Mmmm, Delicious Foods
I stole this meme from pixelation. Eventually, I plan to steal her iPhone and possibly her IMMORTAL SOUL (assuming she has one) as well, but I'm starting with memes to lull her into a false sense of security.
So, the exciting rules:
1.) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2.) Bold all the items you've eaten.
3.) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
As you may recall, I live in southern Indiana and am, to all intents and purposes, from here. This explains some of my reactions to some of this stuff.
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare - Does picking at raw ground beef count? Because seriously, even though I know about E. coli, I can't keep my (clean) hands out of that stuff.
5. Crocodile - No. But I have eaten alligator. :D
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht - First off, the word is transliterated "borshch". Second off, YES. OMG YES YES YES YES YES. If you just look at the words "beet soup", it sounds like the most vile slop, but it really isn't. I was a convert at university due to hanging around with the Russian department during my first stint there. It is so good. I have, alas, never been able to replicate the stuff I got from the Russians at home. FOR GOD'S SAKE DO NOT BUY THE CANNED SHIT THAT YOU SEE IN THE SUPERMARKET (or that you see in the supermarket if you live in eastern Pennsylvania, which is one of the places where I grew up).
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari - Mmm, calamari.
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich - Is there a kid in America who hasn't had one? Besides duokinneas, I mean.
14. Aloo gobi.
15. Hot dog from a street cart - I think this is mandatory if you visit Philly or DC.
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes - I think this would depend on the fruit and the winery. Boon's Farm, obviously, would suck, unless you're a teenaged boy and you're trying to get teenaged girls drunk enough to lay you, or at least take their shirts off.
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream - Edy's puts out a black-walnut ice cream as well, for those of you interested in that sort of thing.
21. Heirloom tomatoes - I was 8 or 9. It was the first time I realized that tomatoes don't all taste the same.
22. Fresh wild berries - We used to have blackberries growing in the wooded area behind the house when we lived in Pennsylvania. We also had very miniature strawberries that grew intermittently on our lawn in Maryland.
23. Foie gras - This is more or less the only way I'll eat liver. H says raw liver is good.
24. Rice and beans - Overrated. I may still be bitter because of X-chan's sordid vegetarian past.
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche - I've had dulce de leche-flavored ice cream. Does that count? :D
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - I have eaten clam chowder and also sourdough bread, but not together.
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut - I'm German. On both sides. What did you expect?
35. Root beer float - This reminds me of The Most Ill-Advised Diet Food Idea Ever, but some of you may be eating, so I won't gross you out. Anyway, yes. A&W used to be a big thing in southern Indiana, and it's even better with a breaded pork tenderloin sandwich. ♥
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - Since when are cigars food? I quit smoking anyway. I have however consumed cognac, and it's all right.
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat - Never had it, but this totally reminds me of a story.
42. Whole insects - In the cold light of day, I would say no, this is something I would never eat. If I had about five of you goading me into it and insulting my masculinity, I'd probably go for it.
43. Phaal
44. Goat's milk - Goat cheese is good, so why not goat's milk?
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more - My father may arguably have had one of these somewhere in our vast liquor cabinet that we never touch, but I'm a beer drinker and price doesn't imply quality. Also, the snob appeal makes me bristle ('cause I'm true to my Marxist roots); it's the same kind of mindset that leads people to order the most expensive wine in the house at upscale restaurants and then make a big show of sending it back. (Ladies: If your date does this, he is probably a Grade-A asshole and should not be given the privilege of a second date.)
46. Fugu - Well, I've got to die of something. I'm not sure if this is something I would never, ever eat, since the frisson of mortal danger does provide a certain appeal, but I'm also not keen on the idea of being dead from fish.
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel - Proof that the gods love us and want us to be happy.
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - DONUT BANK FOREVER. The Donut Bank is your fatty pastry One True God, and you should make a pilgrimage to the Evansville area for the express purpose of having a donut there.
