we're just the boys and girls that think we always know
You know what's ironic?
The fact that my mother can sit at the kitchen table and nonchalantly state that she doesn't understand how LGC's own family can kick him out and then literally disown me 2 weeks later.
And I quote, "Call your father when you get home, I'm done with you."
What does that mean? She's not speaking to me for the rest of my life?
I just want to lock my parents in a little box and put them inside my head. They can hear and see everything, including my thoughts. I would have them go through a day like that, powerless to reach out and control anything I was doing, but just to observe what I go through and how I interpret it and feel about it.
My parents me more to me then anything. Especially making them proud. I've lived every instant in an attempt to live up to the expectations set down before me. It's been hard, but I think I've done an ok job.
But no...my perception of reality seems to be quite different from everyone else. My friends have stoped talking to me and I don't know why. A few have stuck by me through thick and thin...one of them has surprisingly been Emily Doss. You know...I realized that during the school day, the only two friends that I have that I don't seem to be hurting are Em and James. But even so...they've still both expressed their concern with me.
Stop telling something's wrong with me.
If you care, don't TELL me the problem.
Ask me what the problem is FROM MY OWN LIPS.
There have been thousands of rumors flying around about me and I'm sick and tired of them. I'm still Katie.
I've told everybody once...
I'm not perfect.
So why does it seem like I have to be or everyone turns their back on me.
I screw up so often because of the people in my life who care about me.
I'm so scared of hurting people...
It's like a phobia...
An idea that makes my skin crawl...
I can't hurt people.
But I seem to be doing just that.
Whenever I try to take people advice, or spend one second trying to help myself, everyone jumps on me about being selfish.
I need help.
I don't need accusations or loss of trust...I don't need every pair of eyes staring at me demanding what went wrong.
I don't need to be letting my parents down.
Thank you everyone.
Sometimes I feel like I want die when I let you down. I can't stand not being, "KATIE" Where's KATIE! What happened to MY KATIE! KATIE'S changed so much. What ever became of the old KATIE...the KATIE I used to know.
It's hurting my head.
My hurt's already gone to shit...
The fact that my mother can sit at the kitchen table and nonchalantly state that she doesn't understand how LGC's own family can kick him out and then literally disown me 2 weeks later.
And I quote, "Call your father when you get home, I'm done with you."
What does that mean? She's not speaking to me for the rest of my life?
I just want to lock my parents in a little box and put them inside my head. They can hear and see everything, including my thoughts. I would have them go through a day like that, powerless to reach out and control anything I was doing, but just to observe what I go through and how I interpret it and feel about it.
My parents me more to me then anything. Especially making them proud. I've lived every instant in an attempt to live up to the expectations set down before me. It's been hard, but I think I've done an ok job.
But no...my perception of reality seems to be quite different from everyone else. My friends have stoped talking to me and I don't know why. A few have stuck by me through thick and thin...one of them has surprisingly been Emily Doss. You know...I realized that during the school day, the only two friends that I have that I don't seem to be hurting are Em and James. But even so...they've still both expressed their concern with me.
Stop telling something's wrong with me.
If you care, don't TELL me the problem.
Ask me what the problem is FROM MY OWN LIPS.
There have been thousands of rumors flying around about me and I'm sick and tired of them. I'm still Katie.
I've told everybody once...
I'm not perfect.
So why does it seem like I have to be or everyone turns their back on me.
I screw up so often because of the people in my life who care about me.
I'm so scared of hurting people...
It's like a phobia...
An idea that makes my skin crawl...
I can't hurt people.
But I seem to be doing just that.
Whenever I try to take people advice, or spend one second trying to help myself, everyone jumps on me about being selfish.
I need help.
I don't need accusations or loss of trust...I don't need every pair of eyes staring at me demanding what went wrong.
I don't need to be letting my parents down.
Thank you everyone.
Sometimes I feel like I want die when I let you down. I can't stand not being, "KATIE" Where's KATIE! What happened to MY KATIE! KATIE'S changed so much. What ever became of the old KATIE...the KATIE I used to know.
It's hurting my head.
My hurt's already gone to shit...