Fic: Aleatoric Life 19/25: Gaudioso
Title: Aleatoric Life 19: Gaudioso
Author: SGAtlantisLight
Characters: McKay, Sheppard, Beckett, Zelenka, Emmagan, Dex, Halling
Relationships: Beckett/McKay/Sheppard, Dex/Zelenka implied
Rating: PG-13, though the series as a whole is NC-17
Warnings: Mention of non-con, fluff!
Spoilers: None this part
Summary: They had rescued him, but they had yet to truly bring him safely home. Part of the Aleatoric Life series.
Disclaimer: Undoubtedly I own them, and a whole lot of other things, in some universe, but not this one.
John stuck his head into the bathroom. "Ready to go, Carson?"
Carson frowned at his reflection and messed with his hair more. "Just let me fix this."
"Carson, it looks fine," John said.
Carson sighed and then slowly blew out a breath. "All right. I just... I want everything to be perfect..."
"It won't be. Weddings never are. But it won't matter."
"Aye. You're right. I'll be out in a minute."
"Okay. I'll check on Rodney, then. One minute." John wandered into the kitchen, where Rodney was fussing over the cat, who was purring loudly as he stroked her. "Hey."
Rodney looked up and smiled. "See. I told you she'd learn."
"Yes, Rodney. You are the cat lord." John grinned.
He heard Carson step up behind him a moment before Carson's arms slipped around his waist. John covered Carson's hands with his own.
"So, is Julia set?"
Rodney snickered.
"I want to know what's so funny about Julia," Carson said.
"Do a search on keywords 'fractals,' 'Mandelbrot' and 'Julia' and you'll find out," Rodney answered.
John could tell Carson was eyeing Rodney. "You two are incorrigible."
"Then stop 'incorriging' us," John quipped.
Carson swatted his ass.
"Oooh! I thought we were saving the kinkiness till after the wedding."
"Hello?" Radek called from the other room.
"In here, Radek!" Rodney answered, picking up Julia.
John noted that Radek looked even more rumpled than usual this morning, unshaven, wild-haired. He wasn't certain, but suspected the other man of wearing the same shirt he had the day before. As Radek stepped past him to take Julia from Rodney, John caught a flash of purple low on Radek's throat.
Rodney glanced up and blinked. "Is that a hickey?"
"Rodney!" Carson chided.
John couldn't see Radek's face, but noted that his ears were turning red.
"Sorry, sorry. Never mind. She's been fed, so you won't need to feed her again till this evening. Make sure she has plenty of water and--"
"I know how to take care of her, Rodney. I managed to keep her alive and well for a while before we gave her to you."
"Yes, yes. Sorry. I'm just nervous. Um. About leaving her all day and all. I mean... after the trauma she suffered, I don't want her to feel abandoned or..."
"We've got a Puddle Jumper waiting," John interrupted. "Not to mention Teyla and Ronon. Best to get a move on."
"Right. Bye, sweetie. We'll see you tonight, okay? Okay."
"She'll be fine, love," Carson assured him.
"Enjoy your trip," Radek said. "And fly straight, Rodney."
"Haha! That joke never gets old, Radek."
It felt strange walking down the halls of Atlantis, knowing they were getting married today. No one knew except the three of them and Teyla and Ronon. John wondered how many people they passed would approve.
"Morning, sir," Alvarez said as they arrived in the jumper bay. "All your things are secure."
"Thank you, sergeant. I appreciated the help."
"No problem, sir. Have a good day on the Mainland, sir."
"Oh, I intend to, sergeant... I intend to..."
***
"Is this really necessary?" Rodney asked uncomfortably, clutching at his clothing as he eyed the tub.
"One must be cleansed before the ceremony, yes," the Athosian man answered.
"And you have to be here?"
The Athosian paused. "Well, if you would rather, Teyla could perform the cleansing ritual..."
Rodney gulped. "Oh. No, no! You'll do fine."
***
John settled into the scented water, carefully holding his hands up and away. "Wow. That's almost too hot."
Ronon nodded. "It's supposed to draw any impurities from your body." He eyed the tray of jars and then quickly shucked his shirt. "You don't mind?"
John shrugged. "Not a problem."
Ronon brought the tray over next to the tub, knelt and set it on the floor, before picking up the cloth. "While you're bathing, you're supposed to be meditating on your future spouses and any anger or resentment you might be harboring against them. As you are cleansed, you're to release those feelings and forgive them their shortcomings and know that they are doing the same, so that you might enter your marriage bed free of guilt or anger."
"Okay," John said. He sat back and frowned at Ronon. "That's quite a bite mark you have there. Wild night last night?"
Ronon's only answer was a grin.
"Should I ask who she is?"
"He. And you can ask, but it's private."
"Ah. I see." A thought occurred to him, but it seemed so unlikely...
"You're not supposed to be thinking about me anyway. Think about McKay and Beckett."
"Right. Sorry."
***
"Oh, that smells lovely," Carson said as Halling rubbed scented oil into his skin.
"Mistflower oil. It will be in the wedding tent for your use."
"The wedding tent?"
"Yes. You will see it as we leave-- decorated with flowers."
Carson licked his lips. "And, what exactly is a wedding tent used for?"
***
"Wait, what? They expect us to go have sex while everyone's feasting?" Rodney asked.
"Only after you have joined in the celebration for some time. You are not expected to miss the feast," Teyla assured him.
"But... everyone would know!"
Teyla blinked. "I do not believe there is anyone who is ignorant of what occurs between mates after they are married."
"That's different!"
"I do not understand. I have spoken with Doctor Weir about a tradition among your people called a 'honeymoon.' How is this any different?"
"One doesn't usually have people standing outside your hotel room door eating canapes and chatting while you consummate the marriage."
Teyla looked puzzled. "It would be... most unusual for a new marriage group not to make use of the wedding tent. Indeed, I do not recall any time where such a thing has occurred. It would cause great concern in the community."
