Fanfiction - From the Archive! October 13, 2014
Story #2 of The Letter Trilogy. For an explanation, see This Post for story #1 and the history behind all of this.
Story: Resolution
Word Count: ~3700
Genre: Gen/Missing Scene
Characters: John Sheppard, OC, Elizabeth Weir, Jack O’Neill, others
Warnings: None
Summary:Missing scene from between SiegeIII and Intruder. Follow up story to The Letter, but it is a standalone story. John is promoted to Lt. Colonel...and takes care of some long overdue, unfinished business. Written in December of 2005.
Resolution ~
An entry for the Promotion Celebration Contest
Part 2 of The Letter Trilogy
********************************************************************************************
NOTE: This story is a stand alone, but does refer to the events of my previous story “The Letter.” You may want to read it first.
********************************************************************************************
John tugged absently on the collar of his dress uniform as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Clean and pressed perfectly, not one wrinkle showed on the blue jacket or crisp shirt underneath it. One corner of John’s mouth turned up in amusement as he thought about his past year in Atlantis. He chuckled. He couldn’t remember the last time his clothes were this orderly…or clean for that matter. He tugged again at the restrictive collar. Damn, he hated these dress uniforms. He always felt like he was being strangled. John’s eyes settled on the gold leaves on his collar…his Major leaves.
“You keep pulling stunts like that, you’ll never make it past Captain!”
“It was the right thing to do, Dad!”
“Damn it, John! Why can’t you just follow orders?”
“Major?”
John turned and smiled at Sergeant Harriman. “Yes, Sergeant?”
“They’re ready for you, sir,” Walter responded.
John nodded and paused, staring at the short Sergeant for a moment, as Walter continued to stand in his doorway. “Uhh…Thanks. That’ll be all, Sergeant,” John added.
“Yes, sir,” Harriman nodded before walking away.
John turned back and looked at himself one last time in the mirror, his eyes once more drawn to his Major leaves. “Never make it past Captain,” he whispered, before a wistful smile crossed his face. He’d wanted to see his dad, but ever since they’d stepped through the Stargate back to the SGC, he hadn’t had one minute to call his own. Briefings, one interview after another, choosing replacement personnel…and fighting to stay assigned to Atlantis, had taken all his time. John’s gaze narrowed slightly.
Fighting to stay assigned to Atlantis…
That confused him more than anything. It seemed General Landry had been bound and determined to reassign him and John had tiptoed the line of protocol with the General more than once, as he fought for a place on Atlantis. John shook his head, his confusion deepening. Only the day before, he’d been served with his promotion and the General’s attitude had changed. It was subtle, and Landry still didn’t seem thrilled about letting John return to the Ancient city, but he no longer addressed the issue. Something had changed, something…big had happened, but no matter how much John pushed with Landry, or Caldwell, or even Elizabeth, he was still in the dark.
“Ready to go back to Earth, Major?”
John smiled at Elizabeth. “Only for a visit…”
From the moment he’d stepped through the Stargate, John had made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t leave Earth without seeing his dad. For better or worse, he was going to do it. The events of the past few weeks had changed him. Never again would he face his own death with the regret that he hadn’t told his father everything he wanted…needed to say.
He sighed and grabbed his hat, tucking it neatly under his arm. First thing was first though. Turning briskly, John exited his quarters and walked down the long hallway to the Gate Room. At the doorway, he stopped as two guards snapped to attention, saluting him. John took a deep breath, oddly amused at the butterflies in his stomach. Acknowledging the guards, he walked past them and stopped, standing at near attention in the doorway as the Attention to Orders was called. His eyes drifted around, scanning the crowd. There were a lot of unfamiliar faces, which surprised him, but John found comfort from those he recognized. He made brief eye contact with Elizabeth, who, in spite of her serious expression, flashed him a quick, small smile in reassurance. Next to her were McKay and Beckett. John drew strength from the presence of his friends from Atlantis. A pang of guilt shot through him as he unavoidably noticed a missing face. John sighed.
Ford.
Deep inside him, John wanted to return to Atlantis for a lot of reasons, not the least of which he couldn’t imagine serving anywhere else, but undeniably, John had to go back, if only to find Ford and bring him home. He should be here. John shook off the thought, and pushed away the guilt he felt, forcing himself to focus on the ceremony.
“Major John Sheppard.”
John’s attention focused on General Landry, who stood at the top of the ramp, right in front of the Gate. Smartly, John crossed the Gate Room, turned and walked up the long ramp towards the General.
Flanking Landry, Colonel Caldwell stared at John. The Colonel’s expression was carefully neutral, and John resisted the urge to quirk an eyebrow at it. John had seen enough of those practiced expressions to know exactly what the Colonel was thinking. He wasn’t convinced John’s promotion or return to Atlantis was the right thing. Of that, John was sure. He suppressed a shrug. It wasn’t the first time he’d faced that attitude in his career.
