Calm and Content...Calm and Content...Aw fuck it, Anxious and Nervy it is
Did I mention that the Looker has a strong beard? He shaves in the morning but by evening he is all stubbly. Which explains why the main pic on his profile has him looking a bit like a mug shot. Have I also ever mentioned that I have really ridiculously delicate skin?
So yeah, my chin is disgusting. It is scabby and bleeding. I look like I have a disease. I forgot how bad it can be. I started law school with my chin in this condition, after my first makeout/sleepover with the guy I would date for the next year and a half. My school ID for all three years showed the red chin.
I keep noticing/realizing horrifying things:
-In cleaning out the kitchen I left out the magazines and books I was reading on the island counter where I eat and read. On top was the latest issue of my Burda World of Fashion sewing magazine. Every April they do a wedding gown feature. So there is a huge headline on the cover screaming "WEDDING SPECIAL." So it looks like I buy bridal magazines as though I am a crazy person.
-The computer issue, which I discussed before. If he did "restore sessions" he not only found out I was googling him, but also found out about this blog because I'm pretty sure I had it open in a tab, in which case the jig is totally up.
-My camera was on the computer table, so if he turned it on and flipped through the pictures he would realize that I basically only take pictures of myself. They are sewing project photos for my blog, but a normal person could still legitimately find this weird.
-There is a book about depression on the little table by my bed, on the side he was sleeping on.
-Perhaps worst of all, my tripod is set up in the corner of my bedroom facing my bed. I can only imagine what that made him think. It is there because my bed is a canopy-less frame bed and I hang fabric over the end to make a neutral backdrop for sewing project photos, but without that knowledge all you see is a tripod. Facing my bed.
I haven't heard from him since his little email Wednesday morning. I kind of had today in mind to contact him but I am so torn. I would really like him to contact me, but if he waits too long it will be awkward and then we won't see each other again and that would be a huge waste.
So yeah, my chin is disgusting. It is scabby and bleeding. I look like I have a disease. I forgot how bad it can be. I started law school with my chin in this condition, after my first makeout/sleepover with the guy I would date for the next year and a half. My school ID for all three years showed the red chin.
I keep noticing/realizing horrifying things:
-In cleaning out the kitchen I left out the magazines and books I was reading on the island counter where I eat and read. On top was the latest issue of my Burda World of Fashion sewing magazine. Every April they do a wedding gown feature. So there is a huge headline on the cover screaming "WEDDING SPECIAL." So it looks like I buy bridal magazines as though I am a crazy person.
-The computer issue, which I discussed before. If he did "restore sessions" he not only found out I was googling him, but also found out about this blog because I'm pretty sure I had it open in a tab, in which case the jig is totally up.
-My camera was on the computer table, so if he turned it on and flipped through the pictures he would realize that I basically only take pictures of myself. They are sewing project photos for my blog, but a normal person could still legitimately find this weird.
-There is a book about depression on the little table by my bed, on the side he was sleeping on.
-Perhaps worst of all, my tripod is set up in the corner of my bedroom facing my bed. I can only imagine what that made him think. It is there because my bed is a canopy-less frame bed and I hang fabric over the end to make a neutral backdrop for sewing project photos, but without that knowledge all you see is a tripod. Facing my bed.
I haven't heard from him since his little email Wednesday morning. I kind of had today in mind to contact him but I am so torn. I would really like him to contact me, but if he waits too long it will be awkward and then we won't see each other again and that would be a huge waste.