"Well, that's a good reason to have sex, then!"
Teyla sighed and took his hands. "You must follow your heart in this matter. I merely tell you what my people's tradition is. My people are much more... open about such matters. Your people value privacy a great deal more than mine do. If it happens that you do not make use of the tent, I will explain this to them. All right?"
Rodney smiled and squeezed her hands. "Um. Yeah. Thanks."
"But, please, do not hesitate to make use of the hospitality if you feel comfortable."
"Not gonna happen," Rodney muttered, pulling his hands away to fiddle with the belt on his robe again. "Have I got this tied right?"
"Here. Allow me."
"I can't believe I'm doing this."
"Getting married?" she asked.
Rodney nodded. "Yeah. I just... well, I'm not good at... things..."
She smiled. "Even those who are not good at 'things' may still find love, Rodney. Celebrate it while you can." There was a sadness in her eyes he'd never noticed before.
He looked at her dumbfounded. He'd never really thought about Teyla's past. "Teyla?"
"Three years before you arrived, a raiding party took several of our people, presumably to be slaves. My husband, wife, and our three children were among them."
"I'm sorry."
"There are many reasons besides trade that the Athosians require access to the gate. I still hope every time I step through to a new planet." She nodded. "It is time."
***
John smoothed down the embroidered hem of his sleeve and smiled nervously at Ronon. "I guess I'm ready."
"You'll do fine."
"Yeah. Fine." John shook his head. "I'm so screwed if the Air Force ever gets wind of this."
Ronon glanced to where John was studying the bright red tracery on his sleeve. "The red is for blood-- the blood of new life, the blood you'd be willing to shed for them, the blood you'd spill for them."
"I've certainly done a lot of those last two lately."
"If you're willing to kill for them, to die for them..." Ronon let the thought dangle.
John smiled and took a slow breath. "Yeah. They're worth it."
***
Carson checked that his belt was secure, fingering the red-embroidered parven leaves and stylised tirit birds-- Athosian symbols of healing and healers-- and smiled at his own nervousness. He doubted either of his lovers had ever appeared in public in anything other than pants, with undergarments keeping themselves in place. He had the advantage over them there, but the slick, silky fabric of the golden robe was much thinner than the wool kilt he'd left on Earth and he had visions of some embarrassing failure of the belt.
Halling smiled at him. "The belt will hold, Doctor Beckett, I assure you."
"Sorry. I suppose I'm just nervous."
"That is to be expected. I hope you are also joyful?"
"Oh, aye! Quite. The only thing that would make it better would be for my mother to be here."
"I should very much like to meet your mother," Halling said. "She sounds like a fine woman."
"Oh, she is. And she loves John and Rodney to no end."
"Then she will be happy for you. Come, Doctor Beckett, it is time."
***
Rodney followed Teyla out of the tent and looked across the clearing, where Carson was following Halling out of a tent and John, Ronon. Both his lovers were dressed in silken robes in a bright shade of goldenrod with crimson embroidery on the hems and belts. Teyla had told him the stitching on the robes was identical-- the constellations Thulan and Arga, custodians of marriage, repeated-- but the belts were individually decorated. His bore balance scales and skran birds, symbols of knowledge and wisdom.
Between them was a large stone circle, representative, he'd been told, of the gate and, therefore, passages. Weddings, funerals, naming ceremonies, rites of passage to adulthood, installation of leaders, all these ceremonies and others would be performed within the ring. At the edge of the clearing, at the treeline, stood the Athosians-- every man, woman, and child of them.
Rodney concentrated on walking without tripping. The last thing he needed was to trip and end up sprawled and exposed on the ground.
He glanced up and Carson smiled at him encouragingly, then looked at John, who gave him a nervous grin. The three processions stopped outside the stone circle, John on his left and Carson on his right, then Teyla, Halling, and Ronon each placed a lit torch in the sconces equidistant around the ring and entered it.
As "family" of the youngest of them, Halling spoke first. "I, Halling Niratan, spiritual brother and representative of the family of Carson Beckett, son of James and Miera Beckett, approve of this marriage and these men, Rodney McKay and John Sheppard."
Teyla was next. "I, Teyla Emmagan, spiritual sister and representative of the family of Rodney McKay, son of Matthew and Patricia McKay, brother of Jeannie McKay-Miller, approve of this marriage and these men, John Sheppard and Carson Beckett."
"I, Ronon Dex, spiritual brother and representative of the family of John Sheppard, son of Alaina Sheppard, grandson of Norman and Esther Sheppard, approve of this marriage and these men, Carson Beckett and Rodney McKay," Ronon intoned.
One of the more elderly men of the Athosians stepped forward into the circle as the three "family members" withdrew. "The joining is approved by the families. What do the people say?"
There was silence.
John stepped forward and nervously cleared his throat. "I offer to the children and youth of my adoptive people my football and surfboard."
There were excited whispers among the children.
Rodney nervously stepped forward. "I offer six laptop computers with educational programs, video games, and other software."
There were more murmurs and a few smiles from parents.
Carson stepped forward. "I bring gifts for the youngest children of my new people-- soft blankets and clothing."
"For the warriors and fighters, I offer the spoils of many battles-- knives, swords, bows, and guns," John stated.
"For the farmers, I offer tools of finest and hardest steel," Rodney said, biting his lip.
"For all the people, I bring medicine and the gift of the finest foods from Earth and this galaxy-- coffee, tea, chocolate, jams, sweets, whiskey, beer, wine, Arlatian candies, the waters of Maseire, and Hindalon seed cakes."
"Furthermore," Rodney added, "we bring a distilling apparatus, courtesy of Doctor Beckett with improvements made by myself."
"And, finally, from all of us to all of you, we bring the gift of our own culture," John said. "We have, ready to be installed, a DVD projector and a collection of the best movies and music of Earth." John grinned at the excited chatter. "And a popcorn maker, with popcorn, butter and salt, in order to experience the movies properly."
