Confused about Sex
Ok. Now, even tho it's a cliche, everyone always seems to have 16 in mind as the age at which they are willing to lose their virginity. For a few years, it is the thing you are waiting for, and it's also a good excuse if you need one, a fallback position. I'm waiting til I'm 16, etc.
But.... what happens when you get to be 16? What if all the rules you made for yourself are answered?
1. Have to be 16 ( I am )
2. He has to be 16 (he's 17)
3. Has to be someone I love ( I do )
4. Has to be someone who really loves me ( and he really does )
5. Have to be in a relationship with the person and have been for a while ( that's us)
So . . . now what? I'm so confused. I'm not religious at all, so none of those churchy rules work -- it's a sin, wait until you're married etc. Really, I only have my own morals to fall back on, and I don't know what they are in this situation. Adults say stuff like "Wait until it's right" but what the hell does that mean?? He's not pressuring me, not unless you count the constant -- ahem -- signs of being aroused, which he seems not to be able to control.
I don't think it would be bad to be with him that way. I'm not bad for wanting to. So why do I hesitate? My mom says it (doing it) can really change a relationship, sometimes not in a good way. Again I want to scream, what in the hell does THAT mean?
To top it all off, my parents might be figuring out that I am cruising the net, even tho I use someone else's computer, at someone else's house.
Life is making me tired. Time for charmed, gilmore girls, csi -- anything good I can find on the tivo. Just not a Lifetime movie, since I feel like I'm living one.
But.... what happens when you get to be 16? What if all the rules you made for yourself are answered?
1. Have to be 16 ( I am )
2. He has to be 16 (he's 17)
3. Has to be someone I love ( I do )
4. Has to be someone who really loves me ( and he really does )
5. Have to be in a relationship with the person and have been for a while ( that's us)
So . . . now what? I'm so confused. I'm not religious at all, so none of those churchy rules work -- it's a sin, wait until you're married etc. Really, I only have my own morals to fall back on, and I don't know what they are in this situation. Adults say stuff like "Wait until it's right" but what the hell does that mean?? He's not pressuring me, not unless you count the constant -- ahem -- signs of being aroused, which he seems not to be able to control.
I don't think it would be bad to be with him that way. I'm not bad for wanting to. So why do I hesitate? My mom says it (doing it) can really change a relationship, sometimes not in a good way. Again I want to scream, what in the hell does THAT mean?
To top it all off, my parents might be figuring out that I am cruising the net, even tho I use someone else's computer, at someone else's house.
Life is making me tired. Time for charmed, gilmore girls, csi -- anything good I can find on the tivo. Just not a Lifetime movie, since I feel like I'm living one.