On Landry’s other side, to John’s surprise, General Jack O’Neill took no pains to hide his pleasure. Not smiling openly, the General’s face still held hints of amusement, crossed with elements of smugness. John barely kept himself from shaking his head at the General’s expression. O’Neill seemed pleased with himself more than anything else, and looked like he wanted to burst out with three verses of the ‘I told you so!’ chorus.
John refocused his attention on Landry, if only to keep from smiling at O’Neill. He stopped in front of the General and saluted, before standing at attention.
Landry stared evenly back for a moment, before looking away to read the Promotion Warrant.
John listened patiently, as Landry read the warrant. He fought his body’s inclination to blush, as the words “meritorious conduct” and “above and beyond the call of duty” echoed around him. Those words were for a hero, and John never saw himself as one. He only did what he thought was right…what had to be done, to save and defend the people he was sworn to protect…the people he cared about. Once again, his thoughts drifted to Ford. Cynicism took over for a moment, as he reflected on the young Lieutenant. Above and beyond? Tell that to Ford… Internally, John shrugged off the guilt and focused again on Landry, as the General reached up and replaced his gold Major leaves, with silver Lieutenant Colonel ones. Stepping back, Landry snapped John a salute, which he returned.
John turned and saluted General O’Neill, who winked back at him as he saluted in return. John saluted Colonel Caldwell next. Caldwell returned the salute and stared hard at him, before John looked away.
The ceremony over, John allowed himself to relax. Landry and Caldwell walked down the ramp, but O’Neill stopped next to John.
“General,” John nodded in recognition as he turned to face O’Neill.
O’Neill smiled. “Colonel.” Jack looked back at the Gate for a moment, before returning his gaze to John. “Still think you shouldn’t have gone?”
Now it was John’s turn to look at the Gate. He smiled and quirked a sarcastic eyebrow at O’Neill. “You should’ve asked me that question a week ago. You probably wouldn’t have liked my answer, sir.”
Jack grinned. “Ah yes. Death…bodily harm…peril. The stuff good Stargate adventures are made of. You’d be bored without it, Sheppard.”
John chuckled. “Yes, sir, I suppose I would.”
Jack’s smile faded, but warmth and approval still lingered in his expression. “Congratulations, Colonel.”
John nodded back. “Thank you, sir.”
Jack walked down the ramp, leaving John standing alone. He stared at the inactive gate, his thoughts drifting a galaxy away, back to Atlantis…and Ford. Symbolic of the never-ending quest for knowledge, and for the acknowledgment of the courage to step into the unknown, the Gate held John’s attention. Somewhere out there, his Lieutenant wandered, and John vowed that he’d find Ford someday.
“Irresistible, isn’t it?”
Pulled from his thoughts, John turned and smiled at Weir, McKay and Beckett who walked up the ramp towards him. His attention fixed on Elizabeth, who smiled warmly at him.
“Congratulations, Colonel.”
Her sentiment was echoed by McKay and Beckett.
John smiled. “Thanks. Feels kind of weird.”
“Yes, well, I was rather fond of calling you “Major” myself,” Rodney quipped.
John cocked an eyebrow at McKay. “I was rather used to being a Major. I, uh…was one for a long time.”
“Well you deserve it, John,” Elizabeth responded.
“Aye,” Beckett agreed.
Rodney sighed and looked around. “I can’t believe I come all the way back from Pegasus, and Colonel Carter can’t even take the time to be here…” he turned, walking down the ramp as Carson shook his head and followed.
“It’s not like she plans her life around you, Rodney,” Carson answered.
“Yes, well, her loss,” McKay quipped before the two disappeared into the crowd.
John chuckled and looked back to Weir. “This Colonel Carter must be something to get McKay like that.” He quirked an eyebrow, “I think I need to meet her sometime.”
“Hmm…” Elizabeth nodded, “I think you’d like her, John. Now that we have access to and from Atlantis, maybe she’ll make it there.”
John’s attention returned to the gate and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Elizabeth staring at it too. John sighed. “I’m just glad to be going back. For a while there, I was wondering…” his voice trailed off as he pointedly looked at her.
Sensing his gaze, Elizabeth looked at him. “What?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking that?” John quickly replied. “When we first got back here, they didn’t seem too thrilled with the idea of sending me back to Atlantis. Then all the sudden the brass does a one eighty, promotes me, and gives me command over Atlantis’ military contingent.” He knowingly arched both brows at Elizabeth. “I’ve been in the military and around brass long enough to know none of them change their minds that fast.” John’s gaze narrowed. “What happened?”
Elizabeth’s face was neutral as she stared back. “You don’t think your actions merited any of this?”
John slowly shook his head. “Not entirely. It was more than that…” confident in his assumption, he leaned towards her slightly, “and you know it.”
