I'm a PC guy
I can't stand this guy. He's been in a few decent movies (I now consider Dodgeball and Waiting decent movies for the sake of argument) and those annoying Apple commercials--to be fair I like them although as a PC owner I can't help but be annoyed with what I covet but cannot afford--yet there is a sinister quality to Justin Long that begs me to beg for his immediate blacklisting in Hollywood. You know what? I probably would have loved Dodgeball were Justin Long not in it! And while nothing could save the film Waiting from the shit-stain-equivalent-of-comedy tag-team known as Andy Milonakis and Dane Cook, Justin's starring role made all the terrific gross-out jokes all the less funny. I would say that he reminds me of a much younger Keanu Reeves, but Keanu is only 14 years older than him! The IMDB Biography page for Justin says that he "has been noted for his resemblance to Tim Allen, who was his co-star in Galaxy Quest (1999)." Now if stinking up every scene he's ever been in wasn't enough for me to hate the guy, resembling Tim Allen accoording to a bunch of blind fanboys seals the deal.
Perhaps it's not that Mr. Long is such a bad actor, after all, he did take a wrench to the face. No, Justin is just like any other talentless kid in he midst of his teenage prime (born 1978). Why hate him any more than Hayden Christensen or the much more deserving Nick Cannon? It's not like Justin Long starred in at least two films with Steve Harvey. And did he single-handedly sink the Star Wars franchise (okay it was George Lucas, but play along)? Is it his dispensibility? The fact that he looks like a walking head-shot; the face of an actor without any of the pizazz that not only gets a performer awards but does justice to the artists who imagined the parts in which actors play. Or maybe it's the fact that he might be the first actor since John Goodman (who I do think is good!) that I have never believed in a single role? But alas, if I were to lament over the phony-ness of Hollywood and it's dispensible films I'd write about how sad it is that Clerks II was made.
I digress; it's not that I hate Justin Long. I'm too busy hating other celebrities simply for their work. People like Kevin Smith, Carlos Mencia, The "Blue Collar" Boys, Tom Cruise and, because it bears repeating, Carlos Mencia. Justin Long is just taking advantage of what he's got: weird muppet looks that insecure younger girls inexplicably find attractive. The Muppet face is a very distinguishable quality shared by many but recognized by few. While I may not be as good a writer as I wish to be, I know I'll always be tops in my ability to point out Muppet faces. I will not tell you whether or not you have a Muppet face. I am sorry.
Alex