"Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
I'm taking apart a bed with my father. It's an old bed, oddly shaped, made of solid wood and painted white with really flaky-weird paint. It's held together mostly with screws, which I am removing with a saw-blade. My father is using something else entirely, and I decide that it would be a good idea to race him. "Bet you I can finish before you." I realize this is odd, since we're not each working on something separate, but I decide that it's acceptable as long as we both work faster because of it.
There's a "Friends" marathon on television to try to encourage us to buy a box-set of the show on VHS. I leave it on in the background while we work. My work seems to be picking up speed. I finally remove one of the side-pieces that holds the bed-frame together. A little pile of screws and various other fasteners is forming out to my left.
The television goes to commercial, asking me to buy now, buy now, buy now. "Only three more episodes to go, and then you have to buy the tape! Don't delay!" Hogwash. "And we now return you to your Susan Sarandon marathon. Because we thought she was dead, but she's not!"
I continue to work on the bed, this time on the other side of it. I can hear Clive Anderson on the television rambling quite fast in British about hov Susan Sarandon is his special guest, and she's not actually dead, he notes. Now the other guest, Jimmy Pop, starts to sing "Hell Yeah" in a live performance for the crowd. Every time they cheer, he starts giggling and laughing and can't finish the song. My dad seems to like the lyrics, which surprises me. Jimmy Pop seems to be changing the words a bit for his live act.
I manage to get this wooden post disassembled, and inside I find pencils. Pencils upon pencils upon pencils, all of them shaped like pretzels. They make concentric circles all the way through the post, except that they aren't shaped like circles. They really make concentric pretzels, I guess. I try to take a few out, but there doesn't seem to be any end to the supply of pretzel pencils inside this bedpost.
Susan Sarandon is singing along.
There's a "Friends" marathon on television to try to encourage us to buy a box-set of the show on VHS. I leave it on in the background while we work. My work seems to be picking up speed. I finally remove one of the side-pieces that holds the bed-frame together. A little pile of screws and various other fasteners is forming out to my left.
The television goes to commercial, asking me to buy now, buy now, buy now. "Only three more episodes to go, and then you have to buy the tape! Don't delay!" Hogwash. "And we now return you to your Susan Sarandon marathon. Because we thought she was dead, but she's not!"
I continue to work on the bed, this time on the other side of it. I can hear Clive Anderson on the television rambling quite fast in British about hov Susan Sarandon is his special guest, and she's not actually dead, he notes. Now the other guest, Jimmy Pop, starts to sing "Hell Yeah" in a live performance for the crowd. Every time they cheer, he starts giggling and laughing and can't finish the song. My dad seems to like the lyrics, which surprises me. Jimmy Pop seems to be changing the words a bit for his live act.
I manage to get this wooden post disassembled, and inside I find pencils. Pencils upon pencils upon pencils, all of them shaped like pretzels. They make concentric circles all the way through the post, except that they aren't shaped like circles. They really make concentric pretzels, I guess. I try to take a few out, but there doesn't seem to be any end to the supply of pretzel pencils inside this bedpost.
Susan Sarandon is singing along.