Not another one of these...

[sexydecoy]

If you are reading this, reply with a memory about me.
Not a real one, though. Like the time we went parasailing with Cap'n Crunch.
Lets not waste our time recalling things that "actually" happened.
Then post this on your journal if you think I'm awesome.
This Waste of Time was Created by Alex Czysz. He would copywright it, but that would also be a

Comments

[notmemyself]

i remember the eve of canadian boxing day last year: under the cover of bewitching night-hours you, attired in naught but your external dental retainer and imported feather boa, and i, saddle-shoed and still smarting from the matching jack black tattoos we recently had imprinted on the smalls of our bronzed backs, set out with only a bottle of schlitz malt liquor (blue-bull), a few volcanic sediment pebbles, slingshots, the soundtrack to the secret garden, and bodyfulls of malice onto to sleeping suburban homes of our enemies. vengeance that dark day was ours;

how i pine for days past.

[sexydecoy]

I have since had my Jack Black tattoo altered into an image of Oliver Platt taking a spongebath. It was a four-hour procedure, and, ironically, in the tattoo parlor, the films Orange County and School of Rock were playing.

[impregnate]

the very last time we went svalbard narwhal watching off the coast of spitzbergen. our ship was knee-high full of choleric aspics, eyeing our limbs. maybe you could tell me how we untangled ourselves from that si-chee-ay-shun because i was high at the time and i recollect nothing between the time you offered me a cup of tea and being washed ashore the sea bank of east canada. yes?

[sexydecoy]

The brandishing of my broadsword was nothing short of heroic, and I slashed those little buggers with an efeminine malice that would make Errol Flynn blush. You were, at the time, talking to a small group of seashells - thinking they were our gelatinous fiends. I extracted the tea from the teat of one of our shipmates, Gruegord: a half elf, half goat crossbreed.

And boy, Canada was beautiful! Especially the pyramids!

[_jax_]

i remember it like it was yesterday.. you and i went backpacking in europre. we were only there for a few hours when a man named biblstanmanak (pronounced bibble - stan - man - ack :P) came up to us and offered to house us for a week while we were in europe. you were kinda scared to do this.. but i was certain that it would be a good idea so you agreed. we went to biblstanmanak's house which was about 20 minutes away. he had a beautiful home. it was very large. it was landscaped in such a remarkable way. we walked up to the front and an older lady opened the door and greeted us. she handed us name tags and sent us to the living room.. this is where there were 5 other guests. there were 3 girls and 2 boys. we all said hello.. and THEN A BIG BOOM sounded.. the front door was locked and we were all trapped inside.. the tv turned on and with that..

This is the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house and have their lives taped, and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting REAL. The Real World!

[sexydecoy]

I found it strange that I was typecast as the angry black housemate (instead of Leroy) and that you were potrayed as one of the scenic goldfish. The wonders that can be done with editing!

[_thisismonogamy]

Lifetime movie version:
One time,
you and I went to the beach,
and we kissed a lot.
And we wrote our names in the sand and pretended like they would stay forever.
Then we had sex and babies and lived happily ever after.

COPS version:
We were living in our trailor as drug dealers and you fucking lost all of our supply,
once again.
So some bitches who had already paid us were flipping their shits about not having anything,
so they were throwing shit out windows and the cops came.
They were like,
"NIGGA PLEASE."
And handcuffed us and put us in the back of the car.
But we knocked those fuckers out and managed to escape.
The next day when we were screwing in a disgusting old hotel room,
our pictures were on the tv as the "2005 Bonnie & Clyde: But way fucking hotter."

The end.
I'm sorry those sucked.
I wrote them in 20 seconds.

♥

[sexydecoy]

But we LIVED them in 40 seconds!
(or more, depending on who is counting)

Also: Last time I checked our names were still in the sand, but as I remember your name isn't 'Steve', is it? Am I going senile?

Nonetheless, Alex loves Steve. Yes, that sounds right.

[glitter_my_glam]

I remember the first time you took me to a Hanson concert. We were driving to New Jersey, and on the way we saw an Arm & Hammer truck broken down on the side of the rode. Being the honest people we are, we pulled over to help. It turns out the drivers were trying to smuggle a Russian princess into New York, but ran over a porcupine and had to pull over. We towed them into Jersey, and gave them the number for AAA. Because of our good deeds, they rewarded us with the One Ring.

Then that bitch Frodo stole it back.

[sexydecoy]

I'm sure Mr. Frodo will feel contrite after realizing that it wasn't an onion ring he had snatched. It was probably for that other guy he was with, who was rather corpulent!