Elizabeth smiled slightly and nodded once. “I should’ve known none of this would get past you, John.” Her gaze sobered. “They didn’t want to send you back. Despite everything you did to save Atlantis more than once, they were worried about you…and the chain of command.”
John inhaled deeply and looked away. “I figured as much.” He looked down as Elizabeth’s hand briefly settled on his forearm.
“John, I never once considered not having you back on Atlantis. But even though I had a frank conversation with the President, and everyone, including General Landry, recognized your amazing achievements in protecting Atlantis and its personnel, it still wasn’t enough.”
He was unable to tear his eyes from hers, as Elizabeth’s grip on his arm tightened.
“Never doubt that you earned this, John. You deserve it.”
He smiled and nodded. “So what was it? If not you, then who did have the final say?”
Elizabeth grinned. “General O’Neill.”
John’s jaw dropped in amazement for a moment, before he started chuckling. “You’re kidding.”
Elizabeth’s light laughter joined his. “No. I was there. I believe his exact words were ‘For crying out loud, just promote him already!’”
John looked across the Gate Room as personnel continued filing out the doors. He caught glance of General O’Neill, who smiled back at him. His laughter fading, John’s gaze narrowed as he nodded slowly at the General.
O’Neill just smiled back for a moment, before exiting the Gate Room.
John started to look back to Elizabeth, but his gaze never reached her. Unconsciously, his eyes caught on a tall, fit man of advancing years, who stared silently at him. Rocked, John’s jaw dropped as he literally felt the color drained from his face.
“John?”
Elizabeth’s concerned words broke through his shock. Without tearing his eyes from the man John just whispered. “Dad.”
Had he looked, John would’ve seen Elizabeth nod and smile knowingly. As it is, he only heard her voice.
“Given your father’s high level, military background, it wasn’t hard to get him security clearance to be here.”
Once again, John felt Elizabeth squeeze his arm.
“Talk to him, John. I think you both need it.” Elizabeth slowly walked down the ramp and exited the room with the last of the personnel.
Rooted in place, John could only stare at Marcus Sheppard, who just looked evenly back at him. John didn’t know where to begin…how to tell his dad what he needed to…or even what to say. John just stared as a tidal wave of conflicting emotions raced through him. Love, anger, guilt, remorse, they all made their presence known and left him strangely silent in their wake.
Marcus Sheppard finally quirked an eyebrow, in a fashion strangely familiar to John and slowly walked up the ramp to stand in front of the Gate. Never looking at his son, the senior Sheppard’s eyes slowly traveled around the gate, from one end to the other. “So, this is what you’ve been doing for the last year.”
John swallowed hard and licked his lips nervously. “Yeah. It’s a Stargate.”
His expression stern, Marcus looked at John. “I know. General Hammond briefed me once the President gave his okay to my clearance.”
Feeling chastised, John sighed and looked away, berating himself for thinking anything would be different between him and his dad. Uncomfortable with the long silence, John looked at his father, who was staring intently back at him.
Marcus pulled in a deep breath and again looked at the gate. “Extraordinary. Almost makes me wish I was still in the service.”
“Yeah, it is,” John followed his father’s gaze to the gate. “It’s made my life interesting.” Feeling his father’s stare, John looked at his dad, his eyes narrowing. The retired Colonel had a peculiar look on his face. “Dad? Everything okay?”
Marcus Sheppard pursed his lips. “The President…he was generous enough to allow me to read the mission reports.” His expression hardened slightly. “You made some mistakes, son.”
John’s gut clenched painfully. He hadn’t known what his father was going to say, but at the same time, John criticized himself for not expecting this. Compounded with the lingering guilt he carried because of those mistakes, John felt like someone had kicked him in the gut. He bowed his head. “Yeah, I did.”
“No argument this time?”
Anger sparked in John, but he pursed his lips and stayed silent. There was nothing left to be said. His father and him had gone down this path too many times before, and John felt no desire to do it again. They’d never see eye to eye, and that was something he figured he’d have to live with. “No.”
John slowly looked up as he felt a strong hand settle on his shoulder. John’s eyes widened slightly at the pride he saw in his father’s gaze.
“You also did some incredible things, John. I…” He shook his head in amazement. “Your bravery, courage…valor…” Struggling to find the right words, Marcus just sighed. “I couldn’t be more proud of you than I am right now.” He glanced down at the silver oak leaves on John’s collar before once more looking his son in the eyes. “You deserve this.”
A painful lump constricted John’s throat as he just stared back at his father. He felt his brows twitch, his lips move, but his mind was blank…all thought smothered by emotion. He was at a loss for words. Fighting back his emotions, John stepped forward and pulled his father into a strong embrace. After a moment, he felt his dad’s stiffness melt away as he returned John’s hug. John closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. For years, he’d wanted…needed his father’s approval, and every time it was denied to him, bitterness grew within him. Now, finally, he had the approval he’d wanted for so long, but it didn’t matter to him. All that mattered to John at this moment was that his father knew how he felt. John opened his eyes. “I’m sorry, Dad…” he whispered, “for everything.” Once again, his eyes slid shut as Marcus’ grip tightened.
