ESSAY TIME!

[sexy_roach]

Those who interact with Gojyo on a regular basis (and those who don't too, maybe) may have noticed that he has been considerably bitchy for the past week. It's funny because these are actually the consequences of something that had been building up for about a month or so but I never realized until... well... a week ago, when he exploded. FAIL AS A MUN. So to make up for that, or something, I will now attempt to explain why Gojyo is currently so pissy at himself the world and all that's going on in his head.

Events Of Relevance:
In attempted chronological order!

Kami-sama's Arrival: This isn't exactly what started it all, but is the first that counts in Gojyo's List of Crappy Stuff. And no, it's not exactly the fact that he's in camp what makes it so bad (because Gojyo was actually glad to see him alive again) but the consequences it brought. Gojyo had been warning certain people about how powerful and dangerous he was, he saw Uryuu snarking at him and, of course had to warn him too. Everything was going A-OK until Uryuu, being... Uryuu, decide to fight Kami-sama. BZZT. It was then that, despite Ryuuken and Death's warnings, Gojyo got in the middle of the fight because he didn't want to see either of them get hurt. He yelled at Uryuu and everything, it was awesome. But I digress! During that not-fight, Hakkai also showed up and saw Gojyo being all caring and waffy (in his own Gojyo way) to Kami-sama and he responded to this by being all "I'mma go to the library now k? lol bbl". Of course, Gojyo noticed that Hakkai was not comfortable about Kami-sama and all that but he figured it was just one of Hakkai's little quirks, so he didn't give it much importance (lose!).

Ari, Rosalyn, and their Fucked Up World: First 'important thread' took place in the "Who do you hate?" post, with Ari being all emo and self-loathing. I'm not going to deepen ito the reasons why Gojyo was annoyed by this because I'm sure they're pretty obvious, but during that thread Gojyo yelled at Ari, made him cry and ended up sharing with him the story of his sad childhood. And after that, things were generally okay, until Marlene turned into a doll again. Ari told Gojyo about how Ros had made him drag and hide Marlene's 'body' in his store and how traumatic it had all been, and Gojyo being the caring Gay Uncle he is, decided he should have a word or two with Rosalyn. Enter Hero stage left, Rosalyn and Gojyo had a loooong talk in which Gojyo basically told her she failed at caring for other people and somehow ended up with Rosalyn talking about Okageland, Classifications and stuff that Gojyo's little mind will never be able to understand because they make no sense to him. What frustrated Gojyo so much about that particular conversation, was that everything he told Rosalyn completely flew over her head, and in the end she was all "ZOMG NOW I'M OFF TO CONTINUE POKING AT ARI'S HAPPY TRAUMA BUTTONS YAY KTHXBAI" except. Not with those words, of course.

Ikkaku and His Bitches: At this point, I'm sure everyone knows that Ikkaku and Gojyo's relationship is not exactly what one could call 'functional'. Sure, they're buddies and they hang around but they also love getting in Deep Meaningful Discussions Over The Meaning Of Life Death and... other more violent activities. So that's why when Gojyo found about how Ikkaku was dating 2 people at the same time (and none of them were Yumichika, gasp!) he double-teamed him with Ryuuken. Later, he had a talk with George in which he learned about her breakup with Xander and also that she was aware that Ikkaku would probably end up hurting her, it was all pretty nice until George started not-emoing at him about boys and stuff, which made Gojyo sort of go "Hey... haven't we had this discussion like at least three times before?"

Yumichika and His Issues: So Ikkaku left and Yumichika's discreetly freaking out. Gojyo goes and tries to comfort him, telling him that Ikkaku will be back and that he's not alone and Yumichika, being the bitchy Shinigami he is, basically told him he didn't care about anyone but Ikkaku so it didn't matter anyway. That was what made Gojyo finally snap~!

SPECIAL MENTION -- Hakkai and The Date Rape Angel: This is something that came up in the hate post as well. Hakkai finally told Gojyo about his happy visits to the library and how he would always fall asleep and wake up all exhausted. Now, the fact that Hakkai was seemingly perfectly okay with this (WHAT THE HELL HAKKAI DOES NOT FALL ASLEEP THAT EASILY. ESPECIALLY NOT IN FRONT OF STRANGERS) didn't help at all. So even though this issue was technically not related to any of the others, it still affected Gojyo in a negative way, adding up to the rest.

