grrrrrr
what do you do when you cant stop crying and when you feel so alone... the last 2 days made me happy i didnt feel as alone, i kinda spent sometime with a friend that made me feel wanted for a little bit, but then when he left this morning for work i started crying cause i feel like i am always going to be alone, grrrr.... matt why the hell are you fucking with my mind, i have been through thick and thin with you for 3 years now and all i get from you is more confusion, one day your begging me for forgiveness the next your telling me that looking back on our relationship that you didnt see nothing special and then you say you were just in a pissed off mood and didnt mean it and that you still love me....make up your damn mind grrrr... i think i am just meant to be alone, that has to be it cause i am a great person or at least i think i am and i always get hurt, why do i open up and let my feelings out just to get hurt, it makes no sense, i hate feelings, by now i shouldnt care no more but somehow i always find myself thinking and it sucks cause then i end up crying and being depressed, i need out of this state now, i just want out i want away from all the pain, lets leave today damn it.... just up and runaway from everything, meet new people and start over again, i will miss everyone when i do leave though. most of all i will miss the memeories, but i guess i need to go and find myself somehow, cause staying here is just making me feel more and more alone, i live life to work and sleep, life doesnt seem meaningful without that special someone in your life, the person that makes you want to come home at night just to see there face, the person that makes you feel complete... its makes life so much more meaningful...... ok i am going to shut up now before i fucking explode... i am so sick of you fucking tellin me you want forgiveness and telling me you want to be back together just to fucking tell me something different every fucking other day make up your fucking mind cause all your doing is hurting me more, i finally was fucking ok after the 3 months we were apart and then you come back into my life and beg me to go back to you and now again your fucking hurting me,i can take the fact that we aint together but dont mess with my mind anymore stay the fuck out of my life then...goodbye