Being Happy with Who I am... has taken a little turn.
Things have been pretty hard. Well, maybe it is better to say that I have been very hard on myself. Mostly because of everything that I’ve gone through and it probably doesn’t help that in the past year, I feel that I’ve actually gotten older… looking. I used to be mistaken for someone 10 to 15 years younger. Now, I think that I’m actually looking my age and that bothers me. It’s hard for me to feel happy with who I am when I don’t feel like I really know the person that I am anymore. I feel like I am someone completely different and I’m not sure that’s very good.
I’m tired a lot of the time, I am not as driven to accomplish things like I used to be. I am more prone to just want to take some time to breath instead of rush through the things that I have to do.
I’ve gotten into a place where I don’t feel like I am getting enough done with my time, and yet, I am not pushing myself to accomplish more. I really need to break out of this rut and get motivated. However, my arm hurts, my back hurts… my throat hurts a little… nothing tastes very good to me anymore, so I’m not eating. And I don’t know, I guess that I’m just not seeing the world in the same way I used to.
I need to take more interest in myself and my life. I need to find new things to motivate me into getting things done. That is what I really need to do.
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