My faith annd trust in love....
I know that I have not been posting on here but I have been extremely busy with college and other things. Well I just wanted to update you guys with my life. Life is always going to be full of its ups and downs. My ups and downs are with love. I lost my faith and my trust in my ability to choose the right one to love me the way that I should be loved. I try to make sure that I give them my everything and giving them my everythin caused my heart to broken. It caused me to be hurt all the time because people knew that they had my heart so they decided to take full advantage of the fact that I was vulnerable and would do anything for love. My heart was aching too much and I was tired of crying tired of my heart yearning for the right one to love. I was just tired. I just wanted a new beginning with someone. I tried at first a new beginning with my ex gurlfriend but all she did was take advantage. After I got out of the relationship with my crazy ass gurkfriend before her I knew that something was going to be different with her because she understood me at first and she knew that sooner or later iu was going to fall completely head over hills in love with her and there would be nothing that was going to change that. But for some reason my heart was telling me that I shouldn't have put my everything into loving her. Because she had another at the same time as loving me. I knew it but I was way to afraid of letting her go because of my fear of being by myself. I tried so hard but I got to a point where my heart was saying no more and I had to move on because life wasn't just going to be right for me. I knew when she stopped calling me that she had another who had her heart and she had made a mistake and slept with him and now the outcome of the situation was that she became pregnant and she was going to have to deal with the fact that she was going to raise the child she made with another by herself. It was hard but just when I thought of giving up another had come in my life and stolen my heart all over agin without a second look back. It was 2 years ago that I met her. It was during a time of need that I had. I was too scared to reach out to the people I had in my life so I decided to go on an annual retreat my school had. I knew everyone in the room but I didn't know her. She sat at this table that was accross from me looking so sexy and intelligent and just plain beautiful. I mean I just coukdnt take my eyes off of her because I knew that she had to be one of the most beautiful of gods perfect creations. I mean she made me breathless in just the minutes I first saw her face. I knew there would be a connection. But I had to approach her and I just didn't know how. I was scared so I decided to write her this note telling her that I thought she was so beautiful and that after the reconcilliation service we had I would love the chance to get to know her. When the time came up I didn't know what to say. She wanted to know everything about me and I was left speechless. But who would've cared if I poured my heart outb to her? She would've not told a soul because she just had something about her that just made me trust her with everything I had in me. She told me that I was phenomenal and I was beautiful. Words no other woman had ever said to me because they would let me be the only one to say that they were beautiful. I mean she made my heart skip beats within those first few minutes of that 3 and half hours we sat there and talked. I mean it really was this time love at first site. This woman had me with just the advice she was giving me. I couldn't hold back my blushes or my smiles because I felt so loved and so happy man. I mean I got everything I had been asking fo r my whole life in just 5 minutes spent with her and I wondered what would happern if I was to spend the rest of my life with her. Would she be the best thing I could have ever imagined my heart to have found? Would my prayers get answered? I mean just it was the best moments of my entire lifetime. Someone actually found me attractive and thought I was a phenomenal woman who did so many things phenomenally. I mean this woman had so much to offer me. So as time went on her and begin spending time together and everytime I touched or spent time with her it felt like I was falling in love with the same person all over again. I mean she made my hands shake, my palms sweat, my knees buckle and my heart skip beats each and everytime. Amazing is what she was then and amazing is what she is to thia day. I am glad to call this beautiful woman my partner in life in friendship and in love. She's my everything and there is nothing in this world that would ever change the fact that we are in love and there is nothing that can come between us. I have searched the depths of my soul doors, my minds intimate thoughts, my struggles and my ups and downs to just find that one who would be there for me through everything. Through the midst of my pain and my tears and my weaknesses I know I will always have this beautiful woman by my side. I mean forever is what I want to be with this woman. I want to even start a family with her and be there with her as she bears our children and I want to be able to come home to her. The smell of her cooking, the smell of her perfume, the smell of her body. I just want to be there with her at night. Holding her and kissing her and making love to her. I want top whisper sweet nothings into her ears and tell her I love her and watch as she blushes and as she smiles uncontrolably. I mean I want to just be in her presence all the time and love her unconditionally. With the feelings that I have for her to this day io know that it wil l be a strong chance that one day we might share our lives together. I am excited to see what the future holds. I am so going to hold onto the good thing that I have with this beautiful woman of mine. Once you find true love there is just nothing that is going to break the bond you two have. Its an amazing feeling you get in youe gut each and everytime that you see this one person. Its amazing. You should just always hold onto the love that is not going to hurt you. I am. So that's basically what I have been dealing with these past few months. Nothing really strange.. Excep0t the pregnancy of my mother... that's so crazy but what can I do.. Its my mother... I am happy for my family. I have to be. Its my family. Bit that's basically it for me life is just life and I have to live it to its full potential and trust and believe in the man above and love him for who and what he is. The omnipresent man he is. He's my everything and I thankhim everday for loving me unconditioanlly. That's basically it for me.. So feel free to leave comments and things.