A New Beginning (Chapter 7)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: Okay whew, this one is finally done. It took a little longer to finish because it's the longest chapter yet. So I hope you enjoy!
Let me know what you think :)
Chapter 7
As Arizona disappeared into the bathroom to change her clothes Addison pulled Callie into the kitchen.
“Cal, you were right.” Addison nodded.
“Um, about what?”
“She is very attractive. And I’m not even gay.” Addison smirked.
“I'm not gay Addison.”
Addison shook her head and pointed a finger at Callie.
“You don’t know that. Don't tell yourself that. That gets you nowhere remember?”
Callie frowned. “Addison, this isn’t about my feelings for Arizona right now, okay? She's hurt and I don’t know why and I need to listen to her without thinking about how much I want to-”
The red-head raised an eyebrow as Callie stopped short, demanding the words she was going to speak to stay inaudible. Addison could fill in the blank with so many, many words and it made her laugh at the shock on her friend's face.
“Are you sure you aren't gay Cal?” Addison snickered and playfully nudged her friend.
Callie ignored Addison's jaunting and stared at her seriously until Addison knew she wasn’t in the mood to play around.
“Addison, I’m scared. I have no idea what's wrong with her? What if I can't help her?”
Addison knew that Callie was telling the truth because she had never seen her friend so unsure of herself before.
“Cal, just listen to her. You will help just by doing that. And let things happen. Don't be distracted by her 'amazingly blue eyes',” she said the last part playfully, drawing on the several times that Callie had mentioned Arizona’s eyes the night before. Even she had to admit that they were one of the most outstanding features of the blonde.
“I'll be back later to see how everything turned out, but don't worry about it Callie. Be her friend.”
With that Addison ran out into the rain to leave Callie and Arizona alone to talk.
Callie stood against the kitchen bar, nervously tapping her fingers on the counter. She was still afraid, despite Addison's pep talk. This was her chance to prove to Arizona that she could be 'her person.' She took a deep breath and scolded herself.
'Don't be ridiculous Callie. Stop freaking out. You are losing your mind. And now you are arguing with yourself in third person. Great.'
Arizona appeared from the bathroom wearing Callie’s favorite pajama pants, navy with Pop-Tart characters on them, and a small gray tank top. Callie couldn’t help but to grin at the sight of the blonde wearing her clothes that were slightly too big on her, but her smile quickly disappeared when she saw the pain in Arizona’s eyes once again.
“Thanks for the clothes. They are...cute,” Arizona smiled down at the pants and Callie blushed.
“Ya, uh, they are my favorite. They are really comfortable.” Arizona nodded at this, realizing that they actually were very comfortable.
“I always feel better when I wear them for some reason. So I thought maybe they could work their magic for you too.”
“Well, thank you Calliope.” She started down at the ground, still feeling bad for ruining Callie and Addison's plans that they pretended never existed. “I'm sorry again for just showing up like this. I didn’t know your friend was here and I’m sorry for interrupting.”
Callie shook her head and talked softly. “Hey, you are just fine. You didn’t interrupt at all.”
Arizona looked up at her and Callie offered her arm to Arizona, who locked her arm around it happily.
Callie led them to the front porch to sit on the porch swing. Rain always helped her stay relaxed and focused, so she figured it would be best to sit outside while they talked.
The two girls sat comfortably on the swing with their arms still interlocked and watched the rain silently for a few minutes. Finally Arizona decided to speak up.
“My brother, Daniel, and I are best friends. We have always been closer to each other than we ever have to anyone else. He taught me how to read, and how to ride a bike, and how to catch lady bugs in the backyard. We would hang out with each other from the time we woke up to the time we fell asleep, and then get up and do it all again the next day,” Arizona smiled sadly at the fond memories of her childhood with Daniel.
“When I would get hurt, he would hold me until I stopped crying and all of my pain magically disappeared. He would always give me donuts to cheer me up, knowing that always helped. He always looks out for me and protects me, even to this day.”
Callie listened quietly to what Arizona had to say, not yet knowing where she was going with her story.
“Last night I fell asleep crying in Daniel’s arms, just like when I was younger. And the irony of it all is that he's the reason I was crying. This time he was the one to cause the pain,” Arizona let a tear escape her eye quietly. “And this time the pain didn’t go away. Not completely.”
Callie waited for Arizona to continue while she watched the rain.
“Last night Daniel told me he joined the military,” Arizona frowned deeply and Callie started to see why Arizona was so upset. She was going to have to say goodbye to her best friend, even if it was only for a while.