So, Exactly What Is Gojyo's Problem?
To put it shortly, Gojyo is tired of people never listening to him.

With Uryuu, it was something he kind of expected (because hey, it's Uryuu), and he didn't mind so much with Ari because, in the end, he does have his reasons (even if Gojyo doesn't understand them at all) but the rest... it was a matter of Gojyo getting angry at himself for caring about people who seem to never pay attention to what he has to say. This is also the reason why he didn't want to talk about it on the anon crushes post, because he was perfectly aware that this was something he had brought upon himself and that there was nothing that could be done to help it unless he magically stopped caring about people, which of course, was not going to happen.
I was pretty worried at that time because I wasn't exactly sure how I would get him out of his moodyness (especially since Hakkai-mun was not-hiatusing), but luckily, the making out and consequent throwing-off-the-roof with Yumichika helped. And the next day, hanging around Kami-sama and Lirin (and stopping them from killing each other ha ha...) were exactly what Gojyo needed to get rid of his PMS.

Now, back when he was still in the bad place, I commented to a couple of people that he needed to yell at someone. It didn't happen, but I still think that's something he needs, because even if he managed to get better on his own, all that frustration and general bitterness are still bottled up inside him and, in the long run, they could lead to something worse. Which is why I'm not so sekritly hoping Hakkai will bring up the incident with Yumichika, but that's another story!

Wow, I don't think that made sense at all.

And! As a bonus:


Gojyo On Yumichika - The FAQ

1. What does Gojyo feel for Yumichika?
   Let's get the difficult one out of the way first. On the one hand, Yumichika is a bipolar narcissistic psycho who need to get laid by Ikkaku yesterday. On the other, he's actually very fun to talk to and hang around and he's pretty in a very special oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-he's-a-man way and he's also a merry bundle of issues that needs to be taken care of. Gojyo honestly likes him and worries about him and hates the fact that Ikkaku is in absolute denial about Yumichika, because it's obvious they're made for each other. Freaks.
2. Would Gojyo do Yumichika?
   Yes, probably. I've mentioned before that Yumichika is (along with Hakkai and Umeda) the only guy in camp Gojyo would have sex with. However, that doesn't change the fact that Gojyo totally sees him as a black widow and would probably think it twice before doing anything with him. Also, even though Gojyo has 'experience' with crazy mass murderers, he would never consider dating him seriously because Yumichika's more than what he can handle and, let's face it, the only person apt to do that is Ikkaku (when he's not being an idiot).
3. Why did Gojyo ask Yumichika on a date?
   Because the muns are horrible people. Because he felt like it. Partially to spite Ikkaku and partially to try and make Yumichika feel better. Gojyo is aware that Yumichika likes attention and acknowledgement, and what better way to take his mind off his stupid partner than asking him out?
4. And what about that kiss, you whore?
   Gojyo made the "What, no good night kiss?" comment for three main reasons:
   
   a) To stop Yumichika from leaving again while he was still feeling like shit.
   b) To tease him.
   c) To find out if what Yumichika had said in the anon crushes post was true.
   
   In all truth, he didn't expect Yumichika to actually kiss him (lolz idiot) and even though he was surprised at first, he went with it because he was feeling like shit and because the whole scenario was deeply amusing to him. Like I told Yumichika-mun, it was also something of a "STFU AND GET OVER YOUR STUPID ISSUES ALREADY YOU IDIOT" kiss. Of course, it probably didn't work, but hey! It was a good kiss.
5. He does realize that Hakkai's gonna fuck his shit up after this, right?
   Mun does! Gojyo, on the other hand, doesn't! Given his background, Gojyo does not, in any way, relate sex with love and the kiss meant absolutely nothing to him. So in his mind, what he did wasn't all that wrong (and! It's not as if he was planning to hide it from Hakkai, anyway!) 8D
6. Does Gojyo ship Yumikkaku?
   In case this wasn't painfully obvious, yes, he does. Of course, he thinks Ikkaku is a complete and total insensitive ass and Yumichika deserves better than that, but some things you cannot help.

Aaaaand, yes, totally open for more questions if anyone feels like it. THERE. DONE.