(no subject)
What hurts so much about Cookie is, I didn't know it was goodbye when I saw her the last time. I thought she was gonna pull through,that I woud see her again.
But I was wrong, I was petting her and they asked me to wait in the waiting room. I just couldn't deal with being there so my Aunt picked me up and took her to her place overnight.
Apparently late that evening is when she heard the news...she couldn't bare to tell me before I went to sleep. I couldn't have dealt with watching her pass away but I wish I had hugged her and told her that i loved her.
Its so empty without her here,the living room is where she always liked to be in the afternoon and now its just empty. I had been having to help her down the stairs in the morning in the last month and now...theres no one there either.
I have Mimi here but she tends to keep to herself alot, I can't really go to her for comfort. She says hi to me when I come in or when I come downstairs in the morning but otherwise I don't even know where she is sometimes. Shes getting older too which hurts,but shes in good health atleast. I hope she has a long time left,shes 10 now...
I'm not up to spending time with the birds right now. Its hard for me to even go on the computer, I cry every time i'm on it,like now.
Hugging plushies doesn't help either. Just nothing really helps me feel okay, other than not thinking at all. But then I get some kind of reminder and think of how Cookie's never coming home and I just cry again.
When I was younger, I remember I cried alot on one of Cookie's birthdays becaue I knew she was getting older. That the years with her would be limited. I was never ready for this day to happen,but now its here.
Alot of people don't understand that this is like a human death for me. I feel like how I did when my dad died...
But I was wrong, I was petting her and they asked me to wait in the waiting room. I just couldn't deal with being there so my Aunt picked me up and took her to her place overnight.
Apparently late that evening is when she heard the news...she couldn't bare to tell me before I went to sleep. I couldn't have dealt with watching her pass away but I wish I had hugged her and told her that i loved her.
Its so empty without her here,the living room is where she always liked to be in the afternoon and now its just empty. I had been having to help her down the stairs in the morning in the last month and now...theres no one there either.
I have Mimi here but she tends to keep to herself alot, I can't really go to her for comfort. She says hi to me when I come in or when I come downstairs in the morning but otherwise I don't even know where she is sometimes. Shes getting older too which hurts,but shes in good health atleast. I hope she has a long time left,shes 10 now...
I'm not up to spending time with the birds right now. Its hard for me to even go on the computer, I cry every time i'm on it,like now.
Hugging plushies doesn't help either. Just nothing really helps me feel okay, other than not thinking at all. But then I get some kind of reminder and think of how Cookie's never coming home and I just cry again.
When I was younger, I remember I cried alot on one of Cookie's birthdays becaue I knew she was getting older. That the years with her would be limited. I was never ready for this day to happen,but now its here.
Alot of people don't understand that this is like a human death for me. I feel like how I did when my dad died...