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear - I've never had the fruit itself, but when we lived in Texas, my mother went to a class and learned how to make jam from it. The jam itself was really good, but once it sat in the fridge for a while, it became so tough and elastic--for lack of better descriptors--that you could build better forearms ten ways by trying to scoop out enough to put on your toast.
52. Umeboshi - I am not fond of pickles, Japanese or Western. H told me this story about his misspent youth which entailed tsukemono and I was put straight off it.
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal - Yeah, whatever. If you want to hate fast food, consider a career in abstracting.
56. Spaetzle - Probably, but I can't remember when or where or under what circumstances.
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV - Mmmm, beeeeer.
59. Poutine - Since I met carlosoliveira, this is now the Holy Grail of Crap Eating as far as I'm concerned.
60. Carob chips - Fortunately, augustuscaesar and I are in two different countries, so I can enjoy carob without the inconvenience of Tara trying to beat me up and take my carob. :D
61. S'mores - They remind me of a really Lord of the Flies bonfire I attended at university. Actually, all of the bonfires I've been to were really Lord of the Flies in some ways, but that's half the fun.
62. Sweetbreads - I can't think of sweetbreads without remembering that scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off where Matthew Broderick says, "We ate pancreas."
63. Kaolin - Uh, I don't think that's food.
64. Currywurst
65. Durian - I hear you're not supposed to consume it with alcohol because the durian reacts badly to it and KILLS YOU.
66. Frogs' legs - Fuck YES. Preferably hot and fresh from the fryer, with hushpuppies, at the Fall Festival.
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - Funnel cake is awesome. Try some today! This message brought to you by the Council for Fried Shit.
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho - As a kid, I didn't like it, but now that I'm a Mature and Sophisticated Adult who will eat more than three kinds of vegetables, I do. Julia Child has a recipe for a gazpacho with black beans which I've wanted to try for a while but never got to.
72. Caviar and blini - I love the way caviar tastes. I do NOT love the price tag. The last time I had it was when I was 19, thoughtfully subsidized by the Department of Slavic Languages and Literatures, and I practically had to defeat actual Russians in hand-to-hand combat to even get near it.
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill - No, sorry. Asphalt doesn't add a delightful flavor.
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie - Tastykakes totally pwnz Hostess. BUTTERSCOTCH KRIMPETS 4 LYF.
78. Snail - They look like fat crawling bags of mucus, but they cook up good with lemon and garlic and wine. :D
79. Lapsang souchong - Smoky and complex and tasty.
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky - I think every American wannabe otaku has consumed this at some point or another. I like Pocky okay, but it's not THE CENTER OF MY SNACKY UNIVERSE. The name is unfortunate, though.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant - Uh, this isn't really a FOOD, as the person Pixel stole this meme from pointed out.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash - Goulash pwnz burgoo. Kentucky can go sit on it, because burgoo is vile.
88. Flowers both candied and not - As children, X-chan and I heard you could eat nasturtiums, which is true, but I think we found the actual taste sensation disappointing. It might not go badly in a salad now that I'm grown, though.
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam - Lee don't eat no "meaty" shit what came out of no can. I mean, there's an entire GenCon competition built around sculpting things from Spam (cf. the_dark_snack's recent commentary on beldar's heartbreaking work of staggering artistic genius), so I can't take it seriously as a foodstuff.
92. Soft shell crab - I grew up in Maryland. You'd be more surprised if I hadn't had one. To this day, I won't eat crab cakes west of Maryland because they don't taste right. Plus, they give you this kickass wooden mallet which is ostensibly for cracking the shell but which you can also use to terrorize your dining partner(s). Not, of course, that I advocate that sort of thing.
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish - This is the only fresh, local fish you can get in Indiana. Here, we call it "fiddlers" and deep-fry it and serve it with carbohydrates, which is almost the only way it's palatable.
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox - Dude, you forgot the cream cheese, which is a quintessential part of the whole operation. Also, it is even better on a salt bagel.