Arizona turned her attention from the rain and stared into Callie’s eyes to brace herself for the shock wave of pain that was sure to follow her next sentence.
“And he's being deployed in three weeks.”
Arizona’s voice cracked with emotion and Callie found it difficult to hold her gaze, hating the pain shining deeply in Arizona’s eyes. To Callie’s relief, Arizona broke their eye contact first, squeezing her eyes and lips shut to hold back tears.
“Oh, Arizona,” Callie whispered. “Arizona, I’m so sorry.” She started to trace small circles into the back of Arizona’s shaking hand.
Tears spilled out from Arizona’s closed eyes despite her effort to contain them and Callie once again found herself wanting to just hold her in her arms. She knew this was a big deal for Arizona and she could see that Arizona’s heart had been broken at the news of her brother's deployment. It hurt her to watch Arizona fight tears, not knowing if she was afraid to release them to herself or to Callie.
Callie continued to caress Arizona’s hand, trying to encourage her to not be afraid to just let it all out.
After releasing a few tears Arizona opened her eyes to find that Callie was still looking at her, sympathy coloring her face. And for once in her life she felt genuine concern for her emanating from someone other than a family member. She realized that the sincerity of Callie’s concern was exactly what she needed.
Callie’s soothing touch led Arizona to the emotional release that she needed and she let herself cry, feeling that she could trust Callie to see her like this. She cried until her body shook, finally realizing the severity of the situation. Callie hesitantly pulled Arizona closer to her and Arizona let her know that her action was welcome by resting her head on Callie’s shoulder, instantly comforted by the physical contact.
Arizona jumped slightly in surprise when she felt Callie’s hand rest on the top of her head, holding her close to her shoulder. This caused Callie to almost retract her hand, wandering if she was making the blonde uncomfortable.
After Arizona made no attempt to escape Callie’s touch, Callie began to slowly run her fingers through Arizona’s drying hair, an action that she often found comforting when she was hurting.
Arizona cried freely into Callie’s shoulder until she no longer had any tears left. She slowed her breathing and began to concentrate on Callie’s fingers aimlessly sliding through her hair. Suddenly it became very hard for Arizona to focus on anything other than Callie’s gentle touch. It had an incredibly calming effect on her and she was able for a few moments to forget her pain and just enjoy the feeling of being comforted by Calliope.
Callie searched for the right words to say to Arizona as she continued to stroke her hair. She wasn’t going to lie to herself, she was enjoying this contact between the two of them, but she knew not to get distracted.
“Arizona,” she started slowly.
“I know this is going to be really hard on you. I mean, it already is. And I can't say that I know how you feel because I don’t.” Callie took a breath and started to stare at Arizona, hoping she would look up.
“But, I do know what it feels like to have your heart broken by someone you love.”
Arizona unwillingly lifted her head from Callie’s shoulder, not quite ready to disconnect herself from Callie’s touch. She was rewarded, however, by Callie’s caramel eyes staring intently into her own.
Thinking to Callie’s ordeal with George the night prior, she frowned.
“How are you doing with that by the way?” She ignored her own problems momentarily and inquired about Callie.
“I'm actually okay with it. I mean, it still hurts, but I am okay. We were falling apart, and honestly it wasn’t worth it anymore, pretending that we were still in love.”
She glanced at Arizona meaningfully as she said her next words.
“Now I can move on.” She didn’t know why she had chosen to say this to Arizona and she immediately regretted saying it.
Arizona wanted to believe that Callie had looked at her for a reason when she said that, but she didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Callie was straight, obviously. And right now she didn’t need to deal with anything else that would inevitably hurt her in the end, and neither did Callie. But regardless, she offered a smile, which was thankfully returned by the brunette.
“You are stronger than I am.” Arizona’s previous grin was replaced by a frown.
“I know that I must look like a fool, showing up on your doorstep crying. Especially when I know you are suffering too.”
Callie shook her head to disagree. “Arizona, no. I actually feel privileged that you chose me to talk to. Even it I was only chosen by default.”
This time it was Arizona’s turn to shake her head. “No, not by default Calliope. By choice. I was taking a walk to clear my head. And next thing you know I found myself here. I decided to see you. Not anyone else. And I’m sorry if it was a selfish choice, but I-” Arizona smiled shyly.
“I feel like I can tell you anything, especially now. I know we haven't known each other for very long, but you are different Calliope. You just proved that to me. You care like crazy.” She stopped and met Callie’s eyes shyly. “And I love that about you.”