“So am I.”
They held the embrace a moment longer, before both men stepped back from one another. Part of John was still surprised to see the level of emotion in his father’s eyes that John knew was in his. A small smile popped to John’s face in response to the one his dad suddenly wore.
“Congratulations, Colonel,” Marcus winked.
John grinned. “Thank you, Colonel.” He pulled in a deep breath. “I think there’s a small party in the Mess that I don’t think I can get out of.”
Marcus Sheppard returned the expression. “We’d best get over there then.” Turning he walked down the ramp towards the right side door.
John paused and glanced at the Gate. A small smile popped to his face. With all the mysteries and amazing things he’d seen and learned since stepping through it, the last thing John ever thought the Stargate would give him was reconciliation with his father. He shook his head slightly.
“John?”
His dad’s voice grabbed John’s attention. “Coming.” John quickly walked down the ramp and joined his father as they left the Gate Room.
Entering the Mess, John’s face flushed in embarrassment as a round of applause greeted him. He waved, a sheepish grin covering his face as he scanned the crowd for a certain face. John’s search was interrupted by his father’s voice.
“I’ll be back, John. I’d like to speak with General O’Neill.”
John nodded and smiled at his father before once again scanning the room. His gaze stopped as it settled on the face of Elizabeth Weir. Purposefully, John crossed the room, weaving in and out of people, quickly and politely acknowledging them as he made his way towards Weir. Finally, he found himself standing before her. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Elizabeth’s gaze narrowed, but she nodded and followed him towards the Mess door.
“Colonel?”
John paused and nodded at General Landry. “I’ll be right back, sir.” Nodding as the General gave his leave, John walked out the Mess door and stopped in the deserted hallway. He turned and faced Elizabeth, as the door closed behind her.
“What is it, John?” she asked. Her face was dominated by a ready smile, but her dark eyes narrowed in curiosity.
John knew the look well. It was her ‘is something wrong?’ look. He smiled. “Everything’s fine. I just wanted…” John pursed his lips and fidgeted slightly. He squinted slightly at her. “Was it your idea for my father to be given clearance to come here?”
A knowing look crossed Weir’s face as her smile turned to one of warm sincerity. “I thought it would be good for the two of you to talk. When I explained your father’s past military career to the President…well, it didn’t take too much convincing.” She arched an eyebrow. “Your father is very well known, John.”
John rolled his eyes in amusement. Part of him was pleasantly surprised that he was more amused than irritated. Usually, at the mention of the illustrious career of Colonel Marcus Sheppard, John would find himself on the defensive, but this new found reconciliation had done more than clear his conscious, it has cleansed his soul. He grinned. “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.”
Weir nodded her expression sobering. “You never spoke much about it, but I suspected things weren’t right between you and your father.” She reached inside her dress coat and pulled out a sealed, white envelope. “When you gave me this, I knew if we ever got back to Earth, I owed it to you to make sure you and your father spoke again.”
Stunned, John stared down at the envelope in Elizabeth’s hand. Instantly a connection was made in his head as he reached out and slowly took it from her. “Is this…”
“Yes,” Elizabeth interrupted. “It’s the letter to your father you gave me before the Wraith arrived in Atlantis.” She smiled. “I promised to give it to your father if you never made it back. I’m happy I don’t have that duty anymore.”
John thought hard about her words…and the letter. “I know you didn’t read it, how…” his voice trailed off.
“I know you well enough to have a pretty good idea what’s written in that letter, John,” she replied quietly. “I put two and two together, and thought maybe you’d want to tell him in person, given the chance.”
Gratitude warmed his features as he just stared at her. Slowly, a smile spread across his face. “Thank you, Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth smiled warmly back. “You’re welcome.” She arched and eyebrow. “We’d better get back before you get busted down to Major for missing your own party.”
John chuckled as she turned back towards the door. “I’ll be right there.” he watched as Elizabeth entered the Mess. He stood for another moment in the deserted hallway. John gazed at the letter, the memories of the day he wrote it coming back to him. His eyes slid shut as his grip tightened on the envelope. The words contained within it had been his reconciliation…his apology…his way of setting things straight before going into a situation where he believed he was going to die. John swallowed hard. He’d accepted his fate that day…accepted that death was coming to him, and he’d probably not get away from it. But now, standing here in the SGC…back on Earth, John felt gratefulness surge through him. He was alive. He was a Lieutenant Colonel. He was going back to Atlantis. But more than anything else, he was grateful his father never had to read that letter.
John once again looked at the envelope. Smiling, the new Lieutenant Colonel tucked it securely inside his dress jacket, before returning to the Mess.
