Lessons Learned From Valentines Day
Time to dispel some of lifes little truths
1. All is Fair in Love and War
Truthfullness: Completly False
A long time ago, Cain and Abel had a problem. There was only ONE girl in the whole world that wasn't their sister or their mother, and only one of them could have her. (No one knows where this girl came from). In order to prevent them from fighting, Adam gave to them these rules... rules that would become known as the "Guy Code".
I: Thou shall not date your friend's ex-girlfriend without their permission.
II. Thou shall not dis other guys to the girl in order to prevent competition.
III. Thou shall not cheat with friends girl.
IV. Thou shall be able to look, but thou shall not touch.
V. Thou shall remember: Bro's over Ho's.
VI. If thou likes a girl and does not tell thy friend, though shall forfiet right to said girl.
VII. Girl ultimatly decide who covets her.
VIII. Thou shall not stalk girl.
IX. Thou shall accept girl's decision.
X. Thou shall not lie.
Abel followed the rules exactly and won the girl of his dreams... for 5 seconds when he mysteriously died. Cain then got a cool new mark from God and helped her mourn Adam's Abel's passing until they got married. Cain would go on to build the first city and continue to pass on the guy code from generation to generation.
2. Honesty is the best policy.
Truthfullness: Bwha ha ha ha ha ha
Ok, if that were true guys could say the following lines without being slapped in the face.
I want to make love to you, two... maybe three times.
I jerk off to you every night.
You know my cellphone camera, i disabled the "camera noise" function.
I wrote 20 fanfictions for you on the internet (seriously know a guy that did this)
Here's you on Google Satellite, going into your home.
You didn't give me this phone number, I paid your friend $20.00 for it.
I pinned for you a whole 2 months before gathering the courage to ask you out.
Seriously, there are things better left unsaid.
3. Its not what you say, its how you say it.
Truthfullness: Absolutly true.
Allow me to give this wonderful example
Victor: Hi. I'm an English-History Major whom plans to live for free on campus till the day I die. I have an odd accent people make fun of me because my parents are immigrants. I run an Animation club, write some stuff for the Gateway, work a wierd security job, and volunteer for other organizations like Campus Ambassadors. BTW my Family is fillied with members bent on world dommination and I am a meglomaniac.
OtherGuy: Hi! I'm a student who is taking some time off and I have my own awsome place. I speak a little different then other people, but I think it makes me really distinguished. I am vital to the Anime community and have learned a lot from them and I am a HUGE Gateway writer, infact my next article is comming out soon!. I have some family issues, my fathers a bit of a dick, but I won't let that keep me down. I'm just too good for that. By the way, whats your number?
I'm copying OtherGuy from now on.
4. It's ok to ask
Truthfullness: Kinda.
Lets take a look at the problem facing most guys:
Unfortunatly Joseph Chan is claiming copywrite on the following example. As I am a poor student, I cannot fight his legal abilities. Instead here is another example that sort of works
You have said girl in a maze a farm house, guarded by her Uncle Jim Bob who will shoot you with his shotgun everytime you do something creepy.
Now the guy has the following choices
1. Play the flirting game and run through the maze for days, hoping to catch the girl.
2. Give up.
3. Drive a tank semi-pickup truck to where the girl is by just asking her out.
Usually option 3 is the most efficient, but some girls like being flirted with. Unfortunatly, sometimes we run into "complications" like being too stupid to have gotten said girls contact info.
Lossing contact info is BAD. This suddenly brings you to the problem of the "creepy minefield". Depending on what you do next may set of an explosion that rings to the girl "stalker in training" faster then you can say OJ.
If you get the contact info from a friend, your screwed as she will know and get worried. If you "magically" run into her, you have to act so well as not to arouse suspicions and possibly do reaserch that is borderline insane... if not illegal, or just wait till she contacts you.... which can be a very LONG time. That kind of situation sucks... a lot.
And there are times and places to ask girls out. You do not do that sort of thing over the phone and ESPECIALLY not over msn or facebook... that is bad. Put it this way, if its not an acceptable way to break up with a person... its not a good way to ask them out.
5. It's the thought that counts
Truthfullness: Yes and no.
The best gifts are those from the heart, there is no denying that. It also helps to observe the person and try and get them something they really want but won't get themselves for whatever reason.
Its a BAD idea to give something just because it is expensive or for the sake of a gift. People read into gifts, and if your gift says " i know your soul", that is way more awsome then "I have a really large wallet".
