Bryan.....
So in the past recent weeks I have done many things to screw up my life. None that I am very proud of. I have come to this low point in my life where I just want to disappear and not be found until I find myself. Umm, if I can dance at Gold Coast in there shower nekkid I must have a problem (as many of you know how insecure I am with myself).
On the brigher side last Monday I hungout with Bryan for the first time. We met at Gigi's about 3 months ago and have attempted to hangout, but was never successful at it. That night was bascially the same exact thing that I had done with my ex-boyfriend Josh. All we did was sit on the couch for 13 hours and talked. We basically got to know each other more. Since that night we've have not spent one night apart. Yeah, you might think things are going well. But, it's not as easy as everyone thinks. Bryan is a very complicated, shy and closed person. He is the most difficult person to read. This is the first guy that I've had to work this hard to find out his true feelings, and it's worth it. My opinion, Bryan has everything in a guy that I look for. He plans on moving to Toledo to start a new life and I think he wants me to be a part of it. Only if you knew the situation he is putting himself in by moving down here. I think by him moving down here is something he really needs right now, but I think it's something that will keep us from being together. He knows it, but I really think he needs to be down here. I just wish that I could give him what he really needs. Many of you know how I operate. If I have the slightest inkling that it wouldn't work I automatically close myself to that person. I don't know why but it's very different with him. I just keep opening myself to him and letting him get deeper and deeper in my heart. After everything that I have done for myself I think I'm going to set aside everything I say I would never do and go with it. If he moves down here and still wants me to be part of his life I think I just may take the chance. But the only way that it's going to work out is if he truly believe in himself and us. Bascially he has all of my dedication and heart and what he does with it who knows. But I can honestly tell you that the way is see it might end will really put me in my all time low. So now lets see what he plans on doing.
On the brigher side last Monday I hungout with Bryan for the first time. We met at Gigi's about 3 months ago and have attempted to hangout, but was never successful at it. That night was bascially the same exact thing that I had done with my ex-boyfriend Josh. All we did was sit on the couch for 13 hours and talked. We basically got to know each other more. Since that night we've have not spent one night apart. Yeah, you might think things are going well. But, it's not as easy as everyone thinks. Bryan is a very complicated, shy and closed person. He is the most difficult person to read. This is the first guy that I've had to work this hard to find out his true feelings, and it's worth it. My opinion, Bryan has everything in a guy that I look for. He plans on moving to Toledo to start a new life and I think he wants me to be a part of it. Only if you knew the situation he is putting himself in by moving down here. I think by him moving down here is something he really needs right now, but I think it's something that will keep us from being together. He knows it, but I really think he needs to be down here. I just wish that I could give him what he really needs. Many of you know how I operate. If I have the slightest inkling that it wouldn't work I automatically close myself to that person. I don't know why but it's very different with him. I just keep opening myself to him and letting him get deeper and deeper in my heart. After everything that I have done for myself I think I'm going to set aside everything I say I would never do and go with it. If he moves down here and still wants me to be part of his life I think I just may take the chance. But the only way that it's going to work out is if he truly believe in himself and us. Bascially he has all of my dedication and heart and what he does with it who knows. But I can honestly tell you that the way is see it might end will really put me in my all time low. So now lets see what he plans on doing.