The Porn. You no touchie.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters.
Author’s Notes: This is a probable contest entry for this week over at
bleach_contest , but I’m not too sure yet. It was sort of a speed fic, too, since Kendra and I wanted to tackle our entries, hoping to get them out of the way. And here is the end result~
Title: Life among Vaizards
Prompt: honesty/dishonesty
Words: 616
Fandom: Bleach
Characters/Pairings: Lisa, Kensei
Summary: You do not touch Lisa Yadomaru’s porn and get away with it. That’s just how life works.
There was a certain very odd quirk that all the Vaizard were familiar with when it came to Lisa Yadomaru. She liked her porn and she liked it a lot. Thus, one did not steal Lisa Yadomaru’s porn and get away with it. Her day had started out normally enough, she’d flipped through some Josei mangas, scrutinizing the art and enjoying the overall content. It was when she left to spar with Hiyori for a little bit that things started to go down hill. She walked back into her room only to find her porn, her lovely and wonderful porn, was gone. No where to be seen. Crying out, endless tears coming to her eyes in a theatrical display, she searched and searched for the one thing that kept her from going insane in the human world.
When that failed, she resorted to feeling out the room spiritually, looking for the culprit who could have possibly stolen her stash. It didn’t take her long to identify the two lingering essences that filled her private quarters. One belonging to Shinji (the pervert made it a habit of stealing her panties) and the other belonging to Kensei. It was the latter one that was suspicious. Kensei had never really liked her to begin with. He knew how to push her buttons, too, and that combination was not a good one, in her opinion. That being said, she stormed out of her room, one destination in mind.
She slammed open the no-nonsense man’s bedroom door and she screamed for all she was worth, “YOU STOLE MY MAN-PORN.” And, well, if that just wasn’t one hell of a way to greet someone …
Kensei rubbed at his sore ears, wondering when Lisa had gotten so vocal. “What’s it to ya?” Resting in his lap was the aforementioned porn she had spoke of. He didn’t seem too discouraged in the slightest from reading her carefully collected, pampered, and respected porn books. Not a wise move on his part.
“What’s it to me?” she asked dangerously, placing a hand on her hip and looking not so much the part of the school girl as a temperamental Hollow bitch. “You. Do. Not. Touch. THE PORN.”
Calmly, as if he hadn’t a care in the world, he turned a page in the manga and shrugged from his position on the futon. “Do ya see me carin’ or not?”
“Let’s be perfectly honest with each other, okay?” she suggested sweetly. “You tell me why you took my porn and I’ll spare your life instead of turning you into pickled human. Mkay?”
There was a snort from silver haired boy. “Yea. I much doubt the sparin’ part. I thought we were being ‘honest’,” he drawled, looking up at her with a cocked eyebrow and letting the page fall from his fingers. “But ya wanna know why, do ya?”
She nodded, still giving off that fake vibe of an adorable, charming young lady. “If you’d be so kind.”
“I wanted to see why ya liked the shit so much.” It was a simple and directly to the point answer. She blinked, not sure how to comprehend that and not have her brain explode. “Don’t give me that look, girly. What, a guy can’t wonder what makes a lady tick?”
Shaking her head, she crackled her knuckles and asked, “Was it worth it?”
“Yea, it was worth it.” He smirked and stood, tossing the manga aside. “Should we take this fight outside or do you wanna fuck up the whole of HQ?”
“Let’s fuck some shit up.” That dangerous tone from earlier was back, full force this time. No one, and she meant no one, touched her porn.
Author’s Notes: This is a probable contest entry for this week over at
bleach_contest , but I’m not too sure yet. It was sort of a speed fic, too, since Kendra and I wanted to tackle our entries, hoping to get them out of the way. And here is the end result~
Title: Life among Vaizards
Prompt: honesty/dishonesty
Words: 616
Fandom: Bleach
Characters/Pairings: Lisa, Kensei
Summary: You do not touch Lisa Yadomaru’s porn and get away with it. That’s just how life works.
There was a certain very odd quirk that all the Vaizard were familiar with when it came to Lisa Yadomaru. She liked her porn and she liked it a lot. Thus, one did not steal Lisa Yadomaru’s porn and get away with it. Her day had started out normally enough, she’d flipped through some Josei mangas, scrutinizing the art and enjoying the overall content. It was when she left to spar with Hiyori for a little bit that things started to go down hill. She walked back into her room only to find her porn, her lovely and wonderful porn, was gone. No where to be seen. Crying out, endless tears coming to her eyes in a theatrical display, she searched and searched for the one thing that kept her from going insane in the human world.
When that failed, she resorted to feeling out the room spiritually, looking for the culprit who could have possibly stolen her stash. It didn’t take her long to identify the two lingering essences that filled her private quarters. One belonging to Shinji (the pervert made it a habit of stealing her panties) and the other belonging to Kensei. It was the latter one that was suspicious. Kensei had never really liked her to begin with. He knew how to push her buttons, too, and that combination was not a good one, in her opinion. That being said, she stormed out of her room, one destination in mind.
She slammed open the no-nonsense man’s bedroom door and she screamed for all she was worth, “YOU STOLE MY MAN-PORN.” And, well, if that just wasn’t one hell of a way to greet someone …
Kensei rubbed at his sore ears, wondering when Lisa had gotten so vocal. “What’s it to ya?” Resting in his lap was the aforementioned porn she had spoke of. He didn’t seem too discouraged in the slightest from reading her carefully collected, pampered, and respected porn books. Not a wise move on his part.
“What’s it to me?” she asked dangerously, placing a hand on her hip and looking not so much the part of the school girl as a temperamental Hollow bitch. “You. Do. Not. Touch. THE PORN.”
Calmly, as if he hadn’t a care in the world, he turned a page in the manga and shrugged from his position on the futon. “Do ya see me carin’ or not?”
“Let’s be perfectly honest with each other, okay?” she suggested sweetly. “You tell me why you took my porn and I’ll spare your life instead of turning you into pickled human. Mkay?”
There was a snort from silver haired boy. “Yea. I much doubt the sparin’ part. I thought we were being ‘honest’,” he drawled, looking up at her with a cocked eyebrow and letting the page fall from his fingers. “But ya wanna know why, do ya?”
She nodded, still giving off that fake vibe of an adorable, charming young lady. “If you’d be so kind.”
“I wanted to see why ya liked the shit so much.” It was a simple and directly to the point answer. She blinked, not sure how to comprehend that and not have her brain explode. “Don’t give me that look, girly. What, a guy can’t wonder what makes a lady tick?”
Shaking her head, she crackled her knuckles and asked, “Was it worth it?”
“Yea, it was worth it.” He smirked and stood, tossing the manga aside. “Should we take this fight outside or do you wanna fuck up the whole of HQ?”
“Let’s fuck some shit up.” That dangerous tone from earlier was back, full force this time. No one, and she meant no one, touched her porn.