Fic: Wax Bullets and Sugar Quills by ballyharnon

[remuslives23]

Title: Wax Bullets and Sugar Quills
Username: ballyharnon
Art: " Now, let's not be hasty" by whitmans_kiss.
Word Count: 3325
Rating: R
Contains: Highlight for warning: a minor background character is coerced to perform sexual favors by a villain, not graphic.
Summary: Two students plan to get up to some innocent fun, but their sweet-shop raid becomes a life-defining adventure.

Comments

[brighty18]

This was truly wonderful. I love how you used the art - particularly Remus’ expression - to tell such a fantastic story. When I first say that particular picture I was struck by Remus and what he might have been saying. He seemed so incredibly Remus, full of dry humor and teasing warmth. You got that down perfectly. It was occurred to me that he was not, necessarily talking to Sirius, but to someone else. And you worked that in perfectly, too. In fact, I really loved how you echoed their posture (Sirius looking at Remus and Remus looking away) at the very beginning, too. That was clever.

And now on to the story itself… Cloaked in shadow, he stared at Remus. The other boy sat in a plush armchair, the twin of Sirius', tucked into the alcove of the window and bathed in its autumn light. He sat still and serene, holding a book but reading the empty spaces. Dude, that is one hell of an effective first line. I’m just saying. And what followed was even better. Your writing is so lovely, so lush and sophisticated, and, as always, a real

[escribo]

The beginning was quite like poetry, quite lovely. I love Something Wicked This Way Comes (love all of Bradbury's books) and I thought you captured the feel of that so well. You also captured a lovely sense of the boys--Sirius' recklessness, Remus' hesitant confidence. The action was good--engaging--and their coming together was nicely done.

[eprime]

I love that book too, and I think this quite had that sort of feel! I really loved their interactions here, dry and funny and so conspiratorial and perfectly in sync. Little details like the scuffle under Honeydukes were so boyish and right here. I really liked this a lot! And the scene when they realize something is off is quite chilling! Poor girl.

[duskblue]

LOL!!!! I loved this!!!!! I loved their little adventure together and the BEST part was when James and Peter came back and they were all disappointed they didn't get to join in on the fun. Fantastic!!!! Very much enjoyed!!

[whitmans_kiss]

I wanted you to know that academia is crushing my soul right now, which is why I've delayed commenting, and I promise you that in a few weeks when all these exams have finished and I can properly read and reread everything, I will leave a comment to rival Brighty's, because, oh, this, this.

It's wonderful. You've taken this thing I'd created and turned it into something gorgeous and true, and I love it to pieces. Thank you. Wow.

♥