A New Beginning (Chapter 8)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: Despite last night's events, I was able to pull this one off in time. Surprisingly, it's the longest chapter yet. So please let me know what you think and please forgive any mistakes because I am running off of very few hours of sleep.
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You guys always make my day (:
Chapter 8
Addison and Callie made their way to Callie’s bedroom and threw themselves onto the bed with pop tarts in hand. Callie was excited to tell Addison about her day and the new ideas that she had.
“So...tell me everything.” Addison ripped open a package of pop tarts and got ready to listen to Callie’s story.
“Well, we talked about everything. But she was so upset because her brother just joined the military and he is being deployed to Iraq in three weeks.”
Addison frowned. That was heavy stuff.
“She's really close to him, to Daniel. And she's taking it very hard.” Callie thought back to Arizona’s endless tears and it tugged at her heart to remember her like that.
“She told me about their childhood and about how he has always been there to love her and protect her. And that he is taking her heart with him to Iraq.” Callie looked around her room to keep her from getting distracted.
Addison swallowed her pop tart hard and stopped eating. She felt bad for the blonde even though she didn’t even know her. She couldn’t imagine the way Arizona must be feeling. She remembered when she had to leave Callie and she felt like the world was coming to an end, and she was still in the country. She knew it must be hard for Arizona to accept that her brother was leaving for another country to fight a war.
“But eventually I helped her through it. And I know that there will be so many more tears before it's all said and done, but at least I got her to smile today.”
Addison grinned knowingly. “So, if yo managed to cheer her up, I’m guessing you talked about more than just her brother today?”
Callie felt a smile form on her lips.
“Yeah, we talked about a lot. She let me know about all of the places she has lived and the people she's met. I told her she was lucky that she got to move around so much because I’ve been stuck here all my life. But she wasn’t that excited, she said it never gives her time to really make good friends with anyone.”
Addison caught the way Callie’s eyes lit up at this. “You are her first good friend huh?”
Callie nodded. “I guess you could say that. We hit it off pretty easily. She's so easy to talk to and she made me laugh without even trying.”
Callie looked at Addison and saw her knowing look.
Addison took a bite of her pop tart and shrugged.
“Told you so.”
Callie rolled her eyes at Addison's comment and laughed.
“Yeah, I know. I told you that you were right all along. And Addison,” Callie looked Addison straight in the eye to give her courage to say what she was thinking.
“I think...I want to-” Callie couldn’t find the right words.
“I don’t want to ignore my feelings for Arizona. I can't ignore them and today I realized that I don’t want to.”
Addison dropped her pop tart and clapped, excited that Callie finally admitted her feelings were there to stay. She jumped up from the bed, surprising Callie and started to dance around the room.
Callie stared incredulously and started to laugh.
“Addie, what are you doing?!”
Addison finally dropped back onto the bed next to Callie and smiled.
“I'm so proud of you Calliope Torres.” She pulled Callie into a hug and squealed with excitement.
“See, this is what you needed. You finally see that you need to look past gender and give yourself a chance with someone.” Addison beamed at Callie.
“This could be the start of something great, Callie.” Addison offered a pop tart to Callie in celebration and Callie gladly accepted.
“What are you going to now?” Addison flipped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling while Callie stared at her wall.
“I don’t really know. I mean, I want to figure things out with Arizona, but I don’t know how she feels. And I’m still not sure how I feel and-”
Addison quickly sat back up, startling Callie.
“NO. That is not good enough Callie.”
Callie blinked in surprise and Addison turned Callie to face her.
“We are going to put an end to that right now. Its okay to not know how Arizona feels, but you will never know how she feels until you figure your own feelings out. So...let's get that straight first.”
Callie nodded and sighed. She couldn’t believe that she was even having this conversation with Addison. A few weeks ago she would have never considered the idea of her and George not being together anymore. And never in her lifetime had she ever considered the possibility of having feelings for a girl. But now...now things were changing.
