I've decided that I'm the sort of sparkly that causes you to veer off the road and hit a deer which turns out to not actually be a deer, but a grizzly bear who proceeds to throw around your car a bit and ultimately leaves because you're boring... leaving you in a wreck of a car but happy because you're still alive.- This is horrifically
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This was very clever and so many bits made me snerk. And I demand the story behind #2.
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