I like to be alone (but not by myself) [fic]
Title: I like to be alone (but not by myself)
Rating: So *very* PG
Pairing: hints of Tosh/Swanson
Summary: Tosh is lonely. Kathy seems lonely. Could be the start of nothing at all.
Word Count: 1511
Disclaimer: Haven't done one of these for Torchwood, but it's never been mine. Never will be. The title is stolen from Delusion of the Endless (who may or may not belong to Neil Gaiman - it depends on which of them you ask), but I've admitted it, so hopefully she's not upset.
Author's Notes: Long disclaimer, long notes - sorry about this. Ah...I can't really explain this, except sometime over Easter I was pacing late at night in the kitchen and this pairing just made sense. Two under-appreciated characters in need of love. I don't like it that much anymore (working on another Tosh/Kathy which I think is much better), but here it is.
Sometime between The Incident with the Pendant and The Incident with Suzie, Toshiko found herself the third corner of two love triangles. The first was seen by everyone (except Owen, apparently), but acknowledged by no-one; Toshiko fancied Owen from a distance, who found Gwen fanciable (or at least to be a good lay), who in turn found the excitement in an affair with Owen made up for a home life which was clearly on the slide (you only needed to clock how much time she was spending on the job or with Owen to realise things with her boyfriend had to unravelling).
The second, which tangled her up with Ianto and Jack, seemed to appear out of nowhere. She loved Jack, usually in the very platonic sense, but Jack was Jack and she’d crushed on him every now and again. A few Instant Message conversations with “them and us” camaraderie, skirting around flirtation, threw a different, rose-tinted light on Ianto. Needless to say, upon discovery of Jack and Ianto (zipping through Tuesday night’s footage to check how her experiments had progressed - Toshiko taught Ianto all his CCTV skills) on the boardroom table, Toshiko felt she’d been led up the garden path, tripped up and left in the dust.
By the time they’d laid Suzie to rest for the final time Toshiko felt lonely. And angry, so very angry with them all; Gwen, who was so nice and kind and perfect, even though she was shagging someone who she must have known Toshiko fancied (because everybody knew, apparently, and Gwen was the “feelings” one), Jack because of Mary (this came in bursts; either she didn’t have the energy or the anger was dulled by understanding - God knows, she wouldn’t want to be in charge around here) and Ianto and Owen, in the same box for once. She was fed up of this. All of it. Life narrowed down to four people and - on holidays and birthdays - her family.
Half four in the morning and the rain had only just stopped. Jack had called them out to look over a crime scene. One of Swanson’s crime scenes, and, given the time, she was especially impatient. Jack shoved Toshiko her way with murmured instructions to distract her and find out what the police knew. Toshiko made sure to take her away to one side, though Swanson seemed wise to what she was doing, peering over her shoulder.
Toshiko did her bit of Q and A with Swanson, all the while wondering who the woman reminded her of. There was something of Jack there - the tiniest sliver of his ruthless, bring-it-on smile and her hard no-shit-please glare closely resembled his if-you-want-a-fight-I-will-win stare. Probably where the friction comes from. That bit too alike.
Allowing herself to drift for a moment while Swanson conferred with her Sergeant (and how loud the innuendo was there - she’d been spending too much time around Jack and Owen), Toshiko hit it. Suzie. Suzie’s better qualities anyway - the ones that didn’t drive her to become a serial killer. When she first joined, Toshiko had been in awe of Suzie (or maybe looking back it was a crush?); she was so pretty, so fiercely intelligent, so confident. Toshiko had felt…let down, so bitterly disappointed and disenchanted by her (attempted) betrayal. She tilted her head slightly. That was it. Some Suzie with a smidgen of Jack.
Except that this woman was different from them. Someone had not made her by mixing two table spoons of Suzie’s good qualities (if there actually was that much good in her) with a teaspoon of dark Jack. She was pretty grumpy (at least, every time Toshiko met her) and had a gruffness to her which Toshiko found strangely appealing.
“Excuse me.”
Toshiko jerked to attention, flushing darkly when she realised she had been staring at the detective’s chest. Still, height difference might let me get away with that.
“I’m sorry. Haven’t woken up yet.” Then, realising she’d left herself open to attack, she added, “These are the relevant files?”
