Fic: A Modern Air Force Colonel by Missa (Mission Report Challenge)
Title: A Modern Air Force Colonel
Author: Missa
Genre: humor
Spoilers: none
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be
Words: 488
Summary: "At the next staff meeting, I'm imposing a city wide ban of Gilbert and Sullivan"
A/N: This came to me on the treadmill. I think it just proves that I'm insane. Especially given that this is my first contribution to this particular fandom.
Elizabeth laughed to herself as she read John's latest mission report. Apparently someone in Medical had gotten a hold of the recently imported library of Gilbert and Sullivan. Either John was out for revenge, or he couldn't purge the song from his head.
**
To: Elizabeth
From: Sheppard
Re: Mission Report: MX9-304
I try to be the model of a modern Air Force Colonel,
I’ve traded all things vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I met the priests of Pego, and we walked the ruins historical
From the Stargate to the village, in the order most strategical;
I’m very well acquainted, too, with McKay's being hysterical
I understand fear-panic, both the simple and the mythical,
As we ran away from there I listened to scared Rodney bitch -
Even I don't expect the natives to be using flaming spears of pitch
We're very good at shooting back while running for our lives you see;
I know we are to trade for goods to feed our home upon the sea:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I try to be the model of a modern Air Force Colonel.
We ended up in a dry cell, much better than some recent spots;
McKay found some power readings, thus giving us a paradox,
The people were to simple to possess an Ancient power source,
They missed some of our weapons and so Ronon led the 'break of course;
With knives and staves we fought our way clear of the guards that blocked our path,
Rodney tried to track the source using some archaic math
We found the source some ways a way hidden in some shubbery,
We stepped back a pace when it appeared to be Wraith-ish gunnery.
The natives caught back up with us and this time Rodney shut his mouth,
Which prevented the simple trip from a-going totally south:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I try to be the model of a modern Air Force Colonel
We gathered all the natives and began the trek to lead us home,
Sometimes I miss the simplicity of a basic telephone,
We led the natives to the 'Gate and quickly dialed the alpha site,
The Pego could pick a new home and be there within a fortnight
With luck the Wraith will not return - the Pego can go home again,
Though Teyla says her people would welcome a-many new strong men,
In short, the mission did go well, despite the lack of ZPM,
We saved the day and found some grain and even made some brand new friends.
Ronon's fine and Teyla's okay and even Rodney can't complain
The only injury was mine, and that was just a minor sprain
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I try to be the model of a modern Air Force Colonel
At the next staff meeting, I'm imposing a city wide ban on Gilbert and Sullivan.
-J. Sheppard
Author: Missa
Genre: humor
Spoilers: none
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be
Words: 488
Summary: "At the next staff meeting, I'm imposing a city wide ban of Gilbert and Sullivan"
A/N: This came to me on the treadmill. I think it just proves that I'm insane. Especially given that this is my first contribution to this particular fandom.
Elizabeth laughed to herself as she read John's latest mission report. Apparently someone in Medical had gotten a hold of the recently imported library of Gilbert and Sullivan. Either John was out for revenge, or he couldn't purge the song from his head.
**
To: Elizabeth
From: Sheppard
Re: Mission Report: MX9-304
I try to be the model of a modern Air Force Colonel,
I’ve traded all things vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I met the priests of Pego, and we walked the ruins historical
From the Stargate to the village, in the order most strategical;
I’m very well acquainted, too, with McKay's being hysterical
I understand fear-panic, both the simple and the mythical,
As we ran away from there I listened to scared Rodney bitch -
Even I don't expect the natives to be using flaming spears of pitch
We're very good at shooting back while running for our lives you see;
I know we are to trade for goods to feed our home upon the sea:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I try to be the model of a modern Air Force Colonel.
We ended up in a dry cell, much better than some recent spots;
McKay found some power readings, thus giving us a paradox,
The people were to simple to possess an Ancient power source,
They missed some of our weapons and so Ronon led the 'break of course;
With knives and staves we fought our way clear of the guards that blocked our path,
Rodney tried to track the source using some archaic math
We found the source some ways a way hidden in some shubbery,
We stepped back a pace when it appeared to be Wraith-ish gunnery.
The natives caught back up with us and this time Rodney shut his mouth,
Which prevented the simple trip from a-going totally south:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I try to be the model of a modern Air Force Colonel
We gathered all the natives and began the trek to lead us home,
Sometimes I miss the simplicity of a basic telephone,
We led the natives to the 'Gate and quickly dialed the alpha site,
The Pego could pick a new home and be there within a fortnight
With luck the Wraith will not return - the Pego can go home again,
Though Teyla says her people would welcome a-many new strong men,
In short, the mission did go well, despite the lack of ZPM,
We saved the day and found some grain and even made some brand new friends.
Ronon's fine and Teyla's okay and even Rodney can't complain
The only injury was mine, and that was just a minor sprain
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I try to be the model of a modern Air Force Colonel
At the next staff meeting, I'm imposing a city wide ban on Gilbert and Sullivan.
-J. Sheppard