The elder Athosian took a moment to turn and take in all the faces. "What do the people say?"
"The family Isharom approves!" someone from the crowd called out.
"The family Niratan approves," Jinto shouted, earning a smile from Halling.
Others piped in, speaking on top of each other until the elder raised his hand and turned and nodded to each of them. "You have brought great gifts to our people. You bring great honour as well. You are now our people and we are yours. Your pain is our pain, your honour is our honour, your children are our children. We hold you as brothers, as sons, as fathers. We will protect your names, your memories, your honour, your descendants, and your marriage forevermore."
Rodney joined with John and Carson in repeating the oath. "You are now our people and we are yours. Your pain is our pain, your honour is our honour, your children are our children. We hold you as brothers and sisters, as sons and daughters, as fathers and mothers, as grandfathers and grandmothers. We will protect your names, your memories, your honour, and your families until death takes us."
He looked up and smiled at John and Carson as the elder stepped out of the stone circle and they stepped in, extending their hands to each other.
***
John held onto his lovers' hands between thumb and forefinger, feeling them gently cup his hands in theirs. He looked across and saw how tightly Carson's and Rodney's fingers were entwined and sighed, frustrated at the limitations of his broken hands.
As Halling raised his hands and face to the sky and began to intone, "Pere lume tempo eterni..." John bowed his head and closed his eyes, a thrill of excitement, disbelief, fear, and elation shooting through him. He was doing this. He peeked and caught Rodney valiantly trying not to roll his eyes and gave him a grin.
Obviously sensing something with them, Carson opened his eyes and glared at them, but couldn't seem to keep the smile from his face as they both gave him goofy grins. Halling finished his prayer of blessing on the ceremony and the union and nodded to John. "Speak your heart now, Colonel Sheppard."
John swallowed nervously and stood feeling lost for a second, fingers twitching to search his clothing for something he knew he'd left in his regular clothes. The wedding robe didn't have pockets. He looked at Ronon, who produced two small boxes. Well, at least he hadn't forgotten everything.
John grinned apologetically. "I, uh, wrote something to say, but it appears I never gave it to Ronon to hold for me. So, uh... Mostly what I wanted to say was that..." He shook his head, trying to remember what he'd written. "You guys... You've saved my life in so many ways, and I don't mean just physically, and I would do anything for you. Anything. I love you and... I don't see that changing in my lifetime. So..."
He held out his hand and took a box from Ronon and opened it with much difficulty. "Ah. This is my grandfather's wedding ring. I'm giving it to you, Carson, because you're the traditionalist among us." He fumbled it out of the box and took Carson's hand, taking a long and tedious time to slip it on Carson's finger. "With this ring, I thee wed."
He then took the other box from Ronon and opened it. Inside was a plain gunmetal grey ring. "This ring is made of titanium and was a gift from my grandmother when I graduated from the Academy. It's for you, Rodney, because you're always beside me in the hard times." He took Rodney's hand and slipped it on. "With this ring I thee wed."
He took both their hands, then. "And with all my worldly goods, I thee endow."
Relief washed over him. The hard part was done.
"Doctor McKay," Halling prompted.
"Oh. Right." Rodney turned to Teyla and snapped his fingers. John tried to hide his amusement while Carson just looked abashed at Rodney's brusque manner. Rodney seemed completely oblivious to his own lack of courtesy.
***
Rodney fought to keep his nerves in check as he waited for Teyla to hand over the print-out of the words he'd spent considerable time and effort over, trying to put into form something so formless, to understand something as entirely illogical as love.
Teyla rolled her eyes and produced the folded sheet of paper which she handed to Rodney.
"I wrote mine down, too," Rodney said by way of introduction. "It's, ah, a bit more..." He waved his hand vaguely. "... emotional than I usually get, but, uh, since we were getting married and all... Well, anyway..." He unfolded the paper and studied it, clearing his throat, acutely aware of how over-the-top it was and yet how inadequate it felt. He took a breath and plunged in. "Where there has been cold, you have brought warmth; where my life was dark, you have brought light. Your love has given me wings. Wherever this life may carry me, I will stay by your sides as your husband, lover, and friend. John and Carson, I pledge before these our, uh, friends to be your husband from this day forward, to be true to you, to respect you, and to grow with you through the years."
He looked up, then, and caught the gleam of tears in Carson's eyes and the light in John's and looked away, feeling vaguely embarrassed. "Um. Rings?" he asked Teyla.
She smiled warmly at him as she handed him two simple chains with rings on them.
Rodney undid the clasp on the first, sliding it down into his hand and nearly dropping it. "I, uh, knew we couldn't really wear our rings on Atlantis, so I got us some chains." He shoved the chain at Carson, who took it and slipped it over his head while Rodney studied the gold ring in his hand, bittersweet memories making his eyes sting. "This ring belonged to my grandfather Yves. I never knew him, but my grandmother loved him very much... and she was the only one... um... who ever seemed to really... care about me... until..." Rodney shook his head. "Well, until this annoying Scottish witch doctor showed up in Antarctica and somehow became my friend." He looked up at Carson and smiled, tears glimmering in his eyes. "So it seemed only right that you should have this. Um... W-with this ring, I thee wed." He started to take Carson's left hand, realised John's ring was already there and took his right instead, slipping it on Carson's ring finger.
He then held up the other chain, where a faceted ring hung from it. "I don't think this'll fit your ring finger, John, even if I could get to it, since it was made to fit on my little finger. Like the ring you gave me, this isn't a traditional precious metal. In fact, it's steel. I got it by taking another oath when I got my doctorate in engineering. Today, I give it to you. With this ring, I thee wed." He slipped the chain with the ring still on it over John's head.
He smiled at the two men he loved as he took their hands. "Oh! And, uh, with all my worldly goods, I thee endow."