Swanson pursed her lips. “That’s right. You can take any of the evidence you need for your inquiries, though I doubt your colleagues need telling.”
“I can run the fingerprints, if you like. Pass them on.” What the hell had she said that for? Why had she said that?
Swanson looked confused for a moment, then gave that Jack-like smile in combination with a firm nod. “I would like that. Very much. Now, if you’ll excuse me. We have more then one case at the moment.”
Toshiko nodded and found herself watching as Swanson left and, turning away, found herself being watched by Jack. He waited for her and they left the crime scene together.
“I know what you’re going to say,” she told him, thinking back to that talk he’d given Suzie two years ago when they all thought she was falling for a D. S. Turned out that was when she started screwing Owen. “I know we can’t get involved with them. I wasn’t even thinking about it. She probably doesn’t even swing my way.”
“Nice try, Psylocke,” he said. “But that wasn’t what I was going to say.”
“Then what were you going to say?”
“Think about it.”
“I’m not in the mood for guessing games just now, Jack -“
“No, that’s what I was going to say - you should think about it.”
Toshiko stared at him. “What about -“
“That time with Suzie was different. For one thing, it was code. And that time you were with her,” (always “her”, never “Mary”, always “the Cyberwoman”, never “Lisa”) “you seemed happier. I mean you were late with pretty much everything and you were acting very weird but - you were happy.”
The way he said it made Toshiko wonder if he felt he had failed and was trying to justify himself. She kicked the thought to one side and snorted, “Oh yes, went very well last time, didn’t it?”
Jack jerked his head back in the direction of the crime scene. “Scanned her when we first met her and my A-dar isn’t picking anything up. She’s as human as… well, you.”
“But not like you,” Toshiko said. Almost. That was something she preferred to ignore. Like that smile of Jack’s from when he had hypothetically, but oh-so-believably put on a murderer’s shoes and taken stroll through town. Jack was just a bit weird. And apparently didn’t smell human.
“Psylocke?” she asked instead.
“Alias Betsy Braddock. Born Brit chick who swaps bodies with a Japanese girl.” He smiled sheepishly. “Seemed more appropriate than Jean Grey.”
“Or Professor X!” she laughed, throwing all her knowledge of the franchise on the table. “You geek, I’ll bet you’ve got a pile of old comics stashed away somewhere just waiting to topple over and crush someone to death -“
“Hardly. Just a few Jack Kirbys. God, that man could draw -“
Toshiko allowed Jack’s ramble to wash over her and glanced back just as the police cars drove away, thinking. First time they had met Swanson she had shown resistance to Jack’s charms. Could be he just wasn’t her type. Could be she was just being professional. Could be…
That evening all five of them went out for drinks to celebrate their breakthrough. Toshiko, helping Jack with the glasses (leaving him to his own devices with a tray was just asking for violence), spotted Swanson sitting by the bar, trying to ignore some bloke who was getting a little too close for comfort if he wanted to leave with his balls as he found them. Jack, spotting her as well, elbowed Tosh in the ribs. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”
Tosh rolled her eyes. “Tiger’s ’74. 1975’s year of the rabbit.”
“Fine, go get ’em, killer rabbit.”
“Just keep my seat warm, would you?” she asked, placing the drinks she’d been holding on a tray and passing it to him. “I don’t think this will take very long.”
Seeing that the crawler had slunk away (apparently with his balls intact) Toshiko hesitated, then strolled over and gave Kathy her most winning smile. “Hi.”
Swanson glanced at her through narrowed eyes. “Torchwood?”
Toshiko’s smile flickered a little. “Toshiko, actually. And I’m off duty at the moment.” She raised a hand to offer a handshake, but thought better of it and laid it on the bar instead, playing with an abandoned glass. “I was wondering if I could sit and talk to you for a bit, actually.”
“You sure you don’t mind stooping to my company?” Swanson looked over Toshiko’s shoulder. “Looks like you’re all in tonight.”
Toshiko turned her full attention to the bar top, tapping the glass. “Yeah, well… they’re all going on about… it’s just been one of those days, you know?” She risked a glance up.
Kathy nodded slowly. “Yes. I know.” She downed the rest of her drink and after a half-second of horrified panic Toshiko steeled herself for the brush-off. Instead Kathy motioned to the bartender. “Another orange and vodka and - Toshiko, right? What do you want?”
