The Great Cell Phone Caper

[sinecure]

Title: The Great Cell Phone Caper (5/5)
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Jeff/Annie, Chang (misc. characters make small appearances)
Rating: PG-13 (for language mostly)
Word Count: 2,925
Genre: Humor, romance, smut, slight angst
Spoilers: Early season 3, before the hiatus.
Summary: Annie's cell phone gets locked away and she plans a break in to go get it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community and I make no money off of it.
A/N: So, the Community Big Bang is here! This is my entry, through much blood, sweat, tears, and whinging.
A/N 2: Big, huge thanks to na_thalia for the beta--all mistakes are mine, don't blame her--and teruel_a_witch for the support and shoulder to whinge on.


CHAPTER 5

Jeff pulled up alongside the street he'd parked on earlier in the evening. God, just an hour and a half ago, but so much had happened since then, so many things, that he felt like a billion years had passed.

"Looks clear." Jeff turned toward her, arm on the back of his seat. "I'll wait here, just in case Chang's looking out the window. Keep to the shadows and he shouldn't be able to see you."

"Right. Stealthy is still my middle name."

"Pretty sure it's not." His hand dropped to her hair, cupping the back of her head. Leaning forward, he brought her closer as she moved forward. "Be careful." Eyes on her mouth, he pressed a firm kiss there. Then to her forehead. His hand slid down to her cheek; he definitely couldn't control himself.

His hand just kept touching her wherever it wanted to.

"Hurry," he murmured. "The sooner we're done here, the faster we can--"

"Sex, sex, sex. Is that all you think about?" But she was smiling, fingers absently drawing circles on his thigh.

"When it comes to you? Actually, no."

Her whole face transformed into the look she got when he got it right. "Aww."

"Go," he mumbled, sitting back in his seat, half afraid he was blushing.

"Softy." She smiled, yanked open the door and got out, quietly shutting it behind her like she expected Chang to suddenly appear.

*~*~*~*~*

Crouching down behind Jeff's car, Annie peered around, checking out the street, the lot, then the school. Everything was silent and still.

Too still.

Glancing back at Jeff, she huffed when he rolled his eyes at her and relaxed in his seat, folding his hands under his head and leaning back. Whatever. She was just being cautious. Still, she felt kind of stupid, so she straightened--most of the way--and ran the distance between Jeff's car and her own.

She was parked in the shadows of the back part of the lot, half-hidden behind a bush and a tree. She'd hoped to get out with no one the wiser, but then Jeff had shown up and that went out the window... or, in the window and into the dean's office.

Annie was convinced that Chang had a thing for Jeff. He seemed to delight in either befriending or hating Jeff. It was always either/or with those two.

Tonight, Chang had apparently chosen hate.

The taunts he'd thrown their way hadn't been revelations, exactly, but hearing them spoken aloud by someone else, someone almost neutral in their circle, had been a weird experience.

Ducking down behind her car, she eyed the school again. Nothing was moving as far as she could see.

Yanking her keys free from her body suit, she quickly circled around to the--

"Aha!"

Annie jerked back with a hand to her chest, staring at Chang, who was crouched on the other side of her car like a... a... sigh. A tiger. El Tigre. "Chang! What-- wh-- uh. Why are you hiding back there?"

Chang straightened up and strode toward her, staring at her, eyes narrowing. "As if you don't know."

"Um, I don't. I just came to..." Uh-oh, she felt a ramble coming on. "To pick up my car. I left it here earlier. We just came back to get it. Jeff took me home." She cursed her inability to think quickly under pressure.

Chang stared at her suspiciously. "Why would he do that? He never took me home. Even when I was living with him."

"To have sex! We had sex." She nodded a few times, knowing she was overselling it, but unable to stop herself.

Chang moved closer as Jeff pulled toward the lot entrance, heading for them.

Was-- ew!

Chang was sniffing her!

Ew, ew, ew!

"What's with the skintight, black outfit then, Annie? Huh? You look suspiciously like you're dressed to break into somewhere. Like, say, the school?"