He kept expecting to wake up and find this all a dream, John and Carson gone, the life drained from him, while his mind created a safe, warm place for his consciousness to go until he died. The warmth of Carson's hand in his, the texture of John's splint, even the annoyance of the insects buzzing around, proved that suspicion a lie. It was all too real. He really was here, marrying his two lovers.
***
"Doctor Beckett," Halling said quietly, handing him two boxes.
Carson considered his two beloved men for a moment, deciding what to say. From the back of his mind, the poem came to him, memorised years ago. He cleared his throat and quoted, clear and strong,
"I will make you brooches and toys for your delight
Of bird-song at morning and star-shine at night.
I will make a palace fit for you and me,
Of green days in forests and blue days at sea.
"I will make my kitchen, and you shall keep your room,
Where white flows the river and bright blows the broom,
And you shall wash your linen and keep your body white
In rainfall at morning and dewfall at night.
"And this shall be for music when no one else is near,
The fine song for singing, the rare song to hear!
That only I remember, that only you admire,
Of the broad road that stretches and the roadside fire."
John's eyes were bright, but he wasn't crying. Rodney's eyes glimmered with tears. Carson could feel his own tears brim over and for once in a long while, he didn't fight them.
He opened a box and pulled the ring out, reached out and took John's left hand, slipping a gold ring onto his index finger. "This ring was my father's," he said. His mind seized on the old words. "Tha mise, Carson, a-nis 'gad ghabhail-sa, John, gu bhith 'nam chéile pòsda. Ann am fianais Dhé 's na tha seo de fhianaisean tha mise a' gealltainn a bhith 'nam fhear pòsda dìleas gràdhach agus tairis dhuitsa, gus an dèan Dia leis a' bhàs ar dealachadh. I, Carson, now take you, John, to be my husband. In the presence of God and before these witnesses I promise to be a loving, faithful and loyal husband to you, until God shall separate us by death. I love you, John."
John smiled at him and mouthed, "I love you, too."
Carson opened the other box to reveal another gold ring, this one engraved with detailed knotwork and took Rodney's right hand, slipping it onto his finger. "And this one belonged to my grandfather, Angus Carson. Tha mise, Carson, a-nis 'gad ghabhail-sa, Rodney, gu bhith 'nam chéile pòsda. Ann am fianais Dhé 's na tha seo de fhianaisean tha mise a' gealltainn a bhith 'nam fhear pòsda dìleas gràdhach agus tairis dhuitsa, gus an dèan Dia leis a' bhàs ar dealachadh. I, Carson, now take you, Rodney, to be my husband. In the presence of God and before these witnesses I promise to be a loving, faithful and loyal husband to you, until God shall separate us by death. I love you, Rodney."
Rodney's eyes answered for him and Carson felt like he could soar. He took both their hands. "And all that I have is yours."
***
John watched as Ronon stepped to the edge of the circle and walked around it, looking at each of them in turn. An elderly woman stepped forward and held out a cup to Ronon, who took it and handed it to Carson. "Here is the cup of marriage, filled with dulceruta wine, both bitter and sweet, to remind you that marriage includes both hardship and joy. Drink of it."
Carson drank, making a face and handing it to Rodney, who stared into the cup suspiciously.
"You have an EpiPen handy, just in case, right?" Rodney whispered.
"It doesn't taste citrusy, love," Carson answered in an equally low voice. "But, yes, Teyla, Ronon, and Halling all have one on them."
Rodney nodded and took a small sip and grimaced before handing it on to John.
John kept his eye on Rodney for a moment, but saw no signs of a reaction. He sipped. The wine was, indeed, bitter, with an undertone of sweet spices as well as honey. It would take some getting used to, but it wasn't half-bad.
Ronon took the cup back and handed it to the woman and then stepped back to the place where John's procession had approached the circle. "Your people gift you with wood for your first cook fire, with song, and with joyous celebration. Step out and accept the gift of wood and build your first fire together."
Several people came forward, carrying bundles of wood. They all three left the circle and took the wood offered. John quietly instructed his lovers in how to place it to insure easy ignition and the three of them working together soon had it laid out. As they stepped back, he could hear murmurs of approval.
Teyla, Halling and Ronon all removed the torches from their sconces. Carson and Rodney easily took theirs. Gingerly, John wrapped both hands around his, praying he could carry it the few footsteps into the stone circle without dropping it.
As they all stepped into the circle, he could feel it slipping, his heart pounding. "Guys, I'm losing it," he warned.
As one, Carson and Rodney reached out and took hold and the three of them walked forward together, knelt, and laid their torches on the fire. They stood back and watched as the flames licked out and caught and the fire sprang to life.
A shout went up from the crowd and they turned and smiled as Ronon intoned, "You now drink from one cup. Your flame is one flame. You share in the light and in the darkness. One breath, one heart, one name. In accordance with the traditions of the people of Athos, you are now the family Kerulian."
***
Carson stood, the warmth of the fire at his back, the smiles of the Athosians before him, and John standing beside him, arm wrapped around his waist. Tears slid heedlessly down his face as Teyla's voice lifted in song. The words were in Ancient, but she'd explained it was a traditional song of blessings for children.
Carson smiled as he remembered Rodney's mystification at this when it was explained. "Well, unless the Ancients were a whole lot kinkier than they appear to be, I don't think this union is going to produce children," Rodney had said.
Teyla had merely smiled. "All Athosian weddings end with a song of blessings for children. It is the way it is done."
Teyla's voice soared and then stilled.
The elderly man stepped forward again. "You have shown yourselves united in service to your people and in support of one another, helping where one is weak and accepting help where one is strong. Come now, let us celebrate this union together." He turned to the people. "Bring blankets and dishes and food and let the feast begin!"
AN: Gaudioso is a musical term meaning "with joy"
AN2: The poem Carson quotes is "Romance" by Robert Louis Stevenson.