Toshiko smiled.
Rating: So *very* PG
Pairing: hints of Tosh/Swanson
Summary: Tosh is lonely. Kathy seems lonely. Could be the start of nothing at all.
Word Count: 1511
Disclaimer: Haven't done one of these for Torchwood, but it's never been mine. Never will be. The title is stolen from Delusion of the Endless (who may or may not belong to Neil Gaiman - it depends on which of them you ask), but I've admitted it, so hopefully she's not upset.
Author's Notes: Long disclaimer, long notes - sorry about this. Ah...I can't really explain this, except sometime over Easter I was pacing late at night in the kitchen and this pairing just made sense. Two under-appreciated characters in need of love. I don't like it that much anymore (working on another Tosh/Kathy which I think is much better), but here it is.
Sometime between The Incident with the Pendant and The Incident with Suzie, Toshiko found herself the third corner of two love triangles. The first was seen by everyone (except Owen, apparently), but acknowledged by no-one; Toshiko fancied Owen from a distance, who found Gwen fanciable (or at least to be a good lay), who in turn found the excitement in an affair with Owen made up for a home life which was clearly on the slide (you only needed to clock how much time she was spending on the job or with Owen to realise things with her boyfriend had to unravelling).
The second, which tangled her up with Ianto and Jack, seemed to appear out of nowhere. She loved Jack, usually in the very platonic sense, but Jack was Jack and she’d crushed on him every now and again. A few Instant Message conversations with “them and us” camaraderie, skirting around flirtation, threw a different, rose-tinted light on Ianto. Needless to say, upon discovery of Jack and Ianto (zipping through Tuesday night’s footage to check how her experiments had progressed - Toshiko taught Ianto all his CCTV skills) on the boardroom table, Toshiko felt she’d been led up the garden path, tripped up and left in the dust.
By the time they’d laid Suzie to rest for the final time Toshiko felt lonely. And angry, so very angry with them all; Gwen, who was so nice and kind and perfect, even though she was shagging someone who she must have known Toshiko fancied (because everybody knew, apparently, and Gwen was the “feelings” one), Jack because of Mary (this came in bursts; either she didn’t have the energy or the anger was dulled by understanding - God knows, she wouldn’t want to be in charge around here) and Ianto and Owen, in the same box for once. She was fed up of this. All of it. Life narrowed down to four people and - on holidays and birthdays - her family.
Half four in the morning and the rain had only just stopped. Jack had called them out to look over a crime scene. One of Swanson’s crime scenes, and, given the time, she was especially impatient. Jack shoved Toshiko her way with murmured instructions to distract her and find out what the police knew. Toshiko made sure to take her away to one side, though Swanson seemed wise to what she was doing, peering over her shoulder.
Toshiko did her bit of Q and A with Swanson, all the while wondering who the woman reminded her of. There was something of Jack there - the tiniest sliver of his ruthless, bring-it-on smile and her hard no-shit-please glare closely resembled his if-you-want-a-fight-I-will-win stare. Probably where the friction comes from. That bit too alike.
Allowing herself to drift for a moment while Swanson conferred with her Sergeant (and how loud the innuendo was there - she’d been spending too much time around Jack and Owen), Toshiko hit it. Suzie. Suzie’s better qualities anyway - the ones that didn’t drive her to become a serial killer. When she first joined, Toshiko had been in awe of Suzie (or maybe looking back it was a crush?); she was so pretty, so fiercely intelligent, so confident. Toshiko had felt…let down, so bitterly disappointed and disenchanted by her (attempted) betrayal. She tilted her head slightly. That was it. Some Suzie with a smidgen of Jack.
Except that this woman was different from them. Someone had not made her by mixing two table spoons of Suzie’s good qualities (if there actually was that much good in her) with a teaspoon of dark Jack. She was pretty grumpy (at least, every time Toshiko met her) and had a gruffness to her which Toshiko found strangely appealing.
“Excuse me.”
Toshiko jerked to attention, flushing darkly when she realised she had been staring at the detective’s chest. Still, height difference might let me get away with that.
“I’m sorry. Haven’t woken up yet.” Then, realising she’d left herself open to attack, she added, “These are the relevant files?”
Swanson pursed her lips. “That’s right. You can take any of the evidence you need for your inquiries, though I doubt your colleagues need telling.”