Thank God Valentines day is over
1. All is Fair in Love and War
Truthfullness: Completly False
A long time ago, Cain and Abel had a problem. There was only ONE girl in the whole world that wasn't their sister or their mother, and only one of them could have her. (No one knows where this girl came from). In order to prevent them from fighting, Adam gave to them these rules... rules that would become known as the "Guy Code".
I: Thou shall not date your friend's ex-girlfriend without their permission.
II. Thou shall not dis other guys to the girl in order to prevent competition.
III. Thou shall not cheat with friends girl.
IV. Thou shall be able to look, but thou shall not touch.
V. Thou shall remember: Bro's over Ho's.
VI. If thou likes a girl and does not tell thy friend, though shall forfiet right to said girl.
VII. Girl ultimatly decide who covets her.
VIII. Thou shall not stalk girl.
IX. Thou shall accept girl's decision.
X. Thou shall not lie.
Abel followed the rules exactly and won the girl of his dreams... for 5 seconds when he mysteriously died. Cain then got a cool new mark from God and helped her mourn Adam's Abel's passing until they got married. Cain would go on to build the first city and continue to pass on the guy code from generation to generation.
2. Honesty is the best policy.
Truthfullness: Bwha ha ha ha ha ha
Ok, if that were true guys could say the following lines without being slapped in the face.
I want to make love to you, two... maybe three times.
I jerk off to you every night.
You know my cellphone camera, i disabled the "camera noise" function.
I wrote 20 fanfictions for you on the internet (seriously know a guy that did this)
Here's you on Google Satellite, going into your home.
You didn't give me this phone number, I paid your friend $20.00 for it.
I pinned for you a whole 2 months before gathering the courage to ask you out.
Seriously, there are things better left unsaid.
3. Its not what you say, its how you say it.
Truthfullness: Absolutly true.
Allow me to give this wonderful example
Victor: Hi. I'm an English-History Major whom plans to live for free on campus till the day I die. I have an odd accent people make fun of me because my parents are immigrants. I run an Animation club, write some stuff for the Gateway, work a wierd security job, and volunteer for other organizations like Campus Ambassadors. BTW my Family is fillied with members bent on world dommination and I am a meglomaniac.
OtherGuy: Hi! I'm a student who is taking some time off and I have my own awsome place. I speak a little different then other people, but I think it makes me really distinguished. I am vital to the Anime community and have learned a lot from them and I am a HUGE Gateway writer, infact my next article is comming out soon!. I have some family issues, my fathers a bit of a dick, but I won't let that keep me down. I'm just too good for that. By the way, whats your number?
I'm copying OtherGuy from now on.
4. It's ok to ask
Truthfullness: Kinda.
Lets take a look at the problem facing most guys:
Unfortunatly Joseph Chan is claiming copywrite on the following example. As I am a poor student, I cannot fight his legal abilities. Instead here is another example that sort of works
You have said girl in a maze a farm house, guarded by her Uncle Jim Bob who will shoot you with his shotgun everytime you do something creepy.
Now the guy has the following choices
1. Play the flirting game and run through the maze for days, hoping to catch the girl.
2. Give up.
3. Drive a tank semi-pickup truck to where the girl is by just asking her out.
Usually option 3 is the most efficient, but some girls like being flirted with. Unfortunatly, sometimes we run into "complications" like being too stupid to have gotten said girls contact info.
Lossing contact info is BAD. This suddenly brings you to the problem of the "creepy minefield". Depending on what you do next may set of an explosion that rings to the girl "stalker in training" faster then you can say OJ.
If you get the contact info from a friend, your screwed as she will know and get worried. If you "magically" run into her, you have to act so well as not to arouse suspicions and possibly do reaserch that is borderline insane... if not illegal, or just wait till she contacts you.... which can be a very LONG time. That kind of situation sucks... a lot.
And there are times and places to ask girls out. You do not do that sort of thing over the phone and ESPECIALLY not over msn or facebook... that is bad. Put it this way, if its not an acceptable way to break up with a person... its not a good way to ask them out.
5. It's the thought that counts
Truthfullness: Yes and no.
The best gifts are those from the heart, there is no denying that. It also helps to observe the person and try and get them something they really want but won't get themselves for whatever reason.
Its a BAD idea to give something just because it is expensive or for the sake of a gift. People read into gifts, and if your gift says " i know your soul", that is way more awsome then "I have a really large wallet".
Thank God Valentines day is over