“Okay, um, where do we start?” Callie was ready. She was ready to figure things out, tired of not knowing.
Addison closed her eyes to listen.
“Start with Arizona. What you like about her, what you don’t like about her. And we will go from there.”
Callie laid down beside Addison and prepared herself to sort through the mess of thoughts and feelings that were leaving her blinded with confusion and anticipation.
“Well...Arizona is, like I said before, different. She isn’t like most people out there. She is perky and confident and funny.”
“I guess I like all of that about her. I like that she makes me smile, that she cares for her brother so much, and that life is important to her. She knows her boundaries and she sticks to her priorities and she's...she's amazing.”
Addison was content, knowing that Callie was headed in the right direction.
“She has these amazing blue eyes and her smile, she has this super magic smile.” Callie couldn’t stop from smiling at the thought of seeing Arizona’s smile, the smile that made her heart soar every time she saw it.
“And she has these dimples. They are so...so hard to ignore. They are really cute and fitting on her. It just radiates her smile even more than I thought possible. And her whole body personifies what she is all about. Even her hair bounces like her personality.”
Callie chuckled lightly and found herself happy to be thinking about Arizona and finally getting all of her thoughts out in the open, even though they sounded foreign coming from her lips.
If Addison hadn’t know any better, she would have thought Callie had completely lost her mind at hearing her best friend talk about a girl like this. But she had a feeling that this was going to be their reality now. This was happening, and she was going to be there for Callie every step of the way.
Callie threw her arms over her head and let them rest on her dark hair, splayed out over the covers.
“As for things that I don’t like about her...”
Addison smiled. This was a good sign.
“Well...there's not really anything that I don’t like about her,” Callie paused to wonder whether or not to say what she was really thinking. But she might as well. This was time to get it all out, to not lie to herself anymore.
“Except for the fact that I cant be with her. And that I don’t know how she feels. She's good at showing her emotions, but I haven't been able to figure out what she is feeling about us. She's happy to have a friend, but-”
She turned her head to glance at Addison who still had her eyes closed.
“What if she doesn’t want more than that Addison? What if I am wasting my time, worrying myself about the fact that I am falling for a girl, falling for her. And shes not even interested, not feeling the same way I am about her.”
It hurt Callie to think that she was wasting her time with all of this. She knew that the possibility that Arizona was feeling the same way wasn’t completely out of the question, but it was an extremely long shot.
This is why she was so hesitant about even letting herself determine if she was really feeling these things for Arizona. She was letting herself become someone she was unsure of, someone she didn’t know. But she was okay with that for now. However, if Arizona didn’t feel the same she didn’t know how long the new her would last. She wasn’t ready for heart break again.
Addison finally spoke up after deciding on what to say.
“Callie. You aren’t wasting your time. Obviously you care a lot about her, and you cant' let that go, you can't let her go. I know you are still afraid of what you are becoming, but there is no need to be afraid anymore. There's nothing to be ashamed of, I’m all for you giving yourself a chance with Arizona. She seems like she's really good for you and I've never seen you so happy with the idea of being with someone Callie.”
Addison moved to hold Callie’s hand for reassurance and Callie turned to meet her eyes.
“She makes you happy, Cal. Hold onto that and go for it. From the way it sounds, you make her happy to. So don’t stress about what she is feeling. When the time is right, everything will fall into place and you will know her feelings. Don't rush them, but let her know that you are interested. And then go from there. You may surprise yourself at what you find.”
Callie rolled over and gave Addison a hug.
“You're right Addison. You are always right.”
“Now, tell me your final thoughts.”
Callie took a deep breath and let herself say that words that she had been avoiding for so long.
“I want to be with Arizona. I like her. I...like...Arizona.”
There. They were out. She admitted the truth to herself and she immediately felt relieved for not having to lie to herself any longer. She still had a long road ahead of her, but if she could realize that her feelings for Arizona were more than what she'd ever thought to exist, then she was ready to take the next step.
Addison smiled simply and opened another pack of Pop Tarts.