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Author’s Notes:
I really wanted to see his promotion for real! *pout*
Story: Resolution
Word Count: ~3700
Genre: Gen/Missing Scene
Characters: John Sheppard, OC, Elizabeth Weir, Jack O’Neill, others
Warnings: None
Summary:Missing scene from between SiegeIII and Intruder. Follow up story to The Letter, but it is a standalone story. John is promoted to Lt. Colonel...and takes care of some long overdue, unfinished business. Written in December of 2005.
Resolution ~
An entry for the Promotion Celebration Contest
Part 2 of The Letter Trilogy
********************************************************************************************
NOTE: This story is a stand alone, but does refer to the events of my previous story “The Letter.” You may want to read it first.
********************************************************************************************
John tugged absently on the collar of his dress uniform as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Clean and pressed perfectly, not one wrinkle showed on the blue jacket or crisp shirt underneath it. One corner of John’s mouth turned up in amusement as he thought about his past year in Atlantis. He chuckled. He couldn’t remember the last time his clothes were this orderly…or clean for that matter. He tugged again at the restrictive collar. Damn, he hated these dress uniforms. He always felt like he was being strangled. John’s eyes settled on the gold leaves on his collar…his Major leaves.
“You keep pulling stunts like that, you’ll never make it past Captain!”
“It was the right thing to do, Dad!”
“Damn it, John! Why can’t you just follow orders?”
“Major?”
John turned and smiled at Sergeant Harriman. “Yes, Sergeant?”
“They’re ready for you, sir,” Walter responded.
John nodded and paused, staring at the short Sergeant for a moment, as Walter continued to stand in his doorway. “Uhh…Thanks. That’ll be all, Sergeant,” John added.
“Yes, sir,” Harriman nodded before walking away.
John turned back and looked at himself one last time in the mirror, his eyes once more drawn to his Major leaves. “Never make it past Captain,” he whispered, before a wistful smile crossed his face. He’d wanted to see his dad, but ever since they’d stepped through the Stargate back to the SGC, he hadn’t had one minute to call his own. Briefings, one interview after another, choosing replacement personnel…and fighting to stay assigned to Atlantis, had taken all his time. John’s gaze narrowed slightly.
Fighting to stay assigned to Atlantis…
That confused him more than anything. It seemed General Landry had been bound and determined to reassign him and John had tiptoed the line of protocol with the General more than once, as he fought for a place on Atlantis. John shook his head, his confusion deepening. Only the day before, he’d been served with his promotion and the General’s attitude had changed. It was subtle, and Landry still didn’t seem thrilled about letting John return to the Ancient city, but he no longer addressed the issue. Something had changed, something…big had happened, but no matter how much John pushed with Landry, or Caldwell, or even Elizabeth, he was still in the dark.
“Ready to go back to Earth, Major?”
John smiled at Elizabeth. “Only for a visit…”
From the moment he’d stepped through the Stargate, John had made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t leave Earth without seeing his dad. For better or worse, he was going to do it. The events of the past few weeks had changed him. Never again would he face his own death with the regret that he hadn’t told his father everything he wanted…needed to say.
He sighed and grabbed his hat, tucking it neatly under his arm. First thing was first though. Turning briskly, John exited his quarters and walked down the long hallway to the Gate Room. At the doorway, he stopped as two guards snapped to attention, saluting him. John took a deep breath, oddly amused at the butterflies in his stomach. Acknowledging the guards, he walked past them and stopped, standing at near attention in the doorway as the Attention to Orders was called. His eyes drifted around, scanning the crowd. There were a lot of unfamiliar faces, which surprised him, but John found comfort from those he recognized. He made brief eye contact with Elizabeth, who, in spite of her serious expression, flashed him a quick, small smile in reassurance. Next to her were McKay and Beckett. John drew strength from the presence of his friends from Atlantis. A pang of guilt shot through him as he unavoidably noticed a missing face. John sighed.
Ford.
Deep inside him, John wanted to return to Atlantis for a lot of reasons, not the least of which he couldn’t imagine serving anywhere else, but undeniably, John had to go back, if only to find Ford and bring him home. He should be here. John shook off the thought, and pushed away the guilt he felt, forcing himself to focus on the ceremony.
“Major John Sheppard.”
John’s attention focused on General Landry, who stood at the top of the ramp, right in front of the Gate. Smartly, John crossed the Gate Room, turned and walked up the long ramp towards the General.
Flanking Landry, Colonel Caldwell stared at John. The Colonel’s expression was carefully neutral, and John resisted the urge to quirk an eyebrow at it. John had seen enough of those practiced expressions to know exactly what the Colonel was thinking. He wasn’t convinced John’s promotion or return to Atlantis was the right thing. Of that, John was sure. He suppressed a shrug. It wasn’t the first time he’d faced that attitude in his career.