Next part
Author: SGAtlantisLight
Characters: McKay, Sheppard, Beckett, Zelenka, Emmagan, Dex, Halling
Relationships: Beckett/McKay/Sheppard, Dex/Zelenka implied
Rating: PG-13, though the series as a whole is NC-17
Warnings: Mention of non-con, fluff!
Spoilers: None this part
Summary: They had rescued him, but they had yet to truly bring him safely home. Part of the Aleatoric Life series.
Disclaimer: Undoubtedly I own them, and a whole lot of other things, in some universe, but not this one.
John stuck his head into the bathroom. "Ready to go, Carson?"
Carson frowned at his reflection and messed with his hair more. "Just let me fix this."
"Carson, it looks fine," John said.
Carson sighed and then slowly blew out a breath. "All right. I just... I want everything to be perfect..."
"It won't be. Weddings never are. But it won't matter."
"Aye. You're right. I'll be out in a minute."
"Okay. I'll check on Rodney, then. One minute." John wandered into the kitchen, where Rodney was fussing over the cat, who was purring loudly as he stroked her. "Hey."
Rodney looked up and smiled. "See. I told you she'd learn."
"Yes, Rodney. You are the cat lord." John grinned.
He heard Carson step up behind him a moment before Carson's arms slipped around his waist. John covered Carson's hands with his own.
"So, is Julia set?"
Rodney snickered.
"I want to know what's so funny about Julia," Carson said.
"Do a search on keywords 'fractals,' 'Mandelbrot' and 'Julia' and you'll find out," Rodney answered.
John could tell Carson was eyeing Rodney. "You two are incorrigible."
"Then stop 'incorriging' us," John quipped.
Carson swatted his ass.
"Oooh! I thought we were saving the kinkiness till after the wedding."
"Hello?" Radek called from the other room.
"In here, Radek!" Rodney answered, picking up Julia.
John noted that Radek looked even more rumpled than usual this morning, unshaven, wild-haired. He wasn't certain, but suspected the other man of wearing the same shirt he had the day before. As Radek stepped past him to take Julia from Rodney, John caught a flash of purple low on Radek's throat.
Rodney glanced up and blinked. "Is that a hickey?"
"Rodney!" Carson chided.
John couldn't see Radek's face, but noted that his ears were turning red.
"Sorry, sorry. Never mind. She's been fed, so you won't need to feed her again till this evening. Make sure she has plenty of water and--"
"I know how to take care of her, Rodney. I managed to keep her alive and well for a while before we gave her to you."
"Yes, yes. Sorry. I'm just nervous. Um. About leaving her all day and all. I mean... after the trauma she suffered, I don't want her to feel abandoned or..."
"We've got a Puddle Jumper waiting," John interrupted. "Not to mention Teyla and Ronon. Best to get a move on."
"Right. Bye, sweetie. We'll see you tonight, okay? Okay."
"She'll be fine, love," Carson assured him.
"Enjoy your trip," Radek said. "And fly straight, Rodney."
"Haha! That joke never gets old, Radek."
It felt strange walking down the halls of Atlantis, knowing they were getting married today. No one knew except the three of them and Teyla and Ronon. John wondered how many people they passed would approve.
"Morning, sir," Alvarez said as they arrived in the jumper bay. "All your things are secure."
"Thank you, sergeant. I appreciated the help."
"No problem, sir. Have a good day on the Mainland, sir."
"Oh, I intend to, sergeant... I intend to..."
***
"Is this really necessary?" Rodney asked uncomfortably, clutching at his clothing as he eyed the tub.
"One must be cleansed before the ceremony, yes," the Athosian man answered.
"And you have to be here?"
The Athosian paused. "Well, if you would rather, Teyla could perform the cleansing ritual..."
Rodney gulped. "Oh. No, no! You'll do fine."
***
John settled into the scented water, carefully holding his hands up and away. "Wow. That's almost too hot."
Ronon nodded. "It's supposed to draw any impurities from your body." He eyed the tray of jars and then quickly shucked his shirt. "You don't mind?"
John shrugged. "Not a problem."
Ronon brought the tray over next to the tub, knelt and set it on the floor, before picking up the cloth. "While you're bathing, you're supposed to be meditating on your future spouses and any anger or resentment you might be harboring against them. As you are cleansed, you're to release those feelings and forgive them their shortcomings and know that they are doing the same, so that you might enter your marriage bed free of guilt or anger."
"Okay," John said. He sat back and frowned at Ronon. "That's quite a bite mark you have there. Wild night last night?"
Ronon's only answer was a grin.
"Should I ask who she is?"
"He. And you can ask, but it's private."
"Ah. I see." A thought occurred to him, but it seemed so unlikely...
"You're not supposed to be thinking about me anyway. Think about McKay and Beckett."
"Right. Sorry."
***
"Oh, that smells lovely," Carson said as Halling rubbed scented oil into his skin.
"Mistflower oil. It will be in the wedding tent for your use."
"The wedding tent?"
"Yes. You will see it as we leave-- decorated with flowers."
Carson licked his lips. "And, what exactly is a wedding tent used for?"
***
"Wait, what? They expect us to go have sex while everyone's feasting?" Rodney asked.
"Only after you have joined in the celebration for some time. You are not expected to miss the feast," Teyla assured him.
"But... everyone would know!"
Teyla blinked. "I do not believe there is anyone who is ignorant of what occurs between mates after they are married."
"That's different!"
"I do not understand. I have spoken with Doctor Weir about a tradition among your people called a 'honeymoon.' How is this any different?"
"One doesn't usually have people standing outside your hotel room door eating canapes and chatting while you consummate the marriage."
Teyla looked puzzled. "It would be... most unusual for a new marriage group not to make use of the wedding tent. Indeed, I do not recall any time where such a thing has occurred. It would cause great concern in the community."
