Oct 19, 2006 22:39
i thought i posted yesterday, thats so weird.
everything has been really good with me. i can actually say, for like the first time in my life, that i like school. no i love it. i actually love it a lot. i love the people, well most, well some. i love the environment and the teachers and herb and everything in general. even though its kind of pointless when i get there early in the morning, its not so bad, i just sit on the couches and chill and maybe eat, and chit chat and just wind down before school. i could name so many other little details i love about it but ill spare you lj.
anyway, so a girl that i used to know from beacon came to visit today. and i wondered how different i must act from when i was at beacon to there. i used to be so introverted and i hated talking to anyone and i just shut myself up and went to classes and left. and at urban all i do is talk and interact and stay late after school for no reason but talk to people and sit and i feel so much more easy going. and not anxious at all. and thats one of the best things in life, when you are happy with school life, otherwise you are just miserable.
and i hate that tyrone feels like that because i went through the same anger and lonliness and shyness etc. and i just wish he could find the place for him like i was able to do with urban. its a really tricky thing.
i also think i like it so much more because its so different from last year. remote was there, which shouldnt even have an affect on my school day, but it did. and there are like zero intimidating people. well maybe some, but i can count them on one hand.
okay, i cant wait for halloween. i really cant. my cher costume is pretty much complete and im so excited. at student committee we've been planning it and ITS gonna be off the hook. i might leave early to be with tyrone, but i will see.
i was going to name more things im grateful for, but i cant think of them now.
psats SUCKED! its was not fun at all. i felt like i was going to do well at first, but i was like i dont want to be here, and it fucked up a lot and left a lot blank and UGH! i dont want to deal with all this college stuff. its really not a good thing for 16 17 18 year olds to have to deal with.
carolyn is mapping out my school year for me. i will know exactly what i have to do to graduate early. and that makes me feel like a million bucks. CHA CHING