Grownups Never Get To Have Any Fun
Preliminary announcement: My domain registration just expired, so the proverbial e-mail wasn't working for a bit in there. I just renewed it and it's now back up and running. If you tried to e-mail me, or wonder why I didn't respond to your comments, that's the deal.
For God knows what reason, I keep getting these Fingerhut catalogues in the mail. I don't buy things from Fingerhut. I have never bought anything from Fingerhut, and yet they arrive regularly, every two or three months, with a biohazard orange cover and giant letters informing me that THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST CATALOGUE, [Lee's Full Name]. If I never hear from them again, I'll be surprised.
Anyway, Fingerhut wants me to take out a credit account with them (like I don't have enough credit cards I'm trying to pay off), which would be fair enough if a.) I wanted any more debt, and b.) Fingerhut actually sold anything I really want. Except I was surfing through it last night, just to make sure there wasn't anything I really wanted, and there was the greatest backyard toy EVAR right there.
Dude. AN INFLATABLE PIRATE SHIP. WITH GUNS THAT SHOOT WATER. AND AN INFLATABLE TREASURE CHEST, AND INFLATABLE PIRATE HATS.
Tragically, however, it does not seem to have been made for people the size of dethorats and me, though treyvadi could possibly still pull it off. Also, if X-chan were here with her ¾ ton pickup, we could put it in the bed and drive around, pillaging shiny new SUVs at red lights just for the hell of it. Because nothing makes yuppie scum madder than having to try and reason with you while you're wearing an inflatable pirate hat, especially if you’ve already got at least 15 or 20 IQ points on them.
We'll have to do that sometime, just as soon as I get the other credit cards paid off.
(PSA: Apparently, real piracy is Srs Bsns. Don't try this at home, kids! This has been Lee's Half-Baked Moment of Peripheral Civic Duty.)
For God knows what reason, I keep getting these Fingerhut catalogues in the mail. I don't buy things from Fingerhut. I have never bought anything from Fingerhut, and yet they arrive regularly, every two or three months, with a biohazard orange cover and giant letters informing me that THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST CATALOGUE, [Lee's Full Name]. If I never hear from them again, I'll be surprised.
Anyway, Fingerhut wants me to take out a credit account with them (like I don't have enough credit cards I'm trying to pay off), which would be fair enough if a.) I wanted any more debt, and b.) Fingerhut actually sold anything I really want. Except I was surfing through it last night, just to make sure there wasn't anything I really wanted, and there was the greatest backyard toy EVAR right there.
Dude. AN INFLATABLE PIRATE SHIP. WITH GUNS THAT SHOOT WATER. AND AN INFLATABLE TREASURE CHEST, AND INFLATABLE PIRATE HATS.
Tragically, however, it does not seem to have been made for people the size of dethorats and me, though treyvadi could possibly still pull it off. Also, if X-chan were here with her ¾ ton pickup, we could put it in the bed and drive around, pillaging shiny new SUVs at red lights just for the hell of it. Because nothing makes yuppie scum madder than having to try and reason with you while you're wearing an inflatable pirate hat, especially if you’ve already got at least 15 or 20 IQ points on them.
We'll have to do that sometime, just as soon as I get the other credit cards paid off.
(PSA: Apparently, real piracy is Srs Bsns. Don't try this at home, kids! This has been Lee's Half-Baked Moment of Peripheral Civic Duty.)