Civil Twilight, by shrift (virgin challenge)
Title: Civil Twilight
Author: shrift
Rating: PG
Pairing: John/Rodney
Challenge: Virgin challenge
Summary: John's hand strayed to the trigger of his P90. "There aren't any, you know, rituals involved in this 'virgin moon' thing, right?"
Beta thanks to nestra.
Civil Twilight
by shrift
"It is a virgin moon tonight," Teyla said when she rejoined their group at the edge of the forest. "The village elders believe this to be auspicious."
"Auspicious. How lovely," Rodney said, the stylus in his hand pausing briefly in its spastic little dance above his PDA screen. "Like I care. Will there be food?"
Ronon didn't say anything, didn't even move from his perch on a fallen log, but John knew he was just as interested in Teyla's answer as Rodney.
Teyla smiled. "There will be a feast."
John's hand strayed to the trigger of his P90. "There aren't any, you know, rituals involved in this 'virgin moon' thing, right?"
"Oh, please. You don't even know what a virgin moon is," Rodney said, not looking up from his PDA.
"Like you do?" John demanded.
"Well, if they offer you any virgins, you can just politely decline," Rodney said, waving his hand and nearly hitting Ronon on the shoulder.
"How do you politely decline virgins?" John asked. "And don't think I didn't notice you avoiding the question."
Rodney frowned. "Do whatever it is you normally do. And I'm not avoiding anything, Colonel."
John stared. There were times when Rodney had a very warped impression of what went on in his daily life. "What I normally do?"
Rodney bristled. "Don't try to tell me that it hasn't come up before, because hello, I was there."
"It was only the once!" he protested. John looked up and realized Ronon and Teyla were staring at them with poorly disguised interest. "For the record, I said no thanks."
"Actually what you said was that we were full up on virgins, which is patently absurd unless you listen to certain gossip, and I do not, because I have far more important things to do with my time," Rodney said, settling back down on the log and crossing his arms. "And it was three times, not once."
"I do not recall this," Teyla said, tilting her head.
John shrugged. "You were negotiating. And Rodney," John said, glaring at the man in question, "is exaggerating."
"I am not. And I'll have you know that my team of scientists gets plenty of sex!" Rodney said, chin high with righteous indignation.
"Sure," John said.
"See, if you hadn't sounded so condescending just then, I might have let it go, but -- ow," Rodney said when Ronon nudged his arm. "What?"
"What about the two other times?" Ronon asked.
John clenched his jaw, and then said, "Why don't we forget about that, shall we?"
Ronon glanced up at the darkening sky. "Don't have anything else to do."
"I could give you something to do," John said. "You could head back to the jumper and check in with Atlantis. If you hurry, you might not miss the feast. I mean, if you're not busy."
Ronon stood up lazily. John got the impression Ronon was trying not to laugh at him. "Guess I'll check the perimeter."
"Are you certain there aren't any virgins?" Rodney asked Teyla anxiously.
"I shall return to the village," Teyla said, still smiling. "To inquire about any rituals."
When they were both out of earshot -- well, probably out of earshot, because John never knew with Ronon -- he sat down next to Rodney and said, "Would you stop mentioning the virgins?"
"I will when the natives stop offering them to you on a rustic, wood bark platter," Rodney said with a long-suffering look.
"Are you jealous?" John asked, weirdly delighted by the thought.
"Oh, please. People have been offering me all manner of perquisites since before I was legally old enough to enjoy them."
And given that he'd seen what Rodney could do, John believed him. It made him wonder what they offered a guy who could destroy a galaxy as opposed to a star quarterback at a Big Ten college. Probably not the fast cars and pretty girls. Okay, maybe the girls.
John poked him with his elbow. "Not what I was asking."
"Right," Rodney said, staring intently at his tiny PDA screen.
It was cool and clear, the sun slipping below the horizon and a few bright stars appearing in the sky. A light wind rustled the leaves. Tree frogs chirped an octave higher than they did on Earth. It was a nice evening, and John could be patient; he didn't really go for big parties with funky native rituals, anyway.
"Fine. Fine!" Rodney said suddenly. "I'm jealous. Are you happy now?"
"Ecstatic," John said.
Rodney looked as if he was thinking about shoving John off the fallen log. "Could you be less laconic?"
"Technically, yes." John smiled.
"From laconic to smug in six seconds," Rodney snapped. "Have I mentioned lately how much I dislike you?"
John sat sideways on the log and slouched, his knee bumping against Rodney's thigh. "You love me."
There was a moment of dead silence while Rodney stared at him, eyes blinking and his mouth open and working like a fish breathing under water. John sat up so fast he wrenched something in his back. "You love me."
