Give Me Those Ruby Slippers!!!
The shit will hit the fan on the next guy's watch; it's a no-win situation. They're playing for neener-neener rights at this point, trying to lose with honor -- look at the VP choices. The Dems scraped the bottom of the barrel for Biden; panicking, the GOP knocked the barrel over, dug underneath it, and unearthed a beauty pageant loser.
$150,000 for a makeover is a reasonable campaign expense.
Canon Compliant
Very few people get Ginny Weasley, unless they've been in the military: there are two kinds of tomboy, and Ginny is the other kind, a wild girl, athletic, brazen, promiscuous, unapologetic.
"A what?" she screams as she draws down on Ron. "A what, exactly?" Here's the "over-the-shoulder" section of the scene (you know, the scenes JKR writes, knows she isn't going to get away with, and tosses over her shoulder): "A whore? A 'scarlet woman'? You shut your damn mouth or I will put you in a full-body bind, fuck every Slytherin in your year, male, female and indifferent, and make you watch!"
What about Harry? Gay as Christmas, bless him, and probably the last person to figure it out, stalking Malfoy and all (turns out his suspicions were spot on, but still.) Ginny, loving Harry from the soul, had to take him down by the lake and punch his ticket for him just so he wouldn't have Destined To Die A Virgin floating over his head like a halo, as clear as the lightning scar.
Girls like Ginny don't pine. They might sigh deeply when nobody's looking. But Ginny Weasley is a hot redhead, a war heroine, a Quidditch diva. She's got things to see and people to do. Plus she has to figure out how she's going to forgive Harry for shutting her out of the battle as Luna runs past with Dean; for not trusting her courage, her warrior spirit.
Harry and Ron never go back for their NEWTs (I accept the author's statements as canon. It's her world.) They go to Auror Academy. Maybe Harry helps out at the shop part time with Ron. They act like idiots. They regress. They have some serious teenagery to catch up on before they settle down.
Harry can't talk sexual orientation with Ron. Ron is way too straight. He's the first normal person Harry ever meets that bonds with him. Hermione, who is heaping Muggle university-level credentials on top of her NEWTs, has done a paper on human sexuality and insists on sharing the results of her research with Harry, which naturally terrifies him.
Charlie is very like Ginny, except he doesn't have a soulmate. He recoils from the very idea of sex with Harry as disgusting and incestuous, but Hermione convinces him that it would be a duty and a kindness to help the poor boy explore and resolve this issue. They "date" for a month or so (it takes that long for Charlie to get over the squick factor.) Wizarding gay bars, of course, are out of the question; the first time they visit a Muggle piano bar, Harry draws so much interest he almost wets himself until Charlie, noticing Harry's discomfort, has the presence of mind to drape a proprietary arm around his shoulder before escorting him to the bathroom. Awkward.
How was the sex for Harry? He never really figures that out. He'd have had to get a real boyfriend - on his own. Charlie's discomfiture quickly gets the better of him and he scampers back to Romania where he suffers from psychosomatic erectile dysfunction for nearly a year, plus even Hermione has to admit that it has become tiresome Obliviating Ron after every meal, and more importantly, what cumulative deleterious psychological effect might it have on the future father of her children?
Ginny loves him. Of that Harry is sure. Sex with her was okay; it wasn't scary and it didn't hurt, not even the first time. Nobody would ask him embarrassing questions in public, and if they did, Ginny would hex them. Harry rather thought that if his parents had lived, they would have loved him no matter what, but from what Hermione had told him, one couldn't expect that to be the case, so there was a good chance he'd have to be the man and protect and shield his lover. He could, of course: hadn't he done the favor for the entire Wizarding world? But he'd had enough trouble to last him a lifetime. He just wanted to be normal.
Ginny made a rude noise as she rolled her eyes. "A more romantic proposal no girl could wish for, Potter." But Harry looked so lost and panicky that she had to laugh.