“I can run the fingerprints, if you like. Pass them on.” What the hell had she said that for? Why had she said that?
Swanson looked confused for a moment, then gave that Jack-like smile in combination with a firm nod. “I would like that. Very much. Now, if you’ll excuse me. We have more then one case at the moment.”
Toshiko nodded and found herself watching as Swanson left and, turning away, found herself being watched by Jack. He waited for her and they left the crime scene together.
“I know what you’re going to say,” she told him, thinking back to that talk he’d given Suzie two years ago when they all thought she was falling for a D. S. Turned out that was when she started screwing Owen. “I know we can’t get involved with them. I wasn’t even thinking about it. She probably doesn’t even swing my way.”
“Nice try, Psylocke,” he said. “But that wasn’t what I was going to say.”
“Then what were you going to say?”
“Think about it.”
“I’m not in the mood for guessing games just now, Jack -“
“No, that’s what I was going to say - you should think about it.”
Toshiko stared at him. “What about -“
“That time with Suzie was different. For one thing, it was code. And that time you were with her,” (always “her”, never “Mary”, always “the Cyberwoman”, never “Lisa”) “you seemed happier. I mean you were late with pretty much everything and you were acting very weird but - you were happy.”
The way he said it made Toshiko wonder if he felt he had failed and was trying to justify himself. She kicked the thought to one side and snorted, “Oh yes, went very well last time, didn’t it?”
Jack jerked his head back in the direction of the crime scene. “Scanned her when we first met her and my A-dar isn’t picking anything up. She’s as human as… well, you.”
“But not like you,” Toshiko said. Almost. That was something she preferred to ignore. Like that smile of Jack’s from when he had hypothetically, but oh-so-believably put on a murderer’s shoes and taken stroll through town. Jack was just a bit weird. And apparently didn’t smell human.
“Psylocke?” she asked instead.
“Alias Betsy Braddock. Born Brit chick who swaps bodies with a Japanese girl.” He smiled sheepishly. “Seemed more appropriate than Jean Grey.”
“Or Professor X!” she laughed, throwing all her knowledge of the franchise on the table. “You geek, I’ll bet you’ve got a pile of old comics stashed away somewhere just waiting to topple over and crush someone to death -“
“Hardly. Just a few Jack Kirbys. God, that man could draw -“
Toshiko allowed Jack’s ramble to wash over her and glanced back just as the police cars drove away, thinking. First time they had met Swanson she had shown resistance to Jack’s charms. Could be he just wasn’t her type. Could be she was just being professional. Could be…
That evening all five of them went out for drinks to celebrate their breakthrough. Toshiko, helping Jack with the glasses (leaving him to his own devices with a tray was just asking for violence), spotted Swanson sitting by the bar, trying to ignore some bloke who was getting a little too close for comfort if he wanted to leave with his balls as he found them. Jack, spotting her as well, elbowed Tosh in the ribs. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”
Tosh rolled her eyes. “Tiger’s ’74. 1975’s year of the rabbit.”
“Fine, go get ’em, killer rabbit.”
“Just keep my seat warm, would you?” she asked, placing the drinks she’d been holding on a tray and passing it to him. “I don’t think this will take very long.”
Seeing that the crawler had slunk away (apparently with his balls intact) Toshiko hesitated, then strolled over and gave Kathy her most winning smile. “Hi.”
Swanson glanced at her through narrowed eyes. “Torchwood?”
Toshiko’s smile flickered a little. “Toshiko, actually. And I’m off duty at the moment.” She raised a hand to offer a handshake, but thought better of it and laid it on the bar instead, playing with an abandoned glass. “I was wondering if I could sit and talk to you for a bit, actually.”
“You sure you don’t mind stooping to my company?” Swanson looked over Toshiko’s shoulder. “Looks like you’re all in tonight.”
Toshiko turned her full attention to the bar top, tapping the glass. “Yeah, well… they’re all going on about… it’s just been one of those days, you know?” She risked a glance up.
Kathy nodded slowly. “Yes. I know.” She downed the rest of her drink and after a half-second of horrified panic Toshiko steeled herself for the brush-off. Instead Kathy motioned to the bartender. “Another orange and vodka and - Toshiko, right? What do you want?”
Toshiko smiled.