"I do not!" Rodney denied vehemently, finally snapping out of his weird little fit.
"Wow," John said wonderingly after a moment of complete and utter terror that was almost as intense as the first time he'd nearly crashed an obscenely expensive airplane. "That's really cool."
Usually it wasn't cool, because usually it meant something awkward and surprising and unpleasant, a burden, like getting hit on by his best friend's fiancée two weeks before the wedding.
This... wasn't that.
"Are you insane?" Rodney asked desperately. His hands moved like angry bees. "More so than usual? Have you been eating any strange fruit?"
John eased back into a slouch. "Other than you?"
Rodney blushed, his skin splotchy like a ripening McIntosh. "I can't believe we're having this conversation."
The sun was more than halfway gone, and someone was bound to interrupt them soon. John reached out and pulled Rodney closer by his tac vest, their bulky gear pressing together. "Really, really cool," he said, and kissed Rodney. Rodney opened his mouth, his grumpy expression easing as John cupped his face. He always reacted to a kiss as if John was coffee or one of those tiny submarine sandwiches from an airline meal tray.
It wasn't ambiguous. John liked that. A lot.
"Well," Rodney said when John was done. His eyes were bright. "Yes. What?"
"You really have no idea what a virgin moon is, do you?" John asked. He licked his lips. Felt good. Warm.
"Specific to this planet and their native beliefs? No," Rodney said. "But I could extrapolate based upon --"
John clapped his hand over Rodney's mouth. "I say no to the virgins, you say no to the extrapolating, and tonight we all go to bed happy. Deal?" Rodney made a muffled noise underneath John's hand. "They're not going to offer you the virgins this time, McKay. Trust me."
"They might," Ronon said, emerging from the shadows without so much as stepping on a dry twig.
Rodney pointed at Ronon and dragged John's hand down to say, "Thank you. See? Someone believes in me."
"Oh, I believe in you," John said, pleased to note that Rodney took it as a compliment right up until he decided it wasn't one.
"Teyla says it's time," Ronon said before Rodney could work himself up into something towering and rage-like.
"You heard the man," John said.
Rodney's jaw jutted as he pushed his PDA into a pocket on his tac vest and stood up. "Remember, Colonel. Just say no."
John rose from the fallen log and slung his arm around Rodney's shoulders. "What, and disappoint all those virgins?"
the end.
Author: shrift
Rating: PG
Pairing: John/Rodney
Challenge: Virgin challenge
Summary: John's hand strayed to the trigger of his P90. "There aren't any, you know, rituals involved in this 'virgin moon' thing, right?"
Beta thanks to nestra.
Civil Twilight
by shrift
"It is a virgin moon tonight," Teyla said when she rejoined their group at the edge of the forest. "The village elders believe this to be auspicious."
"Auspicious. How lovely," Rodney said, the stylus in his hand pausing briefly in its spastic little dance above his PDA screen. "Like I care. Will there be food?"
Ronon didn't say anything, didn't even move from his perch on a fallen log, but John knew he was just as interested in Teyla's answer as Rodney.
Teyla smiled. "There will be a feast."
John's hand strayed to the trigger of his P90. "There aren't any, you know, rituals involved in this 'virgin moon' thing, right?"
"Oh, please. You don't even know what a virgin moon is," Rodney said, not looking up from his PDA.
"Like you do?" John demanded.
"Well, if they offer you any virgins, you can just politely decline," Rodney said, waving his hand and nearly hitting Ronon on the shoulder.
"How do you politely decline virgins?" John asked. "And don't think I didn't notice you avoiding the question."
Rodney frowned. "Do whatever it is you normally do. And I'm not avoiding anything, Colonel."
John stared. There were times when Rodney had a very warped impression of what went on in his daily life. "What I normally do?"
Rodney bristled. "Don't try to tell me that it hasn't come up before, because hello, I was there."
"It was only the once!" he protested. John looked up and realized Ronon and Teyla were staring at them with poorly disguised interest. "For the record, I said no thanks."
"Actually what you said was that we were full up on virgins, which is patently absurd unless you listen to certain gossip, and I do not, because I have far more important things to do with my time," Rodney said, settling back down on the log and crossing his arms. "And it was three times, not once."
"I do not recall this," Teyla said, tilting her head.
John shrugged. "You were negotiating. And Rodney," John said, glaring at the man in question, "is exaggerating."
"I am not. And I'll have you know that my team of scientists gets plenty of sex!" Rodney said, chin high with righteous indignation.
"Sure," John said.
"See, if you hadn't sounded so condescending just then, I might have let it go, but -- ow," Rodney said when Ronon nudged his arm. "What?"