On Landry’s other side, to John’s surprise, General Jack O’Neill took no pains to hide his pleasure. Not smiling openly, the General’s face still held hints of amusement, crossed with elements of smugness. John barely kept himself from shaking his head at the General’s expression. O’Neill seemed pleased with himself more than anything else, and looked like he wanted to burst out with three verses of the ‘I told you so!’ chorus.
John refocused his attention on Landry, if only to keep from smiling at O’Neill. He stopped in front of the General and saluted, before standing at attention.
Landry stared evenly back for a moment, before looking away to read the Promotion Warrant.
John listened patiently, as Landry read the warrant. He fought his body’s inclination to blush, as the words “meritorious conduct” and “above and beyond the call of duty” echoed around him. Those words were for a hero, and John never saw himself as one. He only did what he thought was right…what had to be done, to save and defend the people he was sworn to protect…the people he cared about. Once again, his thoughts drifted to Ford. Cynicism took over for a moment, as he reflected on the young Lieutenant. Above and beyond? Tell that to Ford… Internally, John shrugged off the guilt and focused again on Landry, as the General reached up and replaced his gold Major leaves, with silver Lieutenant Colonel ones. Stepping back, Landry snapped John a salute, which he returned.
John turned and saluted General O’Neill, who winked back at him as he saluted in return. John saluted Colonel Caldwell next. Caldwell returned the salute and stared hard at him, before John looked away.
The ceremony over, John allowed himself to relax. Landry and Caldwell walked down the ramp, but O’Neill stopped next to John.
“General,” John nodded in recognition as he turned to face O’Neill.
O’Neill smiled. “Colonel.” Jack looked back at the Gate for a moment, before returning his gaze to John. “Still think you shouldn’t have gone?”
Now it was John’s turn to look at the Gate. He smiled and quirked a sarcastic eyebrow at O’Neill. “You should’ve asked me that question a week ago. You probably wouldn’t have liked my answer, sir.”
Jack grinned. “Ah yes. Death…bodily harm…peril. The stuff good Stargate adventures are made of. You’d be bored without it, Sheppard.”
John chuckled. “Yes, sir, I suppose I would.”
Jack’s smile faded, but warmth and approval still lingered in his expression. “Congratulations, Colonel.”
John nodded back. “Thank you, sir.”
Jack walked down the ramp, leaving John standing alone. He stared at the inactive gate, his thoughts drifting a galaxy away, back to Atlantis…and Ford. Symbolic of the never-ending quest for knowledge, and for the acknowledgment of the courage to step into the unknown, the Gate held John’s attention. Somewhere out there, his Lieutenant wandered, and John vowed that he’d find Ford someday.
“Irresistible, isn’t it?”
Pulled from his thoughts, John turned and smiled at Weir, McKay and Beckett who walked up the ramp towards him. His attention fixed on Elizabeth, who smiled warmly at him.
“Congratulations, Colonel.”
Her sentiment was echoed by McKay and Beckett.
John smiled. “Thanks. Feels kind of weird.”
“Yes, well, I was rather fond of calling you “Major” myself,” Rodney quipped.
John cocked an eyebrow at McKay. “I was rather used to being a Major. I, uh…was one for a long time.”
“Well you deserve it, John,” Elizabeth responded.
“Aye,” Beckett agreed.
Rodney sighed and looked around. “I can’t believe I come all the way back from Pegasus, and Colonel Carter can’t even take the time to be here…” he turned, walking down the ramp as Carson shook his head and followed.
“It’s not like she plans her life around you, Rodney,” Carson answered.
“Yes, well, her loss,” McKay quipped before the two disappeared into the crowd.
John chuckled and looked back to Weir. “This Colonel Carter must be something to get McKay like that.” He quirked an eyebrow, “I think I need to meet her sometime.”
“Hmm…” Elizabeth nodded, “I think you’d like her, John. Now that we have access to and from Atlantis, maybe she’ll make it there.”
John’s attention returned to the gate and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Elizabeth staring at it too. John sighed. “I’m just glad to be going back. For a while there, I was wondering…” his voice trailed off as he pointedly looked at her.
Sensing his gaze, Elizabeth looked at him. “What?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking that?” John quickly replied. “When we first got back here, they didn’t seem too thrilled with the idea of sending me back to Atlantis. Then all the sudden the brass does a one eighty, promotes me, and gives me command over Atlantis’ military contingent.” He knowingly arched both brows at Elizabeth. “I’ve been in the military and around brass long enough to know none of them change their minds that fast.” John’s gaze narrowed. “What happened?”
Elizabeth’s face was neutral as she stared back. “You don’t think your actions merited any of this?”
John slowly shook his head. “Not entirely. It was more than that…” confident in his assumption, he leaned towards her slightly, “and you know it.”