Callie felt her heart skip and she couldn’t stop looking into Arizona’s eyes, pulled in by the bright blue that shone through when she said those words.
Those eyes. Crap those eyes were going to be the death of her.
'Look away, Callie, look away.'
This wasn’t a good time for her undetermined feelings for Arizona to surface again. But of course, here they were, revealing themselves to her the longer she stared into Arizona’s eyes.
She just couldn’t look away because Arizona’s eyes were...hopeful...but afraid. They were a mirror image of Callie’s emotions and just like that a connection was formed between the two friends. A connection that neither had ever felt before. They trusted each other and knew that they were loved. And Callie knew without a doubt that she wanted to give Arizona a chance. It would be a leap into the dark, but she felt it going somewhere, if nothing more than a lifelong friendship.
“Well, I promise that you can always talk to me. Anytime you need to talk just let me know and I'll be there to listen. I know your pain isn’t even close to being over and you'll need a friend. And I want to be that friend for you Arizona.” Callie whispered her confession and waited for Arizona’s response.
“Calliope, you already are that friend.” Arizona smiled, a genuine smile that revealed her dimples to Callie for the first time that day.
Callie was relieved to see Arizona’s smile and for once she allowed herself to get lost in Arizona’s dimples, starting at them unashamed. She was happy to see that Arizona was forgetting her sadness and looking ahead, but she was even more thrilled that Arizona thought of her as a friend already. This was going to well and she couldn't wait to tell Addison.
“So thank you, Calliope. Thank you for being there.”
She looked out at the rain and thought about Daniel, sighing deeply.
“It's so hard. I don’t want him to leave, Calliope. I’m not going to know what to do without him. He has my heart and now...now he's leaving and taking it with him to Iraq.”
She wanted to cry again, but she refused to let the tears ruin her strength any longer. She was going crying, at least for now. It wasn’t like Daniel was dying or anything, and she was grateful for that, and she took comfort in knowing that he would come home eventually.
“I really am proud of him for being so brave. He always pretended to be a brave soldier like our father, marching around in the backyard in an over sized uniform and a water gun strapped to his back.” She giggled slightly at the memory of her blue eyed, blonde haired brother pretending to save her from all the enemies.
Callie watched as Arizona’s look became pained and distant and she felt her brief happiness slip away.
“Calliope...if something happens to him-” she couldn’t finish that thought. She refused to. It hurt more than she could bear.
“He will be alright Arizona. He knows that you love him and he will be sure to come back to you. He does have your heart after all, so he has to bring it back to you.” Callie chose her next words carefully, hoping to be positive for Arizona.
“If you think about it, he's doing this to protect you, just like he did when you guys were little. He is protecting you, protecting the ones he loves, and protecting his country. And he's brave to do that. I know it hurts so badly right now and you may not want to believe it yet, but he is doing it because he loves you Arizona.”
Arizona was amazed at Callie’s words of comfort, at the ease at which she was able to reassure her, and she couldn’t do anything other than pull Callie into a hug, wrapping her arms around her for the first time. Callie returned the hug and tried to contain her excitement at being in the arms of the one person who she couldn’t stop thinking about, a moment that she had imagined for a while now. She finally was fulfilling the desire that she had for physical contact with Arizona. And the feeling was intoxicating.
When they finally pulled away from each other Arizona was smiling, much to the pleasure of Callie who was smiling as well. Apparently they both enjoyed the hug and felt much better after it.
Arizona was happy. She couldn’t believe that an hour ago she had been standing on Callie’s front porch, completely vulnerable and now here she was, happy. Oh yes, Calliope Torres certainly was different, it was extremely clear now. She needed this girl in her life, no matter what kind of relationship they would have. If she could make her feel this happy by only talking with her through her emotions, then she was worth a second look. She could only hope that maybe one day Callie would feel the same way.
Relieved that the weight of the situation with her brother was lifted from her chest, Arizona was ready to move on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the next several hours Callie and Arizona sat on the swing, talking about the past and the future. Callie listened to several stories about Arizona and Daniel and it became increasingly obvious why Arizona was so upset about her brother leaving. She truly did love him more than anyone else in the world and she was sure that he shared that same love for her.
It was so easy to laugh with Arizona that it surprised Callie. She found herself loving every second of her time with Arizona, all of her nervousness gone.
'Is it really this easy? Can this really be true?'
Callie giggled as Arizona made a comment about her Pop Tart pajamas and she watched as Arizona’s blonde curls bounced with her laughter. It truly was adorable to her the girl laugh.