"What about the two other times?" Ronon asked.
John clenched his jaw, and then said, "Why don't we forget about that, shall we?"
Ronon glanced up at the darkening sky. "Don't have anything else to do."
"I could give you something to do," John said. "You could head back to the jumper and check in with Atlantis. If you hurry, you might not miss the feast. I mean, if you're not busy."
Ronon stood up lazily. John got the impression Ronon was trying not to laugh at him. "Guess I'll check the perimeter."
"Are you certain there aren't any virgins?" Rodney asked Teyla anxiously.
"I shall return to the village," Teyla said, still smiling. "To inquire about any rituals."
When they were both out of earshot -- well, probably out of earshot, because John never knew with Ronon -- he sat down next to Rodney and said, "Would you stop mentioning the virgins?"
"I will when the natives stop offering them to you on a rustic, wood bark platter," Rodney said with a long-suffering look.
"Are you jealous?" John asked, weirdly delighted by the thought.
"Oh, please. People have been offering me all manner of perquisites since before I was legally old enough to enjoy them."
And given that he'd seen what Rodney could do, John believed him. It made him wonder what they offered a guy who could destroy a galaxy as opposed to a star quarterback at a Big Ten college. Probably not the fast cars and pretty girls. Okay, maybe the girls.
John poked him with his elbow. "Not what I was asking."
"Right," Rodney said, staring intently at his tiny PDA screen.
It was cool and clear, the sun slipping below the horizon and a few bright stars appearing in the sky. A light wind rustled the leaves. Tree frogs chirped an octave higher than they did on Earth. It was a nice evening, and John could be patient; he didn't really go for big parties with funky native rituals, anyway.
"Fine. Fine!" Rodney said suddenly. "I'm jealous. Are you happy now?"
"Ecstatic," John said.
Rodney looked as if he was thinking about shoving John off the fallen log. "Could you be less laconic?"
"Technically, yes." John smiled.
"From laconic to smug in six seconds," Rodney snapped. "Have I mentioned lately how much I dislike you?"
John sat sideways on the log and slouched, his knee bumping against Rodney's thigh. "You love me."
There was a moment of dead silence while Rodney stared at him, eyes blinking and his mouth open and working like a fish breathing under water. John sat up so fast he wrenched something in his back. "You love me."
"I do not!" Rodney denied vehemently, finally snapping out of his weird little fit.
"Wow," John said wonderingly after a moment of complete and utter terror that was almost as intense as the first time he'd nearly crashed an obscenely expensive airplane. "That's really cool."
Usually it wasn't cool, because usually it meant something awkward and surprising and unpleasant, a burden, like getting hit on by his best friend's fiancée two weeks before the wedding.
This... wasn't that.
"Are you insane?" Rodney asked desperately. His hands moved like angry bees. "More so than usual? Have you been eating any strange fruit?"
John eased back into a slouch. "Other than you?"
Rodney blushed, his skin splotchy like a ripening McIntosh. "I can't believe we're having this conversation."
The sun was more than halfway gone, and someone was bound to interrupt them soon. John reached out and pulled Rodney closer by his tac vest, their bulky gear pressing together. "Really, really cool," he said, and kissed Rodney. Rodney opened his mouth, his grumpy expression easing as John cupped his face. He always reacted to a kiss as if John was coffee or one of those tiny submarine sandwiches from an airline meal tray.
It wasn't ambiguous. John liked that. A lot.
"Well," Rodney said when John was done. His eyes were bright. "Yes. What?"
"You really have no idea what a virgin moon is, do you?" John asked. He licked his lips. Felt good. Warm.
"Specific to this planet and their native beliefs? No," Rodney said. "But I could extrapolate based upon --"
John clapped his hand over Rodney's mouth. "I say no to the virgins, you say no to the extrapolating, and tonight we all go to bed happy. Deal?" Rodney made a muffled noise underneath John's hand. "They're not going to offer you the virgins this time, McKay. Trust me."
"They might," Ronon said, emerging from the shadows without so much as stepping on a dry twig.
Rodney pointed at Ronon and dragged John's hand down to say, "Thank you. See? Someone believes in me."
"Oh, I believe in you," John said, pleased to note that Rodney took it as a compliment right up until he decided it wasn't one.
"Teyla says it's time," Ronon said before Rodney could work himself up into something towering and rage-like.
"You heard the man," John said.
Rodney's jaw jutted as he pushed his PDA into a pocket on his tac vest and stood up. "Remember, Colonel. Just say no."
John rose from the fallen log and slung his arm around Rodney's shoulders. "What, and disappoint all those virgins?"
the end.