“Now that's what I've been waiting for hear.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arizona sat at the dinner table, hurriedly eating her food and avoiding her parent's curious stares.
When her father inquired about her choice of clothes, she told him simply that she had borrowed them from a friend because the rain ruined her other ones.
Colonel Robbins watched his daughter carefully, trying to gauge Arizona’s mood. He was thrilled when Daniel came to him to tell him that he had enlisted, but he knew Arizona wouldn’t take the news well.
Her eyes were still red with hard fallen tears, but she didn’t seem to be too upset at the moment. She had sought comfort from a friend that he had not yet met and he wandered briefly if she had found the comfort she needed. He knew that Arizona wasn’t one to hide her emotions, she had always been the sensitive child. But right now she was as transparent as a mud puddle.
“So how was your day Arizona?” the Colonel asked nonchalantly, trying to casually figure her out.
Arizona popped her head up from her food and smiled brightly, still in a good mood from her visit with Callie.
“Oh, it was good. Sorry about not letting you know where I was. I actually just went out for a walk, but I decided to go see a friend,” she smiled cheerfully at her father.
Daniel watched quietly at the way Arizona’s eyes lit up when she spoke about her day with Callie. He was happy that she had a friend, but he was curious as to why she was so excited to see this girl, seeing as how they had only met a few days ago.
Arizona’s mother also noticed Arizona’s cheerfulness and spoke up.
“Who is this friend of yours sweetie?”
Arizona beamed when she answered her mother.
“Her name is Calliope. She has a few classes with me. She's the one who took me to the party the other night.”
Her mother nodded briefly, remembering Arizona mentioning something about that party the other night.
“Well that's good. It's good to see that you are making friends so quickly.”
Daniel smiled and caught Arizona’s eye, to which she responded with a small grin back.
She then politely excused herself from the table and left her parent's to wander out her perky attitude that they were so accustomed to seeing. They knew that Daniel had told her and they found the two siblings holding each other while they slept the next morning. So why was she so happy right now? Surely she was still hurting from the news of Daniel's departure, but it didn’t seem to bother her in the least at the moment.
The Colonel raised his eyebrows at his wife and they just shrugged. As long as Arizona was okay, they didn’t care what the reason was for her happiness.
Arizona twirled her hair in her fingers absentmindedly while she sat down at her computer to check her email.
Today had gone really well. She was relieved that Daniel’s leaving wasn’t the only thing that she could think of all day, thanks to Calliope. She enjoyed spending time with Callie and she wanted nothing more than to talk to her again. Calliope Torres was going to be the death of her. She was beautiful and caring and turning out to be a great friend.
But Arizona couldn’t stop herself from wanting more. She wanted Calliope to be hers. She wanted to know that Callie would always be there for her when no one else would and she had made up her mind. She was going to stop fighting with her emotions and go for Callie. First she needed to evaluate Callie’s feelings, but after today she was hopeful that Callie just might be close to feeling the same way.
Arizona knew she was taking a huge chance and playing with her luck and her feelings, but she didn’t want to suffer in silence anymore. She would take it slow with Callie, but she wasn’t going to let her go. She didn’t care any longer that people would talk and she would be looked down on just like she had been in Florida. She wanted Calliope. And nothing was about to stop her.
Arizona’s thoughts disappeared as Daniel walked into her room quietly.
“Zona? Are you feeling better today?”
Arizona smiled up at him and motioned for him to take a spot on her bed so they could talk.
“Yes, now I am. I’m not going to lie and say that I’m okay with you leaving, Daniel. But it's getting better.”
Daniel opened his arms for a hug and Arizona complied.
“Daniel, I’m going to miss you more than you will ever know. You know that you are taking my heart with you.”
Daniel smiled. “Zona, you don’t have to worry. I will be back to return your heart before you know it. And besides, I can't stay away for too long because I would miss you too much.”
Arizona’s heart sank at the thought of Daniel not ever coming home and she hugged him tighter. She knew she couldn’t think that way, she would never get over it then.