Elizabeth smiled slightly and nodded once. “I should’ve known none of this would get past you, John.” Her gaze sobered. “They didn’t want to send you back. Despite everything you did to save Atlantis more than once, they were worried about you…and the chain of command.”
John inhaled deeply and looked away. “I figured as much.” He looked down as Elizabeth’s hand briefly settled on his forearm.
“John, I never once considered not having you back on Atlantis. But even though I had a frank conversation with the President, and everyone, including General Landry, recognized your amazing achievements in protecting Atlantis and its personnel, it still wasn’t enough.”
He was unable to tear his eyes from hers, as Elizabeth’s grip on his arm tightened.
“Never doubt that you earned this, John. You deserve it.”
He smiled and nodded. “So what was it? If not you, then who did have the final say?”
Elizabeth grinned. “General O’Neill.”
John’s jaw dropped in amazement for a moment, before he started chuckling. “You’re kidding.”
Elizabeth’s light laughter joined his. “No. I was there. I believe his exact words were ‘For crying out loud, just promote him already!’”
John looked across the Gate Room as personnel continued filing out the doors. He caught glance of General O’Neill, who smiled back at him. His laughter fading, John’s gaze narrowed as he nodded slowly at the General.
O’Neill just smiled back for a moment, before exiting the Gate Room.
John started to look back to Elizabeth, but his gaze never reached her. Unconsciously, his eyes caught on a tall, fit man of advancing years, who stared silently at him. Rocked, John’s jaw dropped as he literally felt the color drained from his face.
“John?”
Elizabeth’s concerned words broke through his shock. Without tearing his eyes from the man John just whispered. “Dad.”
Had he looked, John would’ve seen Elizabeth nod and smile knowingly. As it is, he only heard her voice.
“Given your father’s high level, military background, it wasn’t hard to get him security clearance to be here.”
Once again, John felt Elizabeth squeeze his arm.
“Talk to him, John. I think you both need it.” Elizabeth slowly walked down the ramp and exited the room with the last of the personnel.
Rooted in place, John could only stare at Marcus Sheppard, who just looked evenly back at him. John didn’t know where to begin…how to tell his dad what he needed to…or even what to say. John just stared as a tidal wave of conflicting emotions raced through him. Love, anger, guilt, remorse, they all made their presence known and left him strangely silent in their wake.
Marcus Sheppard finally quirked an eyebrow, in a fashion strangely familiar to John and slowly walked up the ramp to stand in front of the Gate. Never looking at his son, the senior Sheppard’s eyes slowly traveled around the gate, from one end to the other. “So, this is what you’ve been doing for the last year.”
John swallowed hard and licked his lips nervously. “Yeah. It’s a Stargate.”
His expression stern, Marcus looked at John. “I know. General Hammond briefed me once the President gave his okay to my clearance.”
Feeling chastised, John sighed and looked away, berating himself for thinking anything would be different between him and his dad. Uncomfortable with the long silence, John looked at his father, who was staring intently back at him.
Marcus pulled in a deep breath and again looked at the gate. “Extraordinary. Almost makes me wish I was still in the service.”
“Yeah, it is,” John followed his father’s gaze to the gate. “It’s made my life interesting.” Feeling his father’s stare, John looked at his dad, his eyes narrowing. The retired Colonel had a peculiar look on his face. “Dad? Everything okay?”
Marcus Sheppard pursed his lips. “The President…he was generous enough to allow me to read the mission reports.” His expression hardened slightly. “You made some mistakes, son.”
John’s gut clenched painfully. He hadn’t known what his father was going to say, but at the same time, John criticized himself for not expecting this. Compounded with the lingering guilt he carried because of those mistakes, John felt like someone had kicked him in the gut. He bowed his head. “Yeah, I did.”
“No argument this time?”
Anger sparked in John, but he pursed his lips and stayed silent. There was nothing left to be said. His father and him had gone down this path too many times before, and John felt no desire to do it again. They’d never see eye to eye, and that was something he figured he’d have to live with. “No.”
John slowly looked up as he felt a strong hand settle on his shoulder. John’s eyes widened slightly at the pride he saw in his father’s gaze.
“You also did some incredible things, John. I…” He shook his head in amazement. “Your bravery, courage…valor…” Struggling to find the right words, Marcus just sighed. “I couldn’t be more proud of you than I am right now.” He glanced down at the silver oak leaves on John’s collar before once more looking his son in the eyes. “You deserve this.”
A painful lump constricted John’s throat as he just stared back at his father. He felt his brows twitch, his lips move, but his mind was blank…all thought smothered by emotion. He was at a loss for words. Fighting back his emotions, John stepped forward and pulled his father into a strong embrace. After a moment, he felt his dad’s stiffness melt away as he returned John’s hug. John closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. For years, he’d wanted…needed his father’s approval, and every time it was denied to him, bitterness grew within him. Now, finally, he had the approval he’d wanted for so long, but it didn’t matter to him. All that mattered to John at this moment was that his father knew how he felt. John opened his eyes. “I’m sorry, Dad…” he whispered, “for everything.” Once again, his eyes slid shut as Marcus’ grip tightened.