97. Lobster Thermidor - Lobster yes, Thermidor no.
98. Polenta - Overrated.
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
In ttly unrelated news, I should probably quit looking stuff up on Google and go to bed.
So, the exciting rules:
1.) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2.) Bold all the items you've eaten.
3.) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
As you may recall, I live in southern Indiana and am, to all intents and purposes, from here. This explains some of my reactions to some of this stuff.
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare - Does picking at raw ground beef count? Because seriously, even though I know about E. coli, I can't keep my (clean) hands out of that stuff.
5. Crocodile - No. But I have eaten alligator. :D
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht - First off, the word is transliterated "borshch". Second off, YES. OMG YES YES YES YES YES. If you just look at the words "beet soup", it sounds like the most vile slop, but it really isn't. I was a convert at university due to hanging around with the Russian department during my first stint there. It is so good. I have, alas, never been able to replicate the stuff I got from the Russians at home. FOR GOD'S SAKE DO NOT BUY THE CANNED SHIT THAT YOU SEE IN THE SUPERMARKET (or that you see in the supermarket if you live in eastern Pennsylvania, which is one of the places where I grew up).
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari - Mmm, calamari.
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich - Is there a kid in America who hasn't had one? Besides duokinneas, I mean.
14. Aloo gobi.
15. Hot dog from a street cart - I think this is mandatory if you visit Philly or DC.
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes - I think this would depend on the fruit and the winery. Boon's Farm, obviously, would suck, unless you're a teenaged boy and you're trying to get teenaged girls drunk enough to lay you, or at least take their shirts off.
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream - Edy's puts out a black-walnut ice cream as well, for those of you interested in that sort of thing.
21. Heirloom tomatoes - I was 8 or 9. It was the first time I realized that tomatoes don't all taste the same.
22. Fresh wild berries - We used to have blackberries growing in the wooded area behind the house when we lived in Pennsylvania. We also had very miniature strawberries that grew intermittently on our lawn in Maryland.
23. Foie gras - This is more or less the only way I'll eat liver. H says raw liver is good.
24. Rice and beans - Overrated. I may still be bitter because of X-chan's sordid vegetarian past.
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche - I've had dulce de leche-flavored ice cream. Does that count? :D
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - I have eaten clam chowder and also sourdough bread, but not together.
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut - I'm German. On both sides. What did you expect?
35. Root beer float - This reminds me of The Most Ill-Advised Diet Food Idea Ever, but some of you may be eating, so I won't gross you out. Anyway, yes. A&W used to be a big thing in southern Indiana, and it's even better with a breaded pork tenderloin sandwich. ♥
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - Since when are cigars food? I quit smoking anyway. I have however consumed cognac, and it's all right.
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat - Never had it, but this totally reminds me of a story.
42. Whole insects - In the cold light of day, I would say no, this is something I would never eat. If I had about five of you goading me into it and insulting my masculinity, I'd probably go for it.
43. Phaal
44. Goat's milk - Goat cheese is good, so why not goat's milk?
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more - My father may arguably have had one of these somewhere in our vast liquor cabinet that we never touch, but I'm a beer drinker and price doesn't imply quality. Also, the snob appeal makes me bristle ('cause I'm true to my Marxist roots); it's the same kind of mindset that leads people to order the most expensive wine in the house at upscale restaurants and then make a big show of sending it back. (Ladies: If your date does this, he is probably a Grade-A asshole and should not be given the privilege of a second date.)
46. Fugu - Well, I've got to die of something. I'm not sure if this is something I would never, ever eat, since the frisson of mortal danger does provide a certain appeal, but I'm also not keen on the idea of being dead from fish.
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel - Proof that the gods love us and want us to be happy.
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - DONUT BANK FOREVER. The Donut Bank is your fatty pastry One True God, and you should make a pilgrimage to the Evansville area for the express purpose of having a donut there.
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear - I've never had the fruit itself, but when we lived in Texas, my mother went to a class and learned how to make jam from it. The jam itself was really good, but once it sat in the fridge for a while, it became so tough and elastic--for lack of better descriptors--that you could build better forearms ten ways by trying to scoop out enough to put on your toast.
