it's getting late, gentlemen
saw somethign so beautifully vulgar today, the tragedy and the gorgeousness all intertwined among the lifelines. The nakedness of the accident exposed all the awful truths and brought me to my knees praising the existentialist rapture of the moment. The two cars had split the deer in half, the viscera steaming in the noonday sun. The stomach had exploded and it must have just finished eating because there was nothign but undigested grass inside of it, pulsing the life away right along with its fading heartbeat. It was green and glowing, a bundle of emeralds inside of this beautiful animal. I know it should have had something universal and true wrapped up inside of the whole ordeal, some revelatory piece of information that helps us all live our lives like better people, furthering the whole of humanity in this sacrifice. If i could have just found the words and strung them together. But the moment was selfish, disgustingly so, and i seized on it, pulling the marrow from the experience, the selfish pig that i am. Because it was in that moment that i knew i was alive, only because i had seen somthign die.