Defying Gravity
I am having such a hard time thinking about something right now. But I'll get to that in a minute.
I had such a wonderful evening tonight!
Liam sometimes really surprises me. He is always a very good boyfriend, but every once in awhile he just out of nowhere surprises me. He came over earlier this evening for some special time together before we went to dinner, which was amazing. Then we went to Grizzley Grill for the special of prime rib... but there was a Queen's First Aid banquet going on, so we still ate there, but couldn't get the prime rib... it was okay though, we had this amazing bbq chicken pizza instead, which I love... and we got some white wine. We got separate pizzas, and then he asked for some of mine, and I said he could have some, but not a whole slice... but he ate it all anyways! And he's like, 'You'll let me have the whole piece in a minute..." and then he told me he was buying dinner for both of us! It was an expensive meal too, it was so sweet of him! He was even going to buy dessert for us both, except then the waiter came over and said that because of the noise the banquet people were making, his manager wanted to offer us free dessert! Amazing! So we weren't sure then if he meant two desserts, or one... I assumed one, but we made the plan that I would order first the dessert we both would be happy with, and then if he looked at Liam, Liam would get the dessert he wanted on his own. And we did, we got two! It was such a wonderful night. I think it's nicer when he does wonderful things every once in awhile rather than making me sick with them all the time... it's such a lovely surprise.
I'm watching Wicked videos on YouTube. And, like everytime I watch a musical, or listen to one or something... I just want to do it so badly. I want to sing and be in musical theatre so very very badly... but I just know it's not a realistic career choice... there's very little money in it, even if you do succeed and get a great show or something, and do you know how hard it is to actually be in Wicked, or Hair, or Little Shop of Horrors, or any really decent show? Especially given my body traits of being small, which definitely plays a role in characters and roles etc. But man, I just hear a song and I see it being sung, and I want to do it so bad.
And yet, it's also so important to me to have a well paying and stable job so that I can provide for a family and give my kids these kind of opportunities. I'm not looking to have no regrets, I realize that you'll have regrets no matter what probably... but I don't want to entirely regret my choice, no matter what it is. I don't know, just every once in awhile I just really really want to do it... but not try, just to do it, and be successful as a musical theatre actress and land an amazing role where I get to sing and dance and act every night.
I had such a wonderful evening tonight!
Liam sometimes really surprises me. He is always a very good boyfriend, but every once in awhile he just out of nowhere surprises me. He came over earlier this evening for some special time together before we went to dinner, which was amazing. Then we went to Grizzley Grill for the special of prime rib... but there was a Queen's First Aid banquet going on, so we still ate there, but couldn't get the prime rib... it was okay though, we had this amazing bbq chicken pizza instead, which I love... and we got some white wine. We got separate pizzas, and then he asked for some of mine, and I said he could have some, but not a whole slice... but he ate it all anyways! And he's like, 'You'll let me have the whole piece in a minute..." and then he told me he was buying dinner for both of us! It was an expensive meal too, it was so sweet of him! He was even going to buy dessert for us both, except then the waiter came over and said that because of the noise the banquet people were making, his manager wanted to offer us free dessert! Amazing! So we weren't sure then if he meant two desserts, or one... I assumed one, but we made the plan that I would order first the dessert we both would be happy with, and then if he looked at Liam, Liam would get the dessert he wanted on his own. And we did, we got two! It was such a wonderful night. I think it's nicer when he does wonderful things every once in awhile rather than making me sick with them all the time... it's such a lovely surprise.
I'm watching Wicked videos on YouTube. And, like everytime I watch a musical, or listen to one or something... I just want to do it so badly. I want to sing and be in musical theatre so very very badly... but I just know it's not a realistic career choice... there's very little money in it, even if you do succeed and get a great show or something, and do you know how hard it is to actually be in Wicked, or Hair, or Little Shop of Horrors, or any really decent show? Especially given my body traits of being small, which definitely plays a role in characters and roles etc. But man, I just hear a song and I see it being sung, and I want to do it so bad.
And yet, it's also so important to me to have a well paying and stable job so that I can provide for a family and give my kids these kind of opportunities. I'm not looking to have no regrets, I realize that you'll have regrets no matter what probably... but I don't want to entirely regret my choice, no matter what it is. I don't know, just every once in awhile I just really really want to do it... but not try, just to do it, and be successful as a musical theatre actress and land an amazing role where I get to sing and dance and act every night.