“So am I.”
They held the embrace a moment longer, before both men stepped back from one another. Part of John was still surprised to see the level of emotion in his father’s eyes that John knew was in his. A small smile popped to John’s face in response to the one his dad suddenly wore.
“Congratulations, Colonel,” Marcus winked.
John grinned. “Thank you, Colonel.” He pulled in a deep breath. “I think there’s a small party in the Mess that I don’t think I can get out of.”
Marcus Sheppard returned the expression. “We’d best get over there then.” Turning he walked down the ramp towards the right side door.
John paused and glanced at the Gate. A small smile popped to his face. With all the mysteries and amazing things he’d seen and learned since stepping through it, the last thing John ever thought the Stargate would give him was reconciliation with his father. He shook his head slightly.
“John?”
His dad’s voice grabbed John’s attention. “Coming.” John quickly walked down the ramp and joined his father as they left the Gate Room.
Entering the Mess, John’s face flushed in embarrassment as a round of applause greeted him. He waved, a sheepish grin covering his face as he scanned the crowd for a certain face. John’s search was interrupted by his father’s voice.
“I’ll be back, John. I’d like to speak with General O’Neill.”
John nodded and smiled at his father before once again scanning the room. His gaze stopped as it settled on the face of Elizabeth Weir. Purposefully, John crossed the room, weaving in and out of people, quickly and politely acknowledging them as he made his way towards Weir. Finally, he found himself standing before her. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Elizabeth’s gaze narrowed, but she nodded and followed him towards the Mess door.
“Colonel?”
John paused and nodded at General Landry. “I’ll be right back, sir.” Nodding as the General gave his leave, John walked out the Mess door and stopped in the deserted hallway. He turned and faced Elizabeth, as the door closed behind her.
“What is it, John?” she asked. Her face was dominated by a ready smile, but her dark eyes narrowed in curiosity.
John knew the look well. It was her ‘is something wrong?’ look. He smiled. “Everything’s fine. I just wanted…” John pursed his lips and fidgeted slightly. He squinted slightly at her. “Was it your idea for my father to be given clearance to come here?”
A knowing look crossed Weir’s face as her smile turned to one of warm sincerity. “I thought it would be good for the two of you to talk. When I explained your father’s past military career to the President…well, it didn’t take too much convincing.” She arched an eyebrow. “Your father is very well known, John.”
John rolled his eyes in amusement. Part of him was pleasantly surprised that he was more amused than irritated. Usually, at the mention of the illustrious career of Colonel Marcus Sheppard, John would find himself on the defensive, but this new found reconciliation had done more than clear his conscious, it has cleansed his soul. He grinned. “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.”
Weir nodded her expression sobering. “You never spoke much about it, but I suspected things weren’t right between you and your father.” She reached inside her dress coat and pulled out a sealed, white envelope. “When you gave me this, I knew if we ever got back to Earth, I owed it to you to make sure you and your father spoke again.”
Stunned, John stared down at the envelope in Elizabeth’s hand. Instantly a connection was made in his head as he reached out and slowly took it from her. “Is this…”
“Yes,” Elizabeth interrupted. “It’s the letter to your father you gave me before the Wraith arrived in Atlantis.” She smiled. “I promised to give it to your father if you never made it back. I’m happy I don’t have that duty anymore.”
John thought hard about her words…and the letter. “I know you didn’t read it, how…” his voice trailed off.
“I know you well enough to have a pretty good idea what’s written in that letter, John,” she replied quietly. “I put two and two together, and thought maybe you’d want to tell him in person, given the chance.”
Gratitude warmed his features as he just stared at her. Slowly, a smile spread across his face. “Thank you, Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth smiled warmly back. “You’re welcome.” She arched and eyebrow. “We’d better get back before you get busted down to Major for missing your own party.”
John chuckled as she turned back towards the door. “I’ll be right there.” he watched as Elizabeth entered the Mess. He stood for another moment in the deserted hallway. John gazed at the letter, the memories of the day he wrote it coming back to him. His eyes slid shut as his grip tightened on the envelope. The words contained within it had been his reconciliation…his apology…his way of setting things straight before going into a situation where he believed he was going to die. John swallowed hard. He’d accepted his fate that day…accepted that death was coming to him, and he’d probably not get away from it. But now, standing here in the SGC…back on Earth, John felt gratefulness surge through him. He was alive. He was a Lieutenant Colonel. He was going back to Atlantis. But more than anything else, he was grateful his father never had to read that letter.
John once again looked at the envelope. Smiling, the new Lieutenant Colonel tucked it securely inside his dress jacket, before returning to the Mess.
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Author’s Notes:
I really wanted to see his promotion for real! *pout*