Crap. "Role playing!" She glanced down at herself, feeling naked under his observant eye. Stretching the black material away from her hip, then her stomach, she shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, Jeff, uh, he loves... Catwoman." Aha. She could think under pressure just fine, thankyouverymuch! "Yeah. He, uh--"

"Right." Chang wasn't buying it. And Jeff was almost there. If he got there and Chang questioned him, he could ruin her story and their entire quest would've been for nothing. Chang looked skeptically at her, eyeing her up and down.

"Yeah. Really. Just like I love it when, um, Jeff dresses up as... as, um, a cowboy."

Chang rolled his eyes. "Jeff's in spurs more than the dean Chang-s outfits."

"Yeah," she laughed breathlessly, trying to convey arousal, but she knew it was coming off more like spaz. "Whoo! I can barely keep my hands off of him when he does. Sexy."

Jeff's car pulled up beside them in the aisle. He didn't bother to park in a space. Opening the door, he unfolded himself from his prized Lexus and joined them. "Chang."

"Tex."

Jeff stared at Chang. "Okay."

Annie motioned for him to just go along with it, but it might've come off more like a jerking-off motion. Which wouldn't be the first time.

Jeff's eyes widened at her and he had to drag them from her to Chang. "Are you helping her to her car? That's sweet. But I've got it."

"No, I'm interrogating a prisoner, idiot."

"No, you're not." Shoving his hands into his jean pockets, he stared Chang down. "What's the problem now? We just came to get Annie's car, which she left here earlier. Is there a law against that? The answer you're searching for, by the way, would be no."

Chang's suspicious gaze stayed squarely on Jeff as he stalked toward him, passing Annie with a 'stay there' motion. "Why'd you give her a ride, Jeff, huh?"

Not staying where he'd motioned her to, Annie opened her mouth to answer, but Chang cut her off. "Not you, B. of A.. Jeff."

"Really not your business."

"Answer the question, Winger."

Annie glared at him, willing him to just answer the question so they could get out of there and be done with the whole night.

Jeff rolled his eyes and sighed. "We went to my place." His eyes darted to Annie's and she nodded almost imperceptibly, biting her lip and making the universal sign for sex; pointer finger through circled fingers. "To have sex."

"Yeah, she told me about your freaky-deaky sex games. Tell me, Jeff, who did Annie role play as? And if you get this wrong, I'm so going to arrest you." He stepped closer, trying to stare Jeff down, but, being a few feet shorter, it was impossible. "Who, Jeff?"

Annie held a hand up like a claw and mouthed a meow. Chang snapped his head around and she turned it into a wide yawn. "Ohh, sorry. Tired. Jeff really wore me out. I could use a catnap."

Jeff smirked and relaxed under her praise, false though it was. His ego, god. "Well, maybe if you stopped dressing like a... cat... woman?"

She nodded enthusiastically while still managing to roll her eyes.

"Ugh! That was a gimme. But this one, Jeff..." Chang pointed at Jeff's chest, punctuating each word with a poke of his finger. "Why aren't you wearing your costume?"

"Ah, well, she can't keep her hands off of me when I do." He shrugged nonchalantly. "And I needed to drive."

Annie held her hands up like pistols, rolling her eyes at his explanation. Sure, make her sound like a nympho. Tipping an imaginary hat, she finger-shot Chang.

Jeff shrugged, a swagger somehow in his stance. Hard to do. "We've gone through four cowboy outfits already. Tears 'em off, every time."

Chang looked a little more willing to believe them and Annie felt guilty. Still, it was Chang. "Not on my couch," Chang half-whispered, sounding betrayed and hurt at the very thought of them defiling his former bed. Um.

"Oh, definitely. On my couch. My bed. My kitchen counter. My table."

Chang gasped. "We ate there. And you two defiled it? I thought... I thought we meant something, Jeff."

"Uh, you sawed the legs off my tables. You put shrimp in my bathtub. And I woke up one morning to find a stuffed tiger sitting on the end of my bed. Staring at me."

