ANOTHER UPDATE
So... a bunch of you will be really disappointed in me, but it's all been just really bad timing. But I'm dropping Electronic Music again. I know! I know! But I can pick it up again next year. I have my priorities right now (PCC, other classes) that I've dedicated myself to, that I've already put effort into, and even while sitting in Electronic music class, I felt really out of place. Like, if I wanted to do this, I should have done it earlier; if I really did want this, I'd have enrolled in it in the beginning. But last Thursday, this is what I wrote in class:
2:42pm
you came to the conclusion that YOU DON'T NEED THIS and YOU DON'T WANT THIS EITHER. your heart isnt in it. you actually love the theater for now. who knows if that'll change, if you'll regret not taking this instead. the bottom line is YOUR NATURAL INCLINATION IS TO NOT DEVOTE YOUR TIME, EFFORT, LOVE, CREATIVITY OR ATTENTION to this. you don't love it as much as you thought you did; you're not as good as you thought you were. it may be something nice to say, but so is saying you're a bio major, or saying you go to Berkeley. but those didn't happen, because YOUR HEART WASN'T IN IT. are you just not taking advantage of a great and rare opportunity? maybe.
did you just over-committ yourself to too much? just not set your priorities straight? maybe.
you're just not as talented or knowledgeable as you thought you were.
2:57pm
what about this: you drop 124 this quarter. take every other electronic music prereq and if you decide to, take 125 and 167 for an extra fall quarter. maybe you can take an extra psych class (psych120 - consciousness). SEE IF THIS IS POSSIBLE.
i know some people who'll be very upset when they hear about this. namely Marissa and Monica. the worst though, was telling Gabriel. today, he was even trying to reel me back in, telling me the MIDI keyboard and the samplers aren't even that difficult to master, and that he'd help me w/the assignment due tomorrow. i could have taken advantage of that, but i know i'll want to make it something i'm satisfied with, and not just something i did for the purpose of completing an assignment, which was pretty much all of my work last quarter. and i already have a creative outlet that i'm madly, madly in love with right now, and that's theater.
I don't think I could love PCC/People Power more, (we'll see about next year!). And I couldn't love the cast more. i can actually now say i completely and totally embrace the script (now that i've made some *ahem* changes to my character, teehee). the remarkably productive ADD that we all have, that spark of creativity that emerges when we all get together - it's a drug. i'm just too too lucky to be involved with all of this. and these amazingly, overwhelmingly talented people that i love more and more each time we get together! Krissia, you're a goddamn genius; your interpretive skills and delivery are amazing! Bev, you under-rate yourself! i think you're the strongest, most talented actor PCC has had since... since well, Calvin, but that's how highly i think of you. i think this was what i wanted to say to you during The "First Impressions - Make Everyone Feel Scrutinized!" Game. Bev don't cry!
but can i be corny? this is a dream come true. i think i've always kinda wanted to be a playwright, and i think at least partially, this dream has come to fruition. and i won't lie, but i love spotlight when it's for something i really love, or think i have a smidge of talent in. i love the stage! i really don't know why i waited so long to pursue it. it's alway been in the back of my mind. the thoughts that lull me to sleep are ones of stage or film successes.
pipe dreams, really. i'm not sure i've heard of a filmmaker who wanted an average looking brown girl. and i'm not sure anyone's really given a record deal to a mediocre electronic musician who dropped out of her classes, either. oh wait... what's my major again? oh yeah... psychology... so not sexy right now.
so i'm just gonna stop there. i really should start updating more often, to prevent long entries like this that most people don't read. but thanks to those who do. er, did.
*queue FSA rumour mill*
"Omigod omigod omigod! did you know that Bev and Denise- y'know those girls in People Power? anyway, i heard they totally hooked up! why do you think they're always together? i always knew that Denise was kinda dykey..."
awesome. bring it.
2:42pm
you came to the conclusion that YOU DON'T NEED THIS and YOU DON'T WANT THIS EITHER. your heart isnt in it. you actually love the theater for now. who knows if that'll change, if you'll regret not taking this instead. the bottom line is YOUR NATURAL INCLINATION IS TO NOT DEVOTE YOUR TIME, EFFORT, LOVE, CREATIVITY OR ATTENTION to this. you don't love it as much as you thought you did; you're not as good as you thought you were. it may be something nice to say, but so is saying you're a bio major, or saying you go to Berkeley. but those didn't happen, because YOUR HEART WASN'T IN IT. are you just not taking advantage of a great and rare opportunity? maybe.
did you just over-committ yourself to too much? just not set your priorities straight? maybe.
you're just not as talented or knowledgeable as you thought you were.
2:57pm
what about this: you drop 124 this quarter. take every other electronic music prereq and if you decide to, take 125 and 167 for an extra fall quarter. maybe you can take an extra psych class (psych120 - consciousness). SEE IF THIS IS POSSIBLE.
i know some people who'll be very upset when they hear about this. namely Marissa and Monica. the worst though, was telling Gabriel. today, he was even trying to reel me back in, telling me the MIDI keyboard and the samplers aren't even that difficult to master, and that he'd help me w/the assignment due tomorrow. i could have taken advantage of that, but i know i'll want to make it something i'm satisfied with, and not just something i did for the purpose of completing an assignment, which was pretty much all of my work last quarter. and i already have a creative outlet that i'm madly, madly in love with right now, and that's theater.
I don't think I could love PCC/People Power more, (we'll see about next year!). And I couldn't love the cast more. i can actually now say i completely and totally embrace the script (now that i've made some *ahem* changes to my character, teehee). the remarkably productive ADD that we all have, that spark of creativity that emerges when we all get together - it's a drug. i'm just too too lucky to be involved with all of this. and these amazingly, overwhelmingly talented people that i love more and more each time we get together! Krissia, you're a goddamn genius; your interpretive skills and delivery are amazing! Bev, you under-rate yourself! i think you're the strongest, most talented actor PCC has had since... since well, Calvin, but that's how highly i think of you. i think this was what i wanted to say to you during The "First Impressions - Make Everyone Feel Scrutinized!" Game. Bev don't cry!
but can i be corny? this is a dream come true. i think i've always kinda wanted to be a playwright, and i think at least partially, this dream has come to fruition. and i won't lie, but i love spotlight when it's for something i really love, or think i have a smidge of talent in. i love the stage! i really don't know why i waited so long to pursue it. it's alway been in the back of my mind. the thoughts that lull me to sleep are ones of stage or film successes.
pipe dreams, really. i'm not sure i've heard of a filmmaker who wanted an average looking brown girl. and i'm not sure anyone's really given a record deal to a mediocre electronic musician who dropped out of her classes, either. oh wait... what's my major again? oh yeah... psychology... so not sexy right now.
so i'm just gonna stop there. i really should start updating more often, to prevent long entries like this that most people don't read. but thanks to those who do. er, did.
*queue FSA rumour mill*
"Omigod omigod omigod! did you know that Bev and Denise- y'know those girls in People Power? anyway, i heard they totally hooked up! why do you think they're always together? i always knew that Denise was kinda dykey..."
awesome. bring it.