52. Umeboshi - I am not fond of pickles, Japanese or Western. H told me this story about his misspent youth which entailed tsukemono and I was put straight off it.
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal - Yeah, whatever. If you want to hate fast food, consider a career in abstracting.
56. Spaetzle - Probably, but I can't remember when or where or under what circumstances.
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV - Mmmm, beeeeer.
59. Poutine - Since I met carlosoliveira, this is now the Holy Grail of Crap Eating as far as I'm concerned.
60. Carob chips - Fortunately, augustuscaesar and I are in two different countries, so I can enjoy carob without the inconvenience of Tara trying to beat me up and take my carob. :D
61. S'mores - They remind me of a really Lord of the Flies bonfire I attended at university. Actually, all of the bonfires I've been to were really Lord of the Flies in some ways, but that's half the fun.
62. Sweetbreads - I can't think of sweetbreads without remembering that scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off where Matthew Broderick says, "We ate pancreas."
63. Kaolin - Uh, I don't think that's food.
64. Currywurst
65. Durian - I hear you're not supposed to consume it with alcohol because the durian reacts badly to it and KILLS YOU.
66. Frogs' legs - Fuck YES. Preferably hot and fresh from the fryer, with hushpuppies, at the Fall Festival.
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - Funnel cake is awesome. Try some today! This message brought to you by the Council for Fried Shit.
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho - As a kid, I didn't like it, but now that I'm a Mature and Sophisticated Adult who will eat more than three kinds of vegetables, I do. Julia Child has a recipe for a gazpacho with black beans which I've wanted to try for a while but never got to.
72. Caviar and blini - I love the way caviar tastes. I do NOT love the price tag. The last time I had it was when I was 19, thoughtfully subsidized by the Department of Slavic Languages and Literatures, and I practically had to defeat actual Russians in hand-to-hand combat to even get near it.
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill - No, sorry. Asphalt doesn't add a delightful flavor.
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie - Tastykakes totally pwnz Hostess. BUTTERSCOTCH KRIMPETS 4 LYF.
78. Snail - They look like fat crawling bags of mucus, but they cook up good with lemon and garlic and wine. :D
79. Lapsang souchong - Smoky and complex and tasty.
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky - I think every American wannabe otaku has consumed this at some point or another. I like Pocky okay, but it's not THE CENTER OF MY SNACKY UNIVERSE. The name is unfortunate, though.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant - Uh, this isn't really a FOOD, as the person Pixel stole this meme from pointed out.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash - Goulash pwnz burgoo. Kentucky can go sit on it, because burgoo is vile.
88. Flowers both candied and not - As children, X-chan and I heard you could eat nasturtiums, which is true, but I think we found the actual taste sensation disappointing. It might not go badly in a salad now that I'm grown, though.
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam - Lee don't eat no "meaty" shit what came out of no can. I mean, there's an entire GenCon competition built around sculpting things from Spam (cf. the_dark_snack's recent commentary on beldar's heartbreaking work of staggering artistic genius), so I can't take it seriously as a foodstuff.
92. Soft shell crab - I grew up in Maryland. You'd be more surprised if I hadn't had one. To this day, I won't eat crab cakes west of Maryland because they don't taste right. Plus, they give you this kickass wooden mallet which is ostensibly for cracking the shell but which you can also use to terrorize your dining partner(s). Not, of course, that I advocate that sort of thing.
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish - This is the only fresh, local fish you can get in Indiana. Here, we call it "fiddlers" and deep-fry it and serve it with carbohydrates, which is almost the only way it's palatable.
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox - Dude, you forgot the cream cheese, which is a quintessential part of the whole operation. Also, it is even better on a salt bagel.
97. Lobster Thermidor - Lobster yes, Thermidor no.
98. Polenta - Overrated.
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
In ttly unrelated news, I should probably quit looking stuff up on Google and go to bed.