sans.
i masturbated while she slept next to me, the deep sleep of the sick and dying. i just didn't want to have another of those wet dreams. they were coming more and more frequently, nightly emissions. touching myself to the tv test pattern after the channel had signed off. i didn't look at her once, i just kept hearing the steady tone from the tv and with sweaty palms i came inside of a dirty sock. i rolled over to the edge of the bed and felt how far apart i was from everything else at that moment, a piece of skin torn away from the suture. this was something a needle and thread would not fix. i lay awake until she left for work and then i slept inside of my own smile.