my faith...

[sexyjo18]

well... yesterday was the first day in 4 months that i stepped into that church... i had forgotten everything that i loved about it... for some reason it's like a home away from home for me... bc for a while it was my only escape from home... when my dad was being really hard on me about my brother... when louie died... when i felt that all my

Comments

[tthingonthansrs]

Well, Im very proud of you for going back to church, SF. I was invited to a Thursday night service by this girl named Megan a week ago or so, and i still havent gone :( I feel kinda bad about it, but I too have reservations about church. I guess it kinda scares me bc the last few times i went willingly, i found myself trying really hard to hold back tears. It just gets to me and i dont know why...But anywho, i think helping Laurie move and making dinner for Shani and her family are great ideas. Sometimes it really does help to focus on others. It gives you a new perspective and you begin to worry less and less about your own troubles.
And btw, you were absolutely right about my LJ post- I never should have put that up, and for a while, it actually WAS private. I know i messed up and Im glad u said something, as upset as i kinda was when u did. Mostly i was just panicked all of a sudden bc i realized what i had done and also that u were disappointed in me. Ive just been so discouraged and depressed these last 5 or so months and i really thought things were getting better and looking up, but now i just feel like i was being so naive. I was just at that point where i didnt know what to do anymore and i just had to be like, "look, this is how it is. Here is why none on this is realistic and why i just cant go on pretending that things are going to be ok". I just felt helpless and my LJ is one way of reaching out for some kind of clearity..or conveying messages that i would otherwise be unable to relate. My decision to post it was a rash one and i understand that now. And im sorry; not only to you, but to Shaun as well. We do a lot of things in desperation, i suppose...Anyways....I hope you're having a good day today (arent you glad its cooling down outside!!! YAY!! hahaha) ill talk to u soon. Much love, SF :)