Funnies I also found
"I sent flowers to someone who was moving to Florida for a job promotion. I also sent flowers the same day to a funeral for a friend.
I found out later that the flower shop got the cards mixed up. They sent the card to the guy who was moving that said, "Deepest Condolences," and sent the card to the funeral home that said, "I know it's hot where you're going, but you deserve it."
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Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail."
So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday.
So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did.
'I got 17 people to get off drugs,' says the first guy.
'Wow, how'd you do that?' asks the judge.
'I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.'
'Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.'
'Wow. How'd you do that?' asked the judge.
'Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison...'
I found out later that the flower shop got the cards mixed up. They sent the card to the guy who was moving that said, "Deepest Condolences," and sent the card to the funeral home that said, "I know it's hot where you're going, but you deserve it."
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Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail."
So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday.
So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did.
'I got 17 people to get off drugs,' says the first guy.
'Wow, how'd you do that?' asks the judge.
'I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.'
'Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.'
'Wow. How'd you do that?' asked the judge.
'Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison...'