It was just as well, then, that Harry Potter, recent distinguished graduate of the Auror Academy, started showing up at every match the Holyhead Harpies played, bearing massive floral tributes and other ridiculously extravagant gifts for star Chaser and reserve Seeker Ginny Weasley, because rude rumors had begun to surface...
$150,000 for a makeover is a reasonable campaign expense.
Canon Compliant
Very few people get Ginny Weasley, unless they've been in the military: there are two kinds of tomboy, and Ginny is the other kind, a wild girl, athletic, brazen, promiscuous, unapologetic.
"A what?" she screams as she draws down on Ron. "A what, exactly?" Here's the "over-the-shoulder" section of the scene (you know, the scenes JKR writes, knows she isn't going to get away with, and tosses over her shoulder): "A whore? A 'scarlet woman'? You shut your damn mouth or I will put you in a full-body bind, fuck every Slytherin in your year, male, female and indifferent, and make you watch!"
What about Harry? Gay as Christmas, bless him, and probably the last person to figure it out, stalking Malfoy and all (turns out his suspicions were spot on, but still.) Ginny, loving Harry from the soul, had to take him down by the lake and punch his ticket for him just so he wouldn't have Destined To Die A Virgin floating over his head like a halo, as clear as the lightning scar.
Girls like Ginny don't pine. They might sigh deeply when nobody's looking. But Ginny Weasley is a hot redhead, a war heroine, a Quidditch diva. She's got things to see and people to do. Plus she has to figure out how she's going to forgive Harry for shutting her out of the battle as Luna runs past with Dean; for not trusting her courage, her warrior spirit.
Harry and Ron never go back for their NEWTs (I accept the author's statements as canon. It's her world.) They go to Auror Academy. Maybe Harry helps out at the shop part time with Ron. They act like idiots. They regress. They have some serious teenagery to catch up on before they settle down.
Harry can't talk sexual orientation with Ron. Ron is way too straight. He's the first normal person Harry ever meets that bonds with him. Hermione, who is heaping Muggle university-level credentials on top of her NEWTs, has done a paper on human sexuality and insists on sharing the results of her research with Harry, which naturally terrifies him.
Charlie is very like Ginny, except he doesn't have a soulmate. He recoils from the very idea of sex with Harry as disgusting and incestuous, but Hermione convinces him that it would be a duty and a kindness to help the poor boy explore and resolve this issue. They "date" for a month or so (it takes that long for Charlie to get over the squick factor.) Wizarding gay bars, of course, are out of the question; the first time they visit a Muggle piano bar, Harry draws so much interest he almost wets himself until Charlie, noticing Harry's discomfort, has the presence of mind to drape a proprietary arm around his shoulder before escorting him to the bathroom. Awkward.
How was the sex for Harry? He never really figures that out. He'd have had to get a real boyfriend - on his own. Charlie's discomfiture quickly gets the better of him and he scampers back to Romania where he suffers from psychosomatic erectile dysfunction for nearly a year, plus even Hermione has to admit that it has become tiresome Obliviating Ron after every meal, and more importantly, what cumulative deleterious psychological effect might it have on the future father of her children?
Ginny loves him. Of that Harry is sure. Sex with her was okay; it wasn't scary and it didn't hurt, not even the first time. Nobody would ask him embarrassing questions in public, and if they did, Ginny would hex them. Harry rather thought that if his parents had lived, they would have loved him no matter what, but from what Hermione had told him, one couldn't expect that to be the case, so there was a good chance he'd have to be the man and protect and shield his lover. He could, of course: hadn't he done the favor for the entire Wizarding world? But he'd had enough trouble to last him a lifetime. He just wanted to be normal.
Ginny made a rude noise as she rolled her eyes. "A more romantic proposal no girl could wish for, Potter." But Harry looked so lost and panicky that she had to laugh.
It was just as well, then, that Harry Potter, recent distinguished graduate of the Auror Academy, started showing up at every match the Holyhead Harpies played, bearing massive floral tributes and other ridiculously extravagant gifts for star Chaser and reserve Seeker Ginny Weasley, because rude rumors had begun to surface...