Yes, she knew what was happening. Mark's prediction was on the verge of coming true. But Callie stopped that thought. She wasn’t ready. She didn’t want another relationship, and no matter how charming Arizona was, she wasn’t sure that she ever wanted a relationship with a girl. That's not who she was. But she thought back to Addison's words of advice, encouraging her to not let that stop her, to not be afraid of what she didn’t know.
Maybe one day she would be ready. Maybe one day she would start over, a new beginning.
Meanwhile, Arizona was trying hard not to fall for Callie. It was too soon, way too soon. But she couldn’t ignore the way she was starting to feel about her. Things were so easy and comfortable with her.
'You have to stop Arizona. You are going to get yourself hurt again.'
As they were talking Callie watched a navy blue Mustang pull up to the front of her house, coming to a slow stop and Arizona’s eyes lit up.
A tall blond stepped out from the car and waved to Arizona, relief apparent on his face. He hurried out of the rain and approached the porch while Arizona stood to greet him with a hug.
Callie immediately knew who it was as he bore a striking resemblance to Arizona, right down to his curly hair and bright blue eyes.
“Zona, you really had me worried. I figured I would find you here though. Don’t you have your phone?” He looked her up and down to make sure she was okay to find nothing but a genuine smile on her face. He missed that smile and he was thankful to see it again after last night.
Arizona frowned and looked at her phone lying under the swing. “I had the volume turned off and I haven't looked to see if anyone tried to call. I’m sorry Daniel.”
Daniel's eyes shifted to Callie and she stood to greet him.
“Hi, I’m Callie.” She smiled and extended her hand.
Daniel took her hand and shook it lightly, a smile crossed his face and Callie was surprised to see the same dimples that Arizona often flashed.
“Daniel.” He nodded in recognition. “You are the girl from the other night, Arizona’s friend. I gave you and Zona a ride home from the party.”
Callie blushed at the memory of her rude exit. “Yeah, thank you for that. I’m sorry for running out without thanking you. I was kind of upset. It was a rough night.” She laughed lightly and Daniel shrugged.
“I know what you mean. I hope you are alright now though.”
Callie nodded and looked to Arizona. “Yeah, I’m a lot better.”
Daniel noticed Callie’s look and also turned to look at his sister, who was smiling back at Callie. Ah, yes something was going on.
“Zona, mom and dad are expecting us home soon. They are just as worried as I was. So call them as soon as we leave please.”
Arizona hated to go, but she didn’t want to keep her brother or her parent's waiting.
“Calliope, thank you so much for today. It really meant a lot.” She moved to give Callie a hug and Callie closed her eyes as she made contact with Arizona once more.
“I meant everything I said. If you need me, I’m here. Don't forget that.”
Arizona flashed her a grin as she started to follow Daniel to the car. “I certainly won't forget that, Calliope.” She winked and Callie grinned very widely, flashing her best smile.
She was truly happy for once and she was ready to keep this feeling alive. She waved a goodbye to Arizona and walked inside to wait for Addison to come home.
When she went to the bathroom she found Arizona’s clothes sitting on the sink, no longer wet from the rain.
She remembered then that Arizona was still wearing her clothes and she smiled giddily.
Her phone buzzed and a text popped up on the screen.
From: Arizona- I’m so sorry I forgot that I am wearing your clothes. I'll bring them back on Monday. Sorry. And thanks again Calliope. I needed that. -AZ
Callie responded and was secretly excited that Arizona was still wearing her clothes, especially her favorite pajama pants that had looked so incredibly cute on the blonde.
Realization hit her like a brick and she felt a smile start to spread across her face. Arizona Robbins would be in her dreams tonight, and for once, she wasn’t scared. She was excited.
The front door flew open and Addison pushed her way inside carrying several bags full of food. Callie hurried to help her carry in all the goods and smiled upon realizing that everything was junk food. Of course Addison would buy all junk food, she was the only person that Callie knew who could eat as much crap as she wanted and still maintain a wonderful figure.
Among the various items were several boxes of Pop Tarts and Callie grinned, thinking back to Arizona and her pajama pants.
Addison caught Callie’s grin cleared her throat.
“So...how did it go?”
Callie looked at Addison and continued to grin.
“You were right Addison.” Addison took Callie’s smile as a good sign and laughed.
“Well of course I was. I’m always right.” She grinned sarcastically. “But what was I right about?”
“About Arizona. You were right about Arizona. I can't ignore my feelings for her...”