Suddenly she knew what she had to do.
“Daniel...”
She pulled away from him and rested her hands on his knees.
“If you are taking my heart with you, then you need to know what my heart holds.”
Daniel nodded in understanding and waited for Arizona to continue.
Arizona’s heart started to race at the thought of what she was about to do, but it had to be done. She would never forgive herself if something happened to Daniel and she never got the chance to tell him the truth.
“Daniel, we always told each other our deepest secrets and trusted each other to keep them safe. And its not any different now.”
Daniel put an arm around Arizona’s shoulder to comfort her, seeing her hesitate.
“What's wrong, Zona?”
Arizona started to panic. What is Daniel hated her? What if he left her here, disappointed with who she really was? She didn’t want to lose her best friend to the truth. Maybe she shouldn’t say anything at all.
“Arizona...Arizona look at me.”
Arizona looked into Daniel's sad blue eyes and her fear melted away.
“You can tell me anything Arizona. That's never going to change. And neither is my love for you. Don't be afraid.”
Arizona took a deep breath and dove in head first.
“I'm a lesbian.”
She couldn’t believe she finally said it. She finally told her brother the truth and there was no turning back now. She squeezed her eyes shut to wait for the fallout and held her breath in anticipation.
Silence.
She cautiously opened her eyes to search Daniel's face for his reaction, scared at what she might find.
Arizona almost fainted at the sight before her...Daniel was smiling.
'Okay...did I miss something? I did just tell him that I’m gay right?'
She waited for him to speak and he simply wrapped his other arm around her and hugged her.
Arizona gaped at his action and her head swam with confusion.
“I love you Arizona.”
She couldn’t believe what was happening.
“You-” Arizona’s mouth still hung open and her words were guarded.
“You aren’t mad at me?”
Daniel scoffed.
“No, Zona why would I be mad at you?”
Arizona shook her head.
“Daniel...I’m gay...” She restated what had been said to see if maybe he hadn’t heard her correctly.
“I like girls.”
Daniel laughed so genuinely that it shook his body and his dimples appeared.
“Yeah, Arizona, I know what lesbian means.”
He watched her face turn from disbelief to amazement.
“You're okay with that? You don’t hate me?”
Daniels grin turned to a frown. “Arizona, no. I don’t hate you. To be honest, I started to figure you were.”
Arizona cocked her eyebrows. “Why?”
“Well, I saw the way you looked at Callie. She's gorgeous Zona. And it wasn’t exactly hard to miss the way you acted around her, so happy, so...you.”
He then pointed to a poster of Cindy Crawford above Arizona’s bed.
“And you cant convince me that you only have that there to look at her mole.”
Arizona laughed, relief flooding from her small body. Things would be so much easier now that Daniel knew the truth.
“Yeah, you got me there.”
Daniel smiled so wide that Arizona instantly was happy that he knew the truth now.
“And Arizona...be proud of yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are worth any less because you are gay. Because in my eyes, you are worth more than anything for being honest and standing up for what you believe in.”
Arizona kissed Daniel's cheek and giggled.
“Thank you Daniel. I love you.”
Daniel stood to leave, a grin still on his handsome face.
“Arizona...I love you too.”
He stopped before leaving and turned to look at Arizona once more, a look of amusement on his face.
“I wish you had told me before, sis. We could have checked out girls together at the mall.”
Arizona shook her head and joined in on Daniel's laughter as Daniel asked one more question, serious this time.
“Does Callie know? I mean, you do like her don’t you?”
Arizona nodded her head unsure, Callie’s face suddenly appearing in her mind.
“Yeah, yeah I think I do like her. But no...she doesn't know. She just got out of a relationship...with a guy...”
Daniel understood what his sister was saying and he offered a wink as he left the room.
“Give her time, Zona. If she truly knows what's good for her, she will come around.”
A/N: Thank you to oxnightsang3lxo (and her brother) for the wonderful mall comment :)