"He was protecting you!"

"He was watching me sleep!" Jeff paused, shaking his head as if he'd said something stupid. "Ugh. Look. Chang. Annie's getting her car and you're going to let us leave here."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you have no reason to stop us."

"Try again."

"Fine. Because I have pictures of you. Playing with your light saber."

"Ew!" Annie squealed, moving away from both of them.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "His flashlight, Annie." He stared at her. "Seriously?"

"I don't know!"

Jeff slowly dragged his gaze from her, turning to face Chang down. "Well?"

"Those old things?" he said dismissively, waving his hand impatiently with a snort. "I posted those on YouTube last year, Winger. Two-hundred-thousand hits." He lunged his upper body at Jeff, arms back, all attitude. "Booyah, bitch."

Jeff blinked at Chang, darting his eyes to Annie briefly with a look that told her he was at a loss. "Annie, get your car. Chang, get out of the way."

"Or what?" Chang stepped into Jeff's personal space, staring darkly up at him. "What are you going to do, Jeff? Sic your girlfriend on me--"

"He doesn't have to," Annie whispered, sidling up behind him and grabbing him by the waist. Chang went still, eyes wide, not even daring to breathe. "You never should've told me about your ticklish spots. Now. Let us go or I attack."

"Uhh..."

Annie didn't bother looking at Jeff. "First year, before you busted the door down to save me. Chang and I had a chat." She straightened her curled fingers into Chang's side for a second, making him wince and draw in a deep, breathy gasp. "We don't want to stand here all night and argue with you. We just came for my car. Now we're going back to Jeff's place to have a lot of sex. All over the couch and the floor and his bed and the wall and--"

"Ugh! I don't care!" Chang attempted to move out of her grip, but she tightened her hands around him. "Someone broke into the school, I'm just trying to find him." His eyes darted behind him. "Or her."

"Wasn't us."

"Not us."

"Sex," Annie repeated.

"Lots of sex."

"You know, Annie's outfit has this opening--"

"Jeff!" She glared hard at him, shaking her head as if to ask him what the hell he was doing. "Not important."

"Not to you maybe. But--"

"Oh, my god, will you two shut up?" Chang jerked out of Annie's grip and turned to face them, pointing from one to the other. "I'm going to find out who it was, no matter what. Got that? Got. That? Now, go. Leave me be. You're free to go... for now! I have an investigation to conduct."

He stomped off, leaving them behind.

Annie grinned at Jeff and grabbed his arm, jumping up and down excitedly. "He bought it," she squealed in a low whisper.

Chang turned so suddenly that she dropped down on Jeff's foot. Jeff grinned stiffly and kissed Annie, ushering her to her car.

"Go, before he changes his mind."

"Don't you mean 'Changs his mind?" Annie bit her lip, eyes shining with mirth.

"No. I really, really don't."

She snickered, feeling a weight lift off of her chest. The night was finally over.

*~*~*~*~*

"Whoa." Jeff halted Annie as they approached the library. A team in jumpsuits crossed in front of him and Annie, doing a power walk. Jeff recognized a few of them. "Leonard! What's going on?"

Leonard stopped and looked down his nose at Jeff. "We have a crime to solve, Winger. We finally get to put our Dimensions in Crime Texts studies to practical use!" He hurried after the rest of the group, Jeff and Annie following behind.

"Pop-pop!"

Jeff gave Magnitude a halfhearted nod and smile.

"Jeff," Annie said in a low, nervous voice, grabbing his arm. "They have the vents blocked off!"

"I can see that."

There were huge paper signs taped above the vents with sloppy printing on them written in Sharpie:

Dusting for fingerprints! Stay out!

"Oh. Oh." She grabbed his arm and dragged him to the side, wide eyes watching Leonard, Garrett, and Magnitude disappear into the vents. "They're dusting for fingerprints," she hissed, squeezing his arm, fingernails digging into his skin, even over his shirt. "Jeff, they're going to find--"

"You wore gloves." He turned her head to face him, dragging her attention from the team disappearing inside amid grunts and groans.

