been a long time
Lots of things have bene running through my mind lately....the main one (which everything is stemming off of) is what I'm going to do after graduation. I HAVE NO CLUE! *sigh* Really. I have a lot of ideas of what I'd like to be doing, but I have no real clue of what it is exactly that I'll be doing. There are so many things I want to do: travel, visit family, write, find that "excitement" I see so many of my fellow graduates with. They're excited for what they're going to be doing. I, on the other hand, don't feel that way. My friend Jeff, for example, is ecstatic at the prospect of going off and acting and being a part of the film industry. He really can't wait. I don't know if I've found my spark yet, which makes me really sad...but inqusitive at the same time. I've never been like other people, and I'm not sure if I would get excited the same way that other people do. Usually, when I find what I need to do at a particular moment, I just do it. I don't just sit around and analyze it...like I've been doing for over a year. I think I've finally come to terms with Law school not being for me right now. I need time. Though, I have to say, being in that one class gave me more of a thrill than I had been given by theatre in a long time. It use to excite me, it use to pulse adrenaline through my veins to the point where I couldn't take it. And, now.... I'm not so sure. I get excited for working on shows, but that's b/c I love being a part of productions on campus; I love the work, the intensity, the sacrafice for the end result. But, as I've said before, I'm not sure I can do it my whole life. I'm not even sure I can do it for the next 5 years w/o thinking that I have wasted time I could have spent "doing" things with my life.
I have, however, figured out a few things: I want to write plays, I want to change the world, I want to be proud of what I do, I want to feel as if I have validated my life, I want to make a difference, I want a gymnasium named after me, I want to know this world. I think I can get a lot of this done in the next 5 years. I need structure and goals and something to attain so that I feel I have some purpose outside of this world of academia I have so long lived in. I'm scared shitless, but I think I'm ready. I have no clue what lies beneath the surface of this water, but I feel the ever-pressing need to jump in, to not look back, to not test the temperature with my toe. Just jump.
So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
I'm hoping this is true...
I have, however, figured out a few things: I want to write plays, I want to change the world, I want to be proud of what I do, I want to feel as if I have validated my life, I want to make a difference, I want a gymnasium named after me, I want to know this world. I think I can get a lot of this done in the next 5 years. I need structure and goals and something to attain so that I feel I have some purpose outside of this world of academia I have so long lived in. I'm scared shitless, but I think I'm ready. I have no clue what lies beneath the surface of this water, but I feel the ever-pressing need to jump in, to not look back, to not test the temperature with my toe. Just jump.
So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
I'm hoping this is true...