Detox. Chlorine doesn't count.
The body is the way home. It is always the way home.
Last night I began talking to MG and started crying about Truffle. I think being around her really affected me. I knew it would be hard.
And as the weeks move past, and I swim more, I can feel it begin to move out of my body. The more I am in my body, the easier all these things become, because the body is here right now. Not then, not tomorrow. Right. Now.
And it is all about movement, and feeling the water around me. Feeling my muscles move. I can feel how much my health, physical and mental, depend on this. All my well-being depends on moving this body, in any way that is available to me at any given time.
If I can just remember not to run away from the pain.
So I move. I slide through the water like something dangerous that can hold its breath longer than you can imagine. The water and my body are friends. It holds me up so I can fly in an atmosphere where the surface is the sky. And in all of this, there is no room for anything else but right now.
I swim away from everything that is not me. I am muscle and sinew and bone and breath. If slightly wheezy breath. That is ok. But the wonderful thing is that the more I do it, the more I can feel the toxicity drain from my tissues and return to being me. Orca returns, and I come back to center.
Last night I began talking to MG and started crying about Truffle. I think being around her really affected me. I knew it would be hard.
And as the weeks move past, and I swim more, I can feel it begin to move out of my body. The more I am in my body, the easier all these things become, because the body is here right now. Not then, not tomorrow. Right. Now.
And it is all about movement, and feeling the water around me. Feeling my muscles move. I can feel how much my health, physical and mental, depend on this. All my well-being depends on moving this body, in any way that is available to me at any given time.
If I can just remember not to run away from the pain.
So I move. I slide through the water like something dangerous that can hold its breath longer than you can imagine. The water and my body are friends. It holds me up so I can fly in an atmosphere where the surface is the sky. And in all of this, there is no room for anything else but right now.
I swim away from everything that is not me. I am muscle and sinew and bone and breath. If slightly wheezy breath. That is ok. But the wonderful thing is that the more I do it, the more I can feel the toxicity drain from my tissues and return to being me. Orca returns, and I come back to center.