"Well, that's a good reason to have sex, then!"
Teyla sighed and took his hands. "You must follow your heart in this matter. I merely tell you what my people's tradition is. My people are much more... open about such matters. Your people value privacy a great deal more than mine do. If it happens that you do not make use of the tent, I will explain this to them. All right?"
Rodney smiled and squeezed her hands. "Um. Yeah. Thanks."
"But, please, do not hesitate to make use of the hospitality if you feel comfortable."
"Not gonna happen," Rodney muttered, pulling his hands away to fiddle with the belt on his robe again. "Have I got this tied right?"
"Here. Allow me."
"I can't believe I'm doing this."
"Getting married?" she asked.
Rodney nodded. "Yeah. I just... well, I'm not good at... things..."
She smiled. "Even those who are not good at 'things' may still find love, Rodney. Celebrate it while you can." There was a sadness in her eyes he'd never noticed before.
He looked at her dumbfounded. He'd never really thought about Teyla's past. "Teyla?"
"Three years before you arrived, a raiding party took several of our people, presumably to be slaves. My husband, wife, and our three children were among them."
"I'm sorry."
"There are many reasons besides trade that the Athosians require access to the gate. I still hope every time I step through to a new planet." She nodded. "It is time."
***
John smoothed down the embroidered hem of his sleeve and smiled nervously at Ronon. "I guess I'm ready."
"You'll do fine."
"Yeah. Fine." John shook his head. "I'm so screwed if the Air Force ever gets wind of this."
Ronon glanced to where John was studying the bright red tracery on his sleeve. "The red is for blood-- the blood of new life, the blood you'd be willing to shed for them, the blood you'd spill for them."
"I've certainly done a lot of those last two lately."
"If you're willing to kill for them, to die for them..." Ronon let the thought dangle.
John smiled and took a slow breath. "Yeah. They're worth it."
***
Carson checked that his belt was secure, fingering the red-embroidered parven leaves and stylised tirit birds-- Athosian symbols of healing and healers-- and smiled at his own nervousness. He doubted either of his lovers had ever appeared in public in anything other than pants, with undergarments keeping themselves in place. He had the advantage over them there, but the slick, silky fabric of the golden robe was much thinner than the wool kilt he'd left on Earth and he had visions of some embarrassing failure of the belt.
Halling smiled at him. "The belt will hold, Doctor Beckett, I assure you."
"Sorry. I suppose I'm just nervous."
"That is to be expected. I hope you are also joyful?"
"Oh, aye! Quite. The only thing that would make it better would be for my mother to be here."
"I should very much like to meet your mother," Halling said. "She sounds like a fine woman."
"Oh, she is. And she loves John and Rodney to no end."
"Then she will be happy for you. Come, Doctor Beckett, it is time."
***
Rodney followed Teyla out of the tent and looked across the clearing, where Carson was following Halling out of a tent and John, Ronon. Both his lovers were dressed in silken robes in a bright shade of goldenrod with crimson embroidery on the hems and belts. Teyla had told him the stitching on the robes was identical-- the constellations Thulan and Arga, custodians of marriage, repeated-- but the belts were individually decorated. His bore balance scales and skran birds, symbols of knowledge and wisdom.
Between them was a large stone circle, representative, he'd been told, of the gate and, therefore, passages. Weddings, funerals, naming ceremonies, rites of passage to adulthood, installation of leaders, all these ceremonies and others would be performed within the ring. At the edge of the clearing, at the treeline, stood the Athosians-- every man, woman, and child of them.
Rodney concentrated on walking without tripping. The last thing he needed was to trip and end up sprawled and exposed on the ground.
He glanced up and Carson smiled at him encouragingly, then looked at John, who gave him a nervous grin. The three processions stopped outside the stone circle, John on his left and Carson on his right, then Teyla, Halling, and Ronon each placed a lit torch in the sconces equidistant around the ring and entered it.
As "family" of the youngest of them, Halling spoke first. "I, Halling Niratan, spiritual brother and representative of the family of Carson Beckett, son of James and Miera Beckett, approve of this marriage and these men, Rodney McKay and John Sheppard."
Teyla was next. "I, Teyla Emmagan, spiritual sister and representative of the family of Rodney McKay, son of Matthew and Patricia McKay, brother of Jeannie McKay-Miller, approve of this marriage and these men, John Sheppard and Carson Beckett."
"I, Ronon Dex, spiritual brother and representative of the family of John Sheppard, son of Alaina Sheppard, grandson of Norman and Esther Sheppard, approve of this marriage and these men, Carson Beckett and Rodney McKay," Ronon intoned.
One of the more elderly men of the Athosians stepped forward into the circle as the three "family members" withdrew. "The joining is approved by the families. What do the people say?"
There was silence.
John stepped forward and nervously cleared his throat. "I offer to the children and youth of my adoptive people my football and surfboard."
There were excited whispers among the children.
Rodney nervously stepped forward. "I offer six laptop computers with educational programs, video games, and other software."
There were more murmurs and a few smiles from parents.
Carson stepped forward. "I bring gifts for the youngest children of my new people-- soft blankets and clothing."
"For the warriors and fighters, I offer the spoils of many battles-- knives, swords, bows, and guns," John stated.
"For the farmers, I offer tools of finest and hardest steel," Rodney said, biting his lip.
"For all the people, I bring medicine and the gift of the finest foods from Earth and this galaxy-- coffee, tea, chocolate, jams, sweets, whiskey, beer, wine, Arlatian candies, the waters of Maseire, and Hindalon seed cakes."
"Furthermore," Rodney added, "we bring a distilling apparatus, courtesy of Doctor Beckett with improvements made by myself."
"And, finally, from all of us to all of you, we bring the gift of our own culture," John said. "We have, ready to be installed, a DVD projector and a collection of the best movies and music of Earth." John grinned at the excited chatter. "And a popcorn maker, with popcorn, butter and salt, in order to experience the movies properly."
