(no subject)
so to begin with, doin pretty well, 7 outta 10 or so
Classes are not bad at all, especially since they get me nostalgic about a year ago. I love US History 2 and Acting I (yeah, acting) and despise the repeats, but hey, you can't have it all, right? I get home and have made it a habit of playing an insanely overdriven SG through a Russian tube amp and feeling alllllllllright. I still veg, but I'm tuning my goddamned focus. Dreams have been positive, and not in a yearning-for-days-past after-effect way either. Had one where I was driving this turbo lawn-mower through key west, loved every minute of it.
Let's see, what else? I'm going to Key West next summer, and I'll be 21. I had the dream before the trip came up. Neat coincidence. I have SERIOUSLY cut down on the smoking of ganja. I would be proud of myself if it weren't so easy to resist these days, but it just is. I save money, I do smoke more cigarettes as a result though. Only one thing at a time. I quit taking adderall for the most part because I get manic and joyous even when I'm sober, and you know what they say, the higher you fly the deeper you'll go. And that's a key problem with me, probably with everybody. When I'm happy I can't remember what it's like to be sad and vice versa. It's when I can feel em both at the same time that I feel like I'm truly going somewhere.
Nostalgia always re-energizes me. Today I listened to "Stars and Sons" by Broken Social Scene. I was immediately taken back to several things: having a huge crush on Alex Jenkins and all of these outings with her in the cold weather, going to panera early in the morning to work (still hungover), going home to my filthy and trashed sequoyah hills apartment to smoke weed all day, kids in the hall, Joe's visits before he headed on to work, moving my matress around my apartment to see if I could sleep better in different locations, and watching my dvd collection several times other and practicing fingerpicking because I was too scared to interact with people. Those were SHIT times, but looking back, I wish I could convert em into a painting or some sort of media, because looking back just seems really helpful. That's the power of nostalgia. Some times will maim you but you will still be HUNGRY to remember. This is the joy/sadness mindfreak I was talking about earlier. I'll end with a good quote by William Faulkner: "The past is not dead. It's not even past."
Classes are not bad at all, especially since they get me nostalgic about a year ago. I love US History 2 and Acting I (yeah, acting) and despise the repeats, but hey, you can't have it all, right? I get home and have made it a habit of playing an insanely overdriven SG through a Russian tube amp and feeling alllllllllright. I still veg, but I'm tuning my goddamned focus. Dreams have been positive, and not in a yearning-for-days-past after-effect way either. Had one where I was driving this turbo lawn-mower through key west, loved every minute of it.
Let's see, what else? I'm going to Key West next summer, and I'll be 21. I had the dream before the trip came up. Neat coincidence. I have SERIOUSLY cut down on the smoking of ganja. I would be proud of myself if it weren't so easy to resist these days, but it just is. I save money, I do smoke more cigarettes as a result though. Only one thing at a time. I quit taking adderall for the most part because I get manic and joyous even when I'm sober, and you know what they say, the higher you fly the deeper you'll go. And that's a key problem with me, probably with everybody. When I'm happy I can't remember what it's like to be sad and vice versa. It's when I can feel em both at the same time that I feel like I'm truly going somewhere.
Nostalgia always re-energizes me. Today I listened to "Stars and Sons" by Broken Social Scene. I was immediately taken back to several things: having a huge crush on Alex Jenkins and all of these outings with her in the cold weather, going to panera early in the morning to work (still hungover), going home to my filthy and trashed sequoyah hills apartment to smoke weed all day, kids in the hall, Joe's visits before he headed on to work, moving my matress around my apartment to see if I could sleep better in different locations, and watching my dvd collection several times other and practicing fingerpicking because I was too scared to interact with people. Those were SHIT times, but looking back, I wish I could convert em into a painting or some sort of media, because looking back just seems really helpful. That's the power of nostalgia. Some times will maim you but you will still be HUNGRY to remember. This is the joy/sadness mindfreak I was talking about earlier. I'll end with a good quote by William Faulkner: "The past is not dead. It's not even past."