Her hands twisted in front of her, fingers pulling and tugging at one another. "But you didn't!"

"I was in there at the beginning of the year, remember? My prints are all over those vents for all they know. Chang can't prove otherwise, so relax, Annie. Plus, it's Chang." He glanced past her at the group inside the study room. "We're fine. No one will ever know we were here. And, I think we have worse things to worry about."

Stopping in front of the double doors, they stood side-by-side, looking in at their friends.

Annie swallowed thickly past the lump in her throat. "Okay... okay. So. I guess there's nothing left to do except go in and tell them."

"Yeah."

She nodded decisively, then couldn't stop. "Tell them that we're now... a couple." She tossed him a look at his raised brow. "Or whatever. That we're dating."

"Are we?"

"Well!" She threw her arms out in frustration. "I don't know what to say or call us or--"

"Deep breaths, Annie." He took her by her shoulders and shook her a little, amusement lighting his eyes. "Breathe a little."

"I can't help it, Jeff. What happened last night was so quick and we never talked about it. We just... went home and had more sex! All over your apartment. And--"

"Annie. We'll just say we're lovers. That we're going out." Now he looked uncertain. "Is that juvenile? That sounds juvenile."

"Maybe because you still feel like you're robbing the cradle and I'm the giant little baby in the crib that you just stole and this is never going to work!" She turned and stormed off, heading toward the exit, but Jeff's hand grasped hers, halting her.

"Annie." He pulled her aside, out of the way of three other students. "That doesn't even make any sense."

She dropped her head to his shoulder with a groan. "I know. I'm just nervous. And scared. Shirley's going to hate me."

"Shirley won't hate you. If she hates anyone, it'll be me." He grinned winningly. "But she won't last long against this." He gestured to his face, his smile. "I mean, come on."

Annie rolled her eyes, but relaxed some. She was freaking out over nothing. Well, next to nothing. Well, no, it was a lot of something, because their friends were really judgmental and-- Britta! Britta would accuse her of stealing another one of her boyfriends just like Vaughn and then she'd probably stop talking to her.

"Stop thinking so much." He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and then stood back a respectable distance. "Relax, deep breaths, and let's just go in there and get it over with."

Nodding repeatedly, she drew in breath after breath, having to slow down before she hyperventilated. "Okay. Let's do this."

Jeff took her hand, took a deep breath, and they headed in--

"Wait!" Annie jerked him to a stop, pulling him further aside. "Cowbell?"

Jeff chuckled and scratched his jaw. "It's a Saturday Night Live sketch."

She shook her head, still not clear. "Huh?"

"Uh, Christopher Walken, Blue Oyster Cult, Don't Fear the Reaper? He keeps demanding that the band add more cowbell to the song."

"...ohhh kay."

Rolling his eyes, Jeff shifted in place. "It's just something I think to myself when I feel like I'm dealing with too much at once and need to dial it back."

"So, it's happened a total of twice then?" She snickered and rocked on her heels when he lightly pushed her from him.

"Last night, I had a revelation. About you and how I feel about you. And Chang was... annoying and we were trying to escape. We were trapped in a tiny closet with an aphrodisiac. And--"

"Okay, okay. I guess that makes sense. Sort of. Maybe." Taking another deep breath, she kissed him quickly, just a peck, but it helped relax her somewhat. She turned and faced the group once again, noticing Britta turning to glance their way.

"You guys are never going to believe what happened last night," Britta said excitedly, while Shirley practically bounced in her seat.

"Ready for the pouncing of our friends?" Annie whispered out of the side of her mouth.

"Why are you guys holding hands?" Abed asked curiously as only Abed could.

"As I'll ever be," Jeff whispered back.

"Holy. Crap."

"Uhhh, why are you two-- oh, my god!"

"Jeff, come on. You're using Annie as a beard now? That's low."

"Jeffrey Tobias Winger!"

Tightening her hand on his, taking that first relationship step, Annie waited for Jeff to take it with her.

And he did.

THE END