this life of contradictions
i haven't been posting much over break cuz i'm using my rents comp. i've gotten to hang with some of my friends and that's been soooo nice. :-D i've been doing A LOT of thinking, and hopefully i'll be able to change, to get it close to right next semester. Only by the grace of God, i can tell u that. the more i find out the harder i realize it's going to be. but i'll be strong and try to have the right perspective. bring it on :-) oh yeah, and i found out that my GPA rocks, i'm so happy! at least me pouring out everything i had last semester had one good effect. :-/
here's some Relient K, because i can ;-)from "who i am hates who i've been":
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.
...and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can’t let that happen again
‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
!!!!
And here's a passage from The Message Bible--the second half of Romans 7. It's easy to relate to and perfect for me right now. I don't give a crap if it looks long--read it guys, it's awesome. God rules, I drool....rofl!
“What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.”
here's some Relient K, because i can ;-)from "who i am hates who i've been":
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.
...and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can’t let that happen again
‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
!!!!
And here's a passage from The Message Bible--the second half of Romans 7. It's easy to relate to and perfect for me right now. I don't give a crap if it looks long--read it guys, it's awesome. God rules, I drool....rofl!
“What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.”