TJ"s First Rain Romp Ever!
His first romp in the rain and curb damn. He's having so much fun exploring his new safety zone he doesn't care he's soaked to the bone with water running down his face. A few will understand how huge this is.
Just after the pic, he was standing in the water ankle deep laughing w/abandon.
"Even my underwear is wet!"
"Are you ready to go in?"
"No, I still have more experiments to try. What happens if this flashlight gets wet!"
Why is he suddenly able to start being a kid? Many reasons, but mostly Filial Play Therapy. It switches validation from external (which will ALWAYS disappoint) to self-validating. It allows a child to trust their inner self. No stuffing, stiffling, parental manipulation to demand "good" behavior. It teaches them about having choices and living out the consequences, but it's from THEIR decision. It teaches self-monitoring. And gives them the confidence they are loved no matter what apart from anything they do or do not do. Everything else is learning, discovering, and communicating honestly. It's not without boundaries, but healthy ones:
"You are really mad. You want to shoot me with that dart gun you're so mad. But I'm not for shooting. You can shoot this target or go hit your pillow. But I'm not for hurting."
It teaches them how to self-sooth.
The class also exposed the falicy of the praise / reward system. Lots of studies to support acknowledging the process empowers so much better than praising the product, which actually takes ownship of accomplishment away from the child. "Good job" has the undertone you succeeded in satisfying my requirements therefor I deem you adequate. "You're working hard" or "You really like your creation" validates their own feelings and gives them safety to explore who they are.
Without a constant review of whether this is gold star behavoir or not, they are free to be. I see a lot of similarities to DBT used for personality disorders. Most kids learn to deal with the judgementalism. But why should they have to from those that love them? Especially ultra sensitive kids.
Here's where I go rogue. What if the raise in Aspergers isn't from immunizations, what if it's a response to generations of guilt parenting and a society of judging and living up to the gold standard? What if these "sensitive " kids just have a low BS threshold? Perhpas they're wise enough to see through it and actually strong enough not to accept it. ,Um...your game is wack. So you can keep it. I'll interact when I must. But the real me will be over hear in my bubble world of true reality."
And now it's time to decorate the Rainbow Brite cake for baby girl. Every four years we do it. Today will be her 6th one. Whereas she was disappointed grownup stuff kept her from experiencing little brother's joy last night, she so happy fear of what might go wrong no longer cripples him. That and these speak of building paper boats to float the curb river.
peace and love to you and yours