Not so lyrical, but nonetheless needed.
I suppose you could say I've been feeling depressed lately. Nobody besides my mom knows how sad and damaged I am on account that I tend to put on a pretty good act for those around me. It's not that I'm trying to ignore my sadness, rather, I've been forcing myself to go out with people and be social as a means to prevent an inward retreat of self.
Part of the sadness comes from the feeling of me being inadequate, and not enough of anything for someone whom I love (or used to at least). I realize how horrible this is and that I should never have to feel this way around someone who I would consider my friend. It's just that no matter what I do I don't feel appreciated. Who knows what he hell he looks for in someone? Ugh! I'm so weary and tired of wanting to be loved by him. I don't think that will ever happen, and even if it did he would be too much of a coward to actually tell me his feelings.
I also find myself missing some of my friends that I wish I could see more often. Even though I'm staying busy hanging out with my friends that are in Rochester and making new ones, I'm still feeling lonely. Whenever I hang out with my friends I always have such a great time and am thankful for those relationships...I suppose I'm just adjusting to the changes of how different this summer is to last's. I'm not a sad person. I love life, I just don't like heartbreak and it feels like it's breaking again/more.
I'm ready and needing to let go, move on and finish healing.
Part of the sadness comes from the feeling of me being inadequate, and not enough of anything for someone whom I love (or used to at least). I realize how horrible this is and that I should never have to feel this way around someone who I would consider my friend. It's just that no matter what I do I don't feel appreciated. Who knows what he hell he looks for in someone? Ugh! I'm so weary and tired of wanting to be loved by him. I don't think that will ever happen, and even if it did he would be too much of a coward to actually tell me his feelings.
I also find myself missing some of my friends that I wish I could see more often. Even though I'm staying busy hanging out with my friends that are in Rochester and making new ones, I'm still feeling lonely. Whenever I hang out with my friends I always have such a great time and am thankful for those relationships...I suppose I'm just adjusting to the changes of how different this summer is to last's. I'm not a sad person. I love life, I just don't like heartbreak and it feels like it's breaking again/more.
I'm ready and needing to let go, move on and finish healing.