The elder Athosian took a moment to turn and take in all the faces. "What do the people say?"
"The family Isharom approves!" someone from the crowd called out.
"The family Niratan approves," Jinto shouted, earning a smile from Halling.
Others piped in, speaking on top of each other until the elder raised his hand and turned and nodded to each of them. "You have brought great gifts to our people. You bring great honour as well. You are now our people and we are yours. Your pain is our pain, your honour is our honour, your children are our children. We hold you as brothers, as sons, as fathers. We will protect your names, your memories, your honour, your descendants, and your marriage forevermore."
Rodney joined with John and Carson in repeating the oath. "You are now our people and we are yours. Your pain is our pain, your honour is our honour, your children are our children. We hold you as brothers and sisters, as sons and daughters, as fathers and mothers, as grandfathers and grandmothers. We will protect your names, your memories, your honour, and your families until death takes us."
He looked up and smiled at John and Carson as the elder stepped out of the stone circle and they stepped in, extending their hands to each other.
***
John held onto his lovers' hands between thumb and forefinger, feeling them gently cup his hands in theirs. He looked across and saw how tightly Carson's and Rodney's fingers were entwined and sighed, frustrated at the limitations of his broken hands.
As Halling raised his hands and face to the sky and began to intone, "Pere lume tempo eterni..." John bowed his head and closed his eyes, a thrill of excitement, disbelief, fear, and elation shooting through him. He was doing this. He peeked and caught Rodney valiantly trying not to roll his eyes and gave him a grin.
Obviously sensing something with them, Carson opened his eyes and glared at them, but couldn't seem to keep the smile from his face as they both gave him goofy grins. Halling finished his prayer of blessing on the ceremony and the union and nodded to John. "Speak your heart now, Colonel Sheppard."
John swallowed nervously and stood feeling lost for a second, fingers twitching to search his clothing for something he knew he'd left in his regular clothes. The wedding robe didn't have pockets. He looked at Ronon, who produced two small boxes. Well, at least he hadn't forgotten everything.
John grinned apologetically. "I, uh, wrote something to say, but it appears I never gave it to Ronon to hold for me. So, uh... Mostly what I wanted to say was that..." He shook his head, trying to remember what he'd written. "You guys... You've saved my life in so many ways, and I don't mean just physically, and I would do anything for you. Anything. I love you and... I don't see that changing in my lifetime. So..."
He held out his hand and took a box from Ronon and opened it with much difficulty. "Ah. This is my grandfather's wedding ring. I'm giving it to you, Carson, because you're the traditionalist among us." He fumbled it out of the box and took Carson's hand, taking a long and tedious time to slip it on Carson's finger. "With this ring, I thee wed."
He then took the other box from Ronon and opened it. Inside was a plain gunmetal grey ring. "This ring is made of titanium and was a gift from my grandmother when I graduated from the Academy. It's for you, Rodney, because you're always beside me in the hard times." He took Rodney's hand and slipped it on. "With this ring I thee wed."
He took both their hands, then. "And with all my worldly goods, I thee endow."
Relief washed over him. The hard part was done.
"Doctor McKay," Halling prompted.
"Oh. Right." Rodney turned to Teyla and snapped his fingers. John tried to hide his amusement while Carson just looked abashed at Rodney's brusque manner. Rodney seemed completely oblivious to his own lack of courtesy.
***
Rodney fought to keep his nerves in check as he waited for Teyla to hand over the print-out of the words he'd spent considerable time and effort over, trying to put into form something so formless, to understand something as entirely illogical as love.
Teyla rolled her eyes and produced the folded sheet of paper which she handed to Rodney.
"I wrote mine down, too," Rodney said by way of introduction. "It's, ah, a bit more..." He waved his hand vaguely. "... emotional than I usually get, but, uh, since we were getting married and all... Well, anyway..." He unfolded the paper and studied it, clearing his throat, acutely aware of how over-the-top it was and yet how inadequate it felt. He took a breath and plunged in. "Where there has been cold, you have brought warmth; where my life was dark, you have brought light. Your love has given me wings. Wherever this life may carry me, I will stay by your sides as your husband, lover, and friend. John and Carson, I pledge before these our, uh, friends to be your husband from this day forward, to be true to you, to respect you, and to grow with you through the years."
He looked up, then, and caught the gleam of tears in Carson's eyes and the light in John's and looked away, feeling vaguely embarrassed. "Um. Rings?" he asked Teyla.
She smiled warmly at him as she handed him two simple chains with rings on them.
Rodney undid the clasp on the first, sliding it down into his hand and nearly dropping it. "I, uh, knew we couldn't really wear our rings on Atlantis, so I got us some chains." He shoved the chain at Carson, who took it and slipped it over his head while Rodney studied the gold ring in his hand, bittersweet memories making his eyes sting. "This ring belonged to my grandfather Yves. I never knew him, but my grandmother loved him very much... and she was the only one... um... who ever seemed to really... care about me... until..." Rodney shook his head. "Well, until this annoying Scottish witch doctor showed up in Antarctica and somehow became my friend." He looked up at Carson and smiled, tears glimmering in his eyes. "So it seemed only right that you should have this. Um... W-with this ring, I thee wed." He started to take Carson's left hand, realised John's ring was already there and took his right instead, slipping it on Carson's ring finger.
He then held up the other chain, where a faceted ring hung from it. "I don't think this'll fit your ring finger, John, even if I could get to it, since it was made to fit on my little finger. Like the ring you gave me, this isn't a traditional precious metal. In fact, it's steel. I got it by taking another oath when I got my doctorate in engineering. Today, I give it to you. With this ring, I thee wed." He slipped the chain with the ring still on it over John's head.
He smiled at the two men he loved as he took their hands. "Oh! And, uh, with all my worldly goods, I thee endow."
He kept expecting to wake up and find this all a dream, John and Carson gone, the life drained from him, while his mind created a safe, warm place for his consciousness to go until he died. The warmth of Carson's hand in his, the texture of John's splint, even the annoyance of the insects buzzing around, proved that suspicion a lie. It was all too real. He really was here, marrying his two lovers.
***
"Doctor Beckett," Halling said quietly, handing him two boxes.
Carson considered his two beloved men for a moment, deciding what to say. From the back of his mind, the poem came to him, memorised years ago. He cleared his throat and quoted, clear and strong,
"I will make you brooches and toys for your delight
Of bird-song at morning and star-shine at night.
I will make a palace fit for you and me,
Of green days in forests and blue days at sea.
"I will make my kitchen, and you shall keep your room,
Where white flows the river and bright blows the broom,
And you shall wash your linen and keep your body white
In rainfall at morning and dewfall at night.
"And this shall be for music when no one else is near,
The fine song for singing, the rare song to hear!
That only I remember, that only you admire,
Of the broad road that stretches and the roadside fire."
John's eyes were bright, but he wasn't crying. Rodney's eyes glimmered with tears. Carson could feel his own tears brim over and for once in a long while, he didn't fight them.
He opened a box and pulled the ring out, reached out and took John's left hand, slipping a gold ring onto his index finger. "This ring was my father's," he said. His mind seized on the old words. "Tha mise, Carson, a-nis 'gad ghabhail-sa, John, gu bhith 'nam chéile pòsda. Ann am fianais Dhé 's na tha seo de fhianaisean tha mise a' gealltainn a bhith 'nam fhear pòsda dìleas gràdhach agus tairis dhuitsa, gus an dèan Dia leis a' bhàs ar dealachadh. I, Carson, now take you, John, to be my husband. In the presence of God and before these witnesses I promise to be a loving, faithful and loyal husband to you, until God shall separate us by death. I love you, John."
John smiled at him and mouthed, "I love you, too."
Carson opened the other box to reveal another gold ring, this one engraved with detailed knotwork and took Rodney's right hand, slipping it onto his finger. "And this one belonged to my grandfather, Angus Carson. Tha mise, Carson, a-nis 'gad ghabhail-sa, Rodney, gu bhith 'nam chéile pòsda. Ann am fianais Dhé 's na tha seo de fhianaisean tha mise a' gealltainn a bhith 'nam fhear pòsda dìleas gràdhach agus tairis dhuitsa, gus an dèan Dia leis a' bhàs ar dealachadh. I, Carson, now take you, Rodney, to be my husband. In the presence of God and before these witnesses I promise to be a loving, faithful and loyal husband to you, until God shall separate us by death. I love you, Rodney."
Rodney's eyes answered for him and Carson felt like he could soar. He took both their hands. "And all that I have is yours."
***
John watched as Ronon stepped to the edge of the circle and walked around it, looking at each of them in turn. An elderly woman stepped forward and held out a cup to Ronon, who took it and handed it to Carson. "Here is the cup of marriage, filled with dulceruta wine, both bitter and sweet, to remind you that marriage includes both hardship and joy. Drink of it."
Carson drank, making a face and handing it to Rodney, who stared into the cup suspiciously.
"You have an EpiPen handy, just in case, right?" Rodney whispered.
"It doesn't taste citrusy, love," Carson answered in an equally low voice. "But, yes, Teyla, Ronon, and Halling all have one on them."
Rodney nodded and took a small sip and grimaced before handing it on to John.
John kept his eye on Rodney for a moment, but saw no signs of a reaction. He sipped. The wine was, indeed, bitter, with an undertone of sweet spices as well as honey. It would take some getting used to, but it wasn't half-bad.
Ronon took the cup back and handed it to the woman and then stepped back to the place where John's procession had approached the circle. "Your people gift you with wood for your first cook fire, with song, and with joyous celebration. Step out and accept the gift of wood and build your first fire together."
Several people came forward, carrying bundles of wood. They all three left the circle and took the wood offered. John quietly instructed his lovers in how to place it to insure easy ignition and the three of them working together soon had it laid out. As they stepped back, he could hear murmurs of approval.
Teyla, Halling and Ronon all removed the torches from their sconces. Carson and Rodney easily took theirs. Gingerly, John wrapped both hands around his, praying he could carry it the few footsteps into the stone circle without dropping it.
As they all stepped into the circle, he could feel it slipping, his heart pounding. "Guys, I'm losing it," he warned.
As one, Carson and Rodney reached out and took hold and the three of them walked forward together, knelt, and laid their torches on the fire. They stood back and watched as the flames licked out and caught and the fire sprang to life.
A shout went up from the crowd and they turned and smiled as Ronon intoned, "You now drink from one cup. Your flame is one flame. You share in the light and in the darkness. One breath, one heart, one name. In accordance with the traditions of the people of Athos, you are now the family Kerulian."
***
Carson stood, the warmth of the fire at his back, the smiles of the Athosians before him, and John standing beside him, arm wrapped around his waist. Tears slid heedlessly down his face as Teyla's voice lifted in song. The words were in Ancient, but she'd explained it was a traditional song of blessings for children.
Carson smiled as he remembered Rodney's mystification at this when it was explained. "Well, unless the Ancients were a whole lot kinkier than they appear to be, I don't think this union is going to produce children," Rodney had said.
Teyla had merely smiled. "All Athosian weddings end with a song of blessings for children. It is the way it is done."
Teyla's voice soared and then stilled.
The elderly man stepped forward again. "You have shown yourselves united in service to your people and in support of one another, helping where one is weak and accepting help where one is strong. Come now, let us celebrate this union together." He turned to the people. "Bring blankets and dishes and food and let the feast begin!"
AN: Gaudioso is a musical term meaning "with joy"
AN2: The poem Carson quotes is "Romance" by Robert Louis Stevenson.
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