(no subject)
I'm so sick of hearing how I'm constantly messing up and how I'm not good enough. I'm sick of being left in the garage to fall apart with no one there to pick me up. Yes I have Dan but how can I even begin to tell someone I love that much...how much I am suffering. How could I burden him with my pain? I don't know how much more of these nights I can take. I hate how I feel on top of the world out with my friends and Dan and then the second I get in the car the world is shattered and I'm left with nothing but hurt. I'M SO SICK OF NEVER BEING GOOD ENOUGH!!! Maybe my therapist was right...maybe it is depression and that's why no matter how great things are outside of my house I always end up crying myself to sleep. I'm sick of my guy friends flirting with me *strictly platonic way* and saying how if I have a party I need to invite girls for them to hit on but they have to be as pretty as me...and still feeling like the ugliest thing in the world. I'm sick of making Dan feel bad when I feel fat or ugly or stupid. I hate having these amazing opportunities and great friends and a boyfriend who is an infinite amount of times better then the guy of my dreams and not being able to enjoy it!
-RANT OVER-
-RANT OVER-