. Lolmom said that she didn't want to impose on them, and that she didn't expect them to find the kitten a home, but if they knew anybody who happened to want a kitten, they were welcome to give the kitten a home; otherwise, we'll take it back when it's weaned. (To be honest, if its eyes had been open, I would have thrown down on keeping it, but it's not fair to a kitten that tiny; we couldn't have been home to give it a bottle as regularly as it needed.)
So maybe we're getting a friend for Oliver. (Or, more likely, a friend for us.) We'll see. It'll be at least a month before the kitten will be weaned, so I'm not worried; either way, I hope the kitten gets a long and happy life indoors, fed and petted on demand, before dying of old age. ♥
Other stuff: I went swimming yesterday and am incredibly sore, though I choose to see that as a good thing. Also, Continuing Adventures of Passive-Aggressive Man, to be featured at a later date.
Except Oliver doesn't yip. He howls when he gets stuck in the basement, and normally he just kind of mumbles; he doesn't even really meow the way most cats do. He trills to say Hi (and also to say HELLO FRIEND PLAY PLAY PLAY! GO PLAY FRIEND PLAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY~), but that's pretty much it. We have feral cats who run around fighting and making love in our yard; I figured the noise was probably coming from outside.
So I staggered downstairs and realized, as I drew closer to the source of the odd yipping, that it was coming from inside the house. I had just woken up and didn't have my glasses on, so as I meandered into the kitchen, my first thought was, Why is lolmom torturing that rat? Concerned about both the rat's safety and lolmom's personality apparently doing a 180, I drew closer.
The small yipping creature was not a rat. It was a very tiny kitten, so tiny in fact that the fur had not grown in on its paws yet and its eyes weren't even open. It can't have been more than two weeks old or so, if that. The size difference between it and Oliver was kind of amazing; Oliver is still technically a kitten, though he's nearly grown (we think he was born in August or September), and he's not a big cat as such things go, but next to this kitten, he was huge.
The din in our kitchen began to resemble this:
Kitten: I WANT MY MOMMY I WANT MY LITTERMATES I AM HUNGRY AND I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING THIS IS ALL VERY CONFUSING SOMEBODY HELP
Oliver: HELLO FRIEND! WHY HAPPENING? MAKE STOP
Lolmom: lol hi i haz dun sthg v. foolish plz u holdz kitteh nau :D
Kitten: I DO NOT WANT TO BE HELD I WANT MY MOMMY I AM HUNGRY I AM HUNGRY I AM HUNGRY WHY ARE YOU STARVING ME
Oliver: WHY HAPPENING? MAKE STOP FRIEND
l33: ...Yes. You have done something very foolish. (At this point, I was trying to hold the kitten without squishing its tiny ribcage while it flailed helplessly around on the counter, and also without allowing it to plummet over the edge. This was a two-hand endeavor, and the kitten was unhappy all around.)
The story, as I got it out of lolmom, went something like this: There was a family of feral cats living near the factory where lolmom works, too close to the road where the semis come up for safety. The mother cat had moved the other kittens out of the way, but over a period of four hours, failed to come back for this kitten, either because she smelled people or because she met her fate and could not return. The co-worker's idea was to put it in a box and leave it at the Humane Society's doorstep, which wasn't evil so much as thoughtless (hello, it's a baby. Its eyes aren't even open yet). So the kitten came home with lolmom, who was trying to get it to take some milk from a damp rag; when this proved fruitless, she decided to go to Lol-Mart for a syringe.
l33: They sell kitten bottles, Mom. And formula.
Lolmom: lol rly?
l33: Yep. In the pet section.
Lolmom: lol du u think i shud taek kitteh w/me?
l33: Well, I don't think Oliver would hurt him, but he could fall off the counter. I'm not going to be here when you get back, so I won't be able to watch him.
Lolmom: ...lol ya, wil taek w/me
While I was at work, lolmom gave the kitten a bottle, after which it quieted down and went to sleep. Oliver sniffed it, hissed at it, sniffed it again, and then decided it was okay and settled down to watch it. (Due to his childhood on the mean streets of Carthage, Tennessee, Oliver is afraid of cats.) And lolmom started calling around to see if anyone could take it in.
The Humane Society in our county, while a no-kill shelter, is not accepting new cats and kittens due to overload. Lost, lolmom called the vet, who suggested she try PAAWS, who told her that there was nobody fostering kittens right now but that they did know a guy named Rob...
Rob is a terribly sweet guy, and he and his equally sweet wife had a cat who had had a litter. The kittens were weaned and given to homes, but the momcat still had milk and seemed pretty uncomfortable, so lolmom drove over to their place to drop the kitten off. The momcat sniffed and licked the kitten, the kitten latched on, and everybody was happy. Lolmom said that she didn't want to impose on them, and that she didn't expect them to find the kitten a home, but if they knew anybody who happened to want a kitten, they were welcome to give the kitten a home; otherwise, we'll take it back when it's weaned. (To be honest, if its eyes had been open, I would have thrown down on keeping it, but it's not fair to a kitten that tiny; we couldn't have been home to give it a bottle as regularly as it needed.)
So maybe we're getting a friend for Oliver. (Or, more likely, a friend for us.) We'll see. It'll be at least a month before the kitten will be weaned, so I'm not worried; either way, I hope the kitten gets a long and happy life indoors, fed and petted on demand, before dying of old age. ♥
Other stuff: I went swimming yesterday and am incredibly sore, though I choose to see that as a good thing. Also, Continuing Adventures of Passive